Disclaimer: Views are of the blogger's own and does not (necessarily) reflect actual common-sense.

Sunday 17 June 2018

A Crucible's Lore: Wolves

Okay, John is back. Also, John isn't pumped up for any writing. Actually, John isn't feeling well. So John decided to leave his World Cup strategy/tactical posts for a later day. This post is effectively a copy and paste.

Lore: Wolves
Origin:
There are those who say the world is nothing more than a dream, something materialised by slumbering gods. Whether such people are sages or madmen, no one knows. Of all the creatures existing, there are those seen as objects of taboo. For instance, crows are associated with death. Therefore, the sight of one during any wedding ceremony is always seen as an ill omen amounting to divorce or death. Then, there are wolves. Always associated with evils of every kind, be they lesser, greater, or middling, wolves have been the fulcrum of nightmarish tales. From children devoured to maidens ravished, unto even how the world will end, these creatures have been effectively used as a deterrent to the wayward individual. Perhaps in an attempt to mock the self-righteous, there is a common saying amongst sellswords: A wolf knows best every man.

Physique:
An average wolf on fours stands at slightly below the hip level. However, larger ones are known to be at the waist level. A wolf's body weight is more than enough to overpower the average human being, its jaws used for mauling and crushing bones. Wolves tend to hunt in packs ranging from ten to slightly less than twenty, their hunger always seemingly insatiable. Yet, their endurance has always been proven exceptional, to say the least. It is said that the least of any pack can go without food and water for a day or two while the stronger ones can last in this manner for slightly less than a week. Whether this has any grain of truth remains to be seen, for the fear towards wolves knows no bounds.

Mannerism and lone wolves:
Like any beast and bird in the wild, wolves are fiercely territorial. The males do the hunting, but the females are the ones protecting the den. Every pack has three tiers of hierarchy. The leader, also known as the alpha, leads the pack. The alpha is also the only member of the pack given the right to mate and breed. As a result, the alpha male would always guard jealously every female member of the pack. The second tier is known as the beta. The role of a beta wolf serves as what a scholar would call a regent. Yet, it must be stated that the notion of a second-in-command is never existent in any pack. The alpha is the only authority in the pack. The beta's role is to take over the pack leadership in the event where the alpha is either dead or incapacitated (although the latter would always lead to the former). And that includes also the ownership over the females of the pack. The third tier is the gamma. This bottom level of the pack hierarchy refers to the rest of the pack, those who can only afford to follow the leader.

In terms of size, the alpha is always the largest and strongest. The beta will either be of the same size as the omega wolves or somewhere between the two. Either way, the beta is certainly the second strongest. To select a beta, the alpha would always call for a challenge from its own pack. Whichever member answering the call would have to prove itself by wrestling the alpha to the ground. In the event of failure, the challenger would be spared. However, that'd mean losing the right to challenge for the second time. 

Lone wolves, on the other hand, are those driven from the pack. Also known as the omega, such a wolf tends to be the survivor of any power struggle where the loser was spared from death. Unlike the selection of the beta where it is the alpha issuing the challenge, an omega is the result of a failed attempt to seize power; an act of its own doing rather than the leader's desire. In any pack, a code of honour is always practised. Strength represents two things: The right of leadership and the right of respect. For any omega, it is always the latter. But because insubordination is never an option, a rebel which has proven itself is forced to leave lest it gets attacked mercilessly by the rest of the pack.

Despite the apparent, lone wolves can easily be dangerous foes as it is even more territorial than its peers. Left with nothing apart from the will to survive, such a beast is capable of putting up a fight more stubborn than many creatures of the forest. As a result, hunters tend to shun wolves whenever they can. For neither dealing with the collective nor the individual is safe in every manner of the word.

