1. This post will start from where I last left off. Namely, Kuok Kah's advice to Cao Cao concerning Lu Bu. At the same time, I'll try to include comparisons between his Thesis of Ten Victories and Defeats and Xun Yu's Thesis of Four Victories and Defeats.
2. Because part of this post will involve womanising, I've got a decent idea on who to feature next. Again, he's of the Three Kingdoms Fame. Unlike boys and men, he's never one to objectify women. It doesn't matter to him how beautiful she is, how sexy she is, and whether I'm talking about Emilia 404. For the sake of convenience, let's call him General Loong. I don't blame the #MeToo movement for this because Donald Trump (accidentally) inspired me to pull off the Loong.
乱世英雄卧常山
幼龙白马归刘汉
当阳长坂震曹军
江阳汉水立虎威
猛将之烈钢枪起
智将无双虚阵明
一身是胆厚重心
不畏千军万马临
翊军征南良臣缘
中护镇国顺平宣
Note: Keira Valkyrie was just (accidentally) pointing out the error of role model worship, but there's nothing wrong for boys and men to learn from General Loong when it comes to respecting women who are politically objectified for nefarious purposes.
Add note: After going through this post, I realised the quality is terribly lame. Just sayin'. But I'm not going to change anything since I'm mostly messing around. If not totally.
Okay, let's continue...
[太祖笑曰：“如卿所言，孤何德以堪之也！”嘉又曰：“绍方北击公孙瓒，可因其远征，东取吕布。不先取布，若绍为寇，布为之援，此深害也。”
太祖曰：“然。”]
Translate:
Cao Cao laughed and said, "If what you've said is true, I feel really flattered."
Guo Jia said, "Yuan Shao is now occupied in a war with Gongsun Zan in the north. We should head east to attack Lü Bu. If we don't eliminate Lü Bu first, when Yuan Shao attacks us and Lü Bu assists him, we'll be in deep trouble."
Cao Cao replied: "Agreed."
Above part is the end of Fuzi's account of Kuok Kah's job interview. At this point, Cao Cao still had to deal with Yuan Shao. Yet, it must be also stated that Yuan Shao was stronger than Cao Cao. While the intuitive approach was to take on Yuan Shao, Kuok Kah advised against it. Not directly, but rather indirectly. Telling your boss to attack Lu Bu instead of Yuan Shao first is like understanding which battle is more important come 6th Nov. We all know Taylor Swift sang Shake It Off as her gift to the Democrats. Should it be the House of Representatives or the Senate? We all know the song that goes "Everybody Wants To Rule The World". But what if you can't do so? By telling Cao Cao to go for Lu Bu instead of trying to attack Yuan Shao first, Kuok Kah was effectively telling his boss to place the Senate as the top priority. After all, the House of Representatives can afford to wait for another two years unless there's some kind of insider source telling Trump that the Democrats will fail to seize the Senate.
As it turned out, not only did Cao Cao agreed to Kuok Kah's proposed strategy, the stable genius they called Guo Fengxiao ended up masterminding the victory against ISIS. Yazidis have Nadia Murad to thank for speaking out on their behalf, Christians have Guo Fengxiao to thank for (indirectly) taking down Mosul and Raqqa. More details in the next post, but let's just say that N years before ISIS declared their nation, the man whose name rhymed with the Chinese term for nation had this to say about Lu Bu. And ISIS as well.
[“昔项籍七十馀战，未尝败北，一朝失势而身死国亡者，恃勇无谋故也。今布每战辄破，气衰力尽，内外失守。布之威力不及项籍，而困败过之，若乘胜攻之，此成禽也。”]
Translate:
"Xiang Ji was undefeated for more than seventy battles, yet he lost the momentum, thereby resulting in his death and the demise of his country. All this was because of overconfidence in his bravery while lacking foreplanning. Now that Lu Bu is being defeated at every battle, his strength is now sapped with the defence lacking in both outside and within. Lu Bu's ability is never on the par with Xiang Ji and he is now overwhelmed by defeat and fatigue. If we continue to press forth, he will be captured."
AG Jeff Wong hates me!
[初，陈群非嘉不治行检，数廷诉嘉，嘉意自若。]
Translate:
From the beginning, Chen Qun was unhappy with Guo Jia's unruly ways. Despite his behaviour reported numerous times, Guo Jia remained calm.
And since AG Tan could have been the Supreme Court nominee every American is clamouring for (that is if he's both alive and an American
Possible problem 1: Kuok Kah enjoyed insulting other people's intelligence
Since Kuok Kah didn't have time for Facebook (he's most likely the kind of guy whose FB friends are no more than 200-300), it means he didn't have time for racists, misogynists, and irrational people from the left and right. Needless to say, he didn't have time for people like these below.
