L'République Otters: December 2019

Okay, the post title is a lie unless the likes of Miura Kentaro, Isayama Hajime, and Hirano Kouta decide to endorse me. Come to think of it, that's impossible even though I might have been blessed/cursed with Yayoi-Jomon facial features. Even though my pink card stated I'm a Chinese, I swear the shape of my eyes and jawline weirdly resemble an Ainu.

Note: I don't know whether Abe Hiroshi is related to the Ainu even though I'm 100% sure he's unrelated to another Abe whose given name is Shinzo. Seriously, do you think Japanese politics would allow a guy with a Jomon/Ainu look to be the PM? I doubt so. There are times where I actually wondered whether there's an external force at work concerning certain rulings and decisions involving the welfare of the Ainu people. Considering how stubborn the rest of Japan from Tohoku to Kyushu and Shikoku has been when it comes to history, it definitely got nothing to do with Minamoto no Yoshitsune.

Yes, I've dropped off from the blogging radar entirely...

The reason was never depression even though we should be more willing to talk about matters which others don't like talking about. Coupled with stuff like this and that, you can't blame the Japanese for making two AMV vids of the same song.

I'm currently too engrossed in playing Everquest 2. Thankfully, feeling a bit emotionally dry for quite some time means I finally get an opportunity to retaliate against that aberrant called procrastination. Because no one knows what I'm doing, zero motivation means it's not that easy trying to have a mental fortitude of steel.

Just quite a bit of writing before I start the OST list rolling. So why do I enjoy reading dark stuff? Now it must be stated that due to my emotional state and possible trauma resulting from my schoolyard environment seeing me as either a dirty foreigner or an equally dirty Jew, I no longer have a sense of emotional attachment to this nation. Thankfully, I got two families. One is my physical family, the other is my church. But because of my inability to express myself due to a traumatic past, there's no way I can be sure whether or not they know anything, let alone how much if the answer is a yes. I tried finding a way to know the truth of my condition. Sadly, the door was never opened in the first place.

I must point out my understanding of plot and characters comes from sites like this, this, and that. In fact, it's a miracle that I was able to get into dark fiction for a reason: I could have tried killing myself before I reached 21.

Hence, I don't regret gravitating towards the dark side of storytelling. But as a Christian, I need to set a ceiling. YouTube is the maximum limit I allow myself to touch. Yet, it must be stated that in my early 20s or a couple of years prior to the age of 20, I did read the GTO manga. If you don't know what is GTO, it's better not to know at all. I know I've upped the 2nd episode of the anime, but that one was very tame compared to most of the episodes. Not to mention the manga as well. I still like Driver's High, though.

One thing I must point out is that when I listen to songs, I pay attention to the tune. At the same time, my brain doesn't operate like a normal human being in this area. Hence, I don't expect people to understand me that easily. One thing I've learnt is this: If every person is born dysfunctional, it merely means there will be those more dysfunctional than the rest.

So is there anything good I can learn from dark fiction? Believe it or not, Walt Disney was never a teacher. The Brothers Grimm, while never correct all the time, were capable of being better teachers than those in the classroom and on the TV screen, let alone the movie screen. To say humanity and monstrosity are two sides of the same coin is never incorrect. However, we must also understand that while the world is full of tragedies, it's also filled with warmth. The former is telling us the truth, the latter gives us the strength to live in a world where the seemingly sane are capable of being more dangerous than the insane. At the same time, kind people do exist. Sadly, the same goes for scoundrels as well. Life is never a Shakespearean comedy, but there are moments where the Merchant of Venice prevailed over the odds due to the kindness of others around him. However, life is often a Shakespearean tragedy where it's either Macbeth or King Lear. Yet, we do have what it takes to decide between the choices made by Hamlet or that coming from Judah Ben-Hur. And that's why I mentioned two families instead of just one. I could have either become the Prince of Denmark or the King of Britain, but I ended up being a Jew.

So does that mean I'll quit the dark stuff? For now, my answer is no. The reason for this is also the reason why writing dark fantasy has become my second nature: I find the occasional reminder of what the real world is like truly therapeutic. At least it means people suffer because the world is all about sinners capable of trampling each other.

When it comes to writing A Requiem From Winter Past, I came to realise that being emotionally damaged beyond repair shouldn't be an excuse not to do something. This is why I decided to make certain decisions which other dark fiction writers might not do. If there's a need to portray what's wrong with humanity, I'll do so in my own way. If there's a need to portray a world where God doesn't exist, I'll do so in my own way.

A Requiem From Winter Past

Chapter 1-The Wolf And His Answer

Chapter 2-The Lion And His Dream

Chapter 3: The Maiden Fair And Her Prince

Chapter 4: Today And Yesterday

Chapter 5: Monsters, Demons, And Gods

A Requiem From Winter Past OST

Disclaimer: The music belong to the respective composers and singers. I don't own them and I'm not responsible for the videos. The track titles are what I'd envision, NOT the real deal.

1. Prologue: The Wolf, The Lion, And A Maiden Fair