How they hunt:
As hunters, wolves are known to be ferocious flankers. Unlike pack felines like lions and sandcats, wolves do not rely on ambush. Instead, they would chase the prey after the alpha makes a howl. Experts in terrain navigation, every pack consists of two units. The first is known as the harrier unit. Always the majority half, the harrier unit is led by both the alpha and beta. The harriers are in charge of starting the chase and going for the kill. The second is known as the flanker unit. While flankers belong to the minority half, the timing of their attack in any hunt is always crucial to success. The flankers are never tasked with killing the prey. Rather, their job is to either scatter or waylay (depending on whether the prey belongs to a group or a solitary one). Since leadership is always absolute in the pack, the flankers are only allowed to cripple the quarry with the harrier unit dealing the killing blow. In fact, scholars have recently started debating whether such an approach was the inspiration for cavalry tactics as we know it now.

Tactics:
Every hunt begins with a howl. This acts like a war horn where the call for battle can be heard by both ally and foe. To maximise the efficiency of this call to hunt, the alpha is always seen standing on the high ground. Once the pack converges below the high ground, the alpha would descend from its perch, the hunt officially commenced.

Initially, both the harriers and flankers will run as a single unit. Should the hunt be in forest terrain, their aim would be to split the flankers from the pack once they get close enough. If it is in open terrain, then the flankers would be given free reign on when to split, the decision made seemingly in unison. If the prey is pursued on rocky ground, the flankers would move ahead as the advance unit.

Habitation and cultural impact:
Although never seen in the south due to its arid climate, wolves can be seen elsewhere. In the Furthest East, they are commonly seen at plains and plateaus. The same goes for those in Slarvea although Slarvean wolves tend to have bulkier physique compared to the athletic build of those in the land of Cinhas. In the Kalaran Empire, they are the least sighted due to civilisation expanding at a fast rate. However, the Imperial Zoo still boast of a wolf or few. In the forests of Teutonia and mountains of Tamuria, there they thrive.

To the Cinhas, wolves are always hated. For they are commonly associated with avarice and political greed, two traits every Cinha detests most in any person. At the same time, Cinha superstitions have a very close association with animals where any form of contact would most likely result in the relevant reaction.

To the Tamurians, they are the symbol of individual strength and collective unity, two traits most appreciated in the Tamurian culture. As a result, Tamurians always leave behind the best portion of every kill for these creatures.

For the Causaceans, wolves are seen as more than just dangerous critters needing to be culled. On one hand, the locals know too well the nightmarish tales, their minds and hearts accepting whatever told by minstrels and boasting bards. Farmers see them as a danger to their livestock and livelihood, a reaction rightfully warranted. Whether they are the main source of the aforementioned tales remains a subject of debate among intellectuals. Due to every farmer's woes, hunters see wolves as a good chance to earn money while avoiding them if no reason for conflict can be found.

At the same time, wolves form an integral part of the Causacean culture. For instance, it is commonly said that Justicar Lleric I, the first ruler of the originally unified Causacea, was nursed by a female wolf which had lost her pups before finally adopted by a farmer's family. During his battles against the invading Tamurians and Sudhlits, he was tasked with commandeering the cavalry, his banner of choice being a howling wolf encircled by an olive wreath. In fact, the consensus among scholars is that even though there is no proof of any supernatural or emotional connection, the strategy employed by the wolves did serve as an inspiration. Justicar Eylia, the only female ruler and fourth monarch of Causacea, was known to have a wolf's nature according to the historian Skopios Tacticus, a trait used to describe a headstrong and unruly personality. Her only son, Crown Prince Loui also inherited such a trait. Unlike his mother whose wolf nature was more of a boon than a hindrance, this became the reason for his untimely death via an accident due to a dare. As a result, her husband, Consort Jak Valdis, had to protect the family via political machinations lest an untimely disaster obliterated the royal lineage. For he perceived this not to be a mere accident, but an insidious attempt by an unseen usurper.

Quotes related to wolves:
"A wolf knows best every man."
~A common sellsword saying

"The difference between a wolf and a dog lies in one not knowing itself as a selfish coward while the other understands its own reflection."
~Ziron Lapis

"I've dealt with wolves before for the sake of pay. Trust me, Aeravor. You've got a wolf nature. You remind me of someone I used to know. Her name was Eylia."
~Erik Sohren

"There are two ways to tell a person that he's screwed. One is taking an arrow in the knee. The other is entering a she-wolf's den."
~Tristan Aias