I have to give this verdict for a reason: While it's possible for Kuok Kah to insult dumb people, it's very likely that's not the reason why AG Tan sued him before the Cao Wei Senate. The reason why being that Kuok Kah wasn't the most abrasive fellow in Cao Cao's administration. Believe it or not, the expert in insulting other people's intelligence wasn't Kuok Kah.
[“愚民不可计事。”]
Translate:
"The foolish are not fit to partake in things."
The person saying this was none other than Cheng Yu. Also known as the King of Insults and the Counterintuitive, he's definitely the most qualified person to scold the current world upside-down.
Possible problem 2: Kuok Kah liked beer
I know this sounds terribly Brett Kavanaugh (then again, there are many in Clarke Quay who like beer). So how possible was it? First, too much beer is the cause of judgement impairment. People kill others and themselves by drink driving, that's no joke. Giving the girl too much beer means you're up to no good, that's no joke either. As for getting drunk during any high school party... well, I can only say be careful. Lest you fall over the balcony without getting laid. I won't say that'd be terrible, but it's definitely the most humiliating way to end your life.
Impossibru and another Impossibru. While I'm not sure how addled Cersei got after chugging pints of wine (mainly because beer is for the low SES people), it's impossible for Kuok Kah to allow a love for beer to impair his job performance. Cao Cao was never about nepotism, he's 100% meritocratic. So what if he enjoyed a pint or two after work? That's different from a lack of self-control. Just don't ask me whether every Brett Kavanaugh will swear off the beer from this day onward.
Possible problem 3: If my boss can womanise, so can I
If your boss can womanise, it doesn't mean you can. You're in control of your urges, not your boss' hornometer. It must be said that Cao Cao was a womaniser. In fact, there was this one time where his womanising habit got himself into trouble. This was against Zhang Xiu. By right, it should have ended at Zhang Xiu's willing surrender. But hell no! That Cao Cao actually grabbed his uncle Zhang Ji's wife/concubine! So what if Zhang Ji died before this happened? Respect may be optional in today's era, but it's 100% a must during those times. So what if Zhang Ji was an old man? We're talking about an era where little girls were married off like Barbie dolls purchased by random shoppers! So how beautiful was Lady Zou? Quite obviously, I don't have her portrait. Let alone her photo. But I can try my best...
**** you, Cao Cao. Just... **** you. For one beautiful widow, one of your sons died and one of your generals died as well. Your son Cao Ang died so that you can run away and Dian Wei died in order to protect your sorry arse from being busted. Seriously, Cao Cao. **** you. Just... **** you. Do you know how smart this stable genius of a bastard below is?
His name is Jia Xu, courtesy named Wenhe. Known to have the stable genius of Zhang Liang and Chen Ping, DO YOU KNOW HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS????? Dumbass, you should have figured out that Zhang Xiu got this one hell of a stable genius at his side.
Believe it or not, there's no IMPOSSIBRU! face coming from Emilia 404. In fact, I googled for the keywords "emilia clarke impossibru". After all, if Cersei can IMPOSSIBRU!, so can the Khaleesi. Since we're talking about the internet, I won't be surprised if this is gonna happen.
Anyway, Kuok Kah being a womaniser like his boss would be the likeliest reason behind getting censured by AG Tan. Ancient China was no different from modern-day Singapore in the sense that you can do anything so long...
1. You don't break the law.
2. You don't get caught. I've spent 2 years in national service even though my psychiatrist was the reason why I got a permanent PES E. So what this means is this: Do anything but don't get caught.
Compared to getting drunk or scolding people, it's arguably easier for Kuok Kah to womanise and get away with it. After all, mental focus is the reason why strategists exist. This was also why if placed in the same circumstances, Khal Drogo and Jon Snow wouldn't have died from having a weak constitution. Trust me, that's the cause of a stable genius' death just before Cao Cao declared war on Liu Biao.
Special mention: Giving nicknames and being a nuisance by default
In a nutshell, it means winding people up. Giving nicknames can be fun, but can you imagine Kuok Kah calling Xun Yu a royal sempai? It's like me calling Queen Elizabeth I the royal granny. How about Cheng Yu? Salty Fish. Actually, there's already one living in Lake Life@Taman Jurong. Sorry, that one is Salted Fish, not Salty Fish. Salty Koreans due to this? You bet. It's like calling AG Tan... well, Salty AG Tan. Jia Xu could pass off as Faker because he's an expert in survival tactics. Sima Yi would be Sibeh Zhongda just like how I'm sometimes tempted (?) to call Ryan... well, Ryan Shawcross due to that tackle 6 years ago. No, I didn't fail my maths. As for Zhang Liao, he could be called Minister Teo Boon Wan.
At the end of the day, above jokes shouldn't be tried for a reason: They're lame. Very lame. Then again, lame jokes do not affect how well you can wind up those around you. The same for Kuok Kah.
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