"Wrestling with a lone wolf requires two things. The first is having a knife hidden in your boot. The other? Knowing beforehand that the critter would rather die with pride than to be your pet dog."
~Every hunter's advice to a junior

"Not everyone in Teutonia likes wolves. But only an idiot would deny the kind of service they gave us. Remember Justicar Lleric the First?"
~Ser Jon Woodgeist the Young

"To be honest, I don't believe Adine will be raped by a pack of wolves. Then again, there has to be a reason why people believe in this kind of nonsense. I mean the wolves, not my daughter."
~Crocker Tayne

"May you give birth to a pup."
~A common Tamurian greeting to a pregnant woman which is also regarded as a blessing

"Let my followers and their descendants be wolves instead of just being like wolves."
~Gandr de Morte

"Wolves are selfish, greedy, and savage. Traits defining any person alive under the sun and moon."
~Brynhilda

"Tame a dog and you get a servant. Tame a wolf and you get your own death."
~A common Cinha saying

"A dog is either a coward or a loyal servant. As for a wolf, it's either an unpredictable animal or a proud beast serving no master apart from itself."
~Erik Sohren
[x]

Well, John may as well do some random rambling here. Just to fill up some more space. Recently, he saw a trailer or few. For N ages, Japan has never been doing original anime. By that, John refers to anime shows with an original plot. No manga, games, or light novels. Original script for an original anime. Needless to say, John has to thank Anthony for letting him know what is Sirius the Jaeger. And no, Anthony isn't an otter.








Some things noted by John in the trailers together with whatever info he got from the official site.

1. The vampires do sound like some sort of Darwinistic organisation. If this kind of script was done in Hollywood, chances are that it'd be chucked out of the window. By John's guess anyway.

2. The Hyakko Party sounds like some sort of far-left organisation rather than some kind of alt-right KKK. Again if this kind of script was done in Hollywood, chances are that it'd be chucked out of the window. By John's guess anyway.

3. In case anyone was wondering whether Sirius the Jaeger was done by a group of Christians, please be noted that the Japanese never give a damn to whatever red-blue divide happening across the ocean. And besides, Japan is the country with the second least Christian impact. (source of info

4. Did John spot a Nasu moment? Like how Nasu uses Christianity as a more positive form of inspiration (e.g. the Emiyas), Sirius the Jaeger mentioned the presence of an Ark. In fact, the kanji seemed to indicate this much (i.e. 聖櫃).

5. Anyone noticed a vague visage of a wolf in one of the trailers? Yeah, that blue flame moment. Is that some sort of Sirius?

6. The Jaegers do hunt like a pack of wolves even though Yuliy is the only wolf. Half-werewolf to be exact.

7. Werewolves are Asian, vampires are Europeans. It's like telling John that Abraham was Asian and Charles Darwin was a white. Hopefully, Warner Bros won't pull the plug because of what John said.

8. John's churchmates are known to be somewhat musically inclined towards classical music. The Jaegers use classical musical instrumental cases to hide their weapons. This is getting insane.

9. Yuliy's character seems to reflect that of John's. Okay, that's going way too far.

10. Yuliy is definitely a Russian/Slav. His name leaked it all like a Comey.

11. Dorothea is most likely a Latin American Hispanic rather than an Iberian Hispanic. In other words, everyone can see that she's non-white.

12. Okay, anyone predicting a romance between Yuliy and Naoe Ryoko? This is effectively a romance between two characters from two different worlds, both the outer and inner.

13. Jimmy "not Kimmel" Fallon is partly of Irish heritage. Fallon is an Irish-American Jaeger who enjoys talking. So it's not really that bad for the Democrats. After all, Sirius the Jaeger is meant to be enjoyed.

Friday 15 June 2018

The Great Iberian Bash (plus the first match)

Okay, John is back. And per promised, he's going to do some interference where Portugal versus Spain is concerned. But before that...

Let's talk about Russia versus Saudi Arabia
Was it really that bad? Or did the 5-0 score flatter the Russian hussars instead of flattening the Arabs from Saudi?
Limpeh dunno, dun ask limpeh.

To be honest, the first half was a back-and-forth in the middle 3rd with the occasional action in the final third. The Saudis were defensively good in the sense that they're fast enough to close down on any Russian having the ball. Effectively, the Saudis were sticking 2-3 men against a Russian. The plan went quite well. That's until the first goal came.

The goal might have been a result of a set piece corner, but it's not the direct route one stuff people were used to seeing. Rather, it was a crisp passing sequence on the left flank which contributed to the goal.

Was it a defensive screw-up?
No. This was a team goal involving fast short passes.

When the Arabs from Saudi conceded the first goal, you couldn't fault your neighbour for saying, "I think the second goal will be coming". The first goal rattled the Arabs from Saudi. And it took them like... more than 15 mins to regain their composure. By John's guess. 15 mins too late in a game of football. If your team needs this long of a time to recover from the shock, it means your team is most likely dead.

Then came the second goal.

Was it a defensive screw-up?
Didn't look so. Denis "not Law" Cheryshev didn't have the most ideal first half. His two most dangerous moments apart from the goal involved 2 Arabs closing him down without breaking a sweat. His goal, however, revealed composure and a great touch.

The second half proved to be an absolute nightmare. It's like Iran losing to Israel 3-0. Okay, maybe it's not that bad. After all, Israel never qualified. Anyway, the Russians seemed to have gotten more than just a whiff of blood. Before the 3rd goal, the Russians were bossing possession in front of the Saudi backline without doing much. That's until Artyom "no, he doesn't do the Zumba" Dzyuba headed in the 3rd goal.

Was it a defensive screw-up?
The marker got caught operating in auto-Tesla mode. Give how efficient the Arabs from Saudi were in terms of closing down any Russian with the ball 2 on 1, this was a disaster. Yes, it's a 1 on 1. But you could see the auto-Tesla moment nevertheless.

The 4th goal never came till the 90+1 minute. After the 3rd goal, only one person could light up the match.

It could have been this Russian Tesla girl. That's until Denis "every striker's law" Law struck again. Oops, sorry wrong channel. Scotland never qualified. It's Cheryshev.

Was it a defensive screw-up?
This was even worse than seeing Dzyuba doing a Zumba in open play BEFORE scoring. Cheryshev displayed great touch and a deft scoring foot. John won't be surprised if he's going to do that more than just twice in the tourney. But seriously, you got two defenders having their auto-Tesla moment. Let this sink in: Two, NOT one! To quote Wani who used to work in the retail pharmacy@SGH... WHAT KIND OF NONSENSE IS THIS??????

Then you got the 5th goal.

Was it a defensive screw-up?
Stalin didn't have to blow up the wall. Less said, the better.

Key takeaways
1. It's proven beyond doubt that while the Arabs from Saudi were efficient man-markers, their focus wasn't first class. While they're never guilty of throwing it for 2/3 of the match, the fact remained that they couldn't maintain what worked for them defensively.

2. John gotta admit that their reaction time in clearing loose balls was very good. However, only a moron would believe this is good enough for any team to keep a clean sheet.

3. Cheryshev proved that he can easily play in the hole 9 position. While he was used as a winger in the match, his touch and composure done twice in a row may mean something more than just sheer class. Give him a wee bit of time and a single touch can make things happen. The lad looked every bit the part of a Russian false 9.

4. Russia wasn't exactly the most adventurous team. While the team did display moments of fast passing down the flank, it seemed that Russia's Stan the Man was all about staging sudden fast attacks via the width less than half the time. This was effectively an ambush strategy employed in football.

5. Saudi Arabia may boast of having the most powerful Mohammad in the world right now. But at this rate, these birds of prey in green are going to be roasted and eaten like 11 yummy partridges. The reason why is neither the defence nor the midfield. In a team where only 2 strikers make the cut, a lack of firepower is going to roast them. Even a moron could see a fatal lack in quality up front. Ask John and he'd just say, "Prepare the fire, salt, and partridges".

People of the Match

Less than 3 hrs later (from the time John starts writing this part)
La Furia Roja will be facing A Seleção das Quinas later tonight (in Singapore time). Fernando "he's gonna be hero or zero" Hierro might have done a screw-up thrice the comedy value than whatever stunt Don T pulled off all the while. Of course, it must be noted that the lineup recorded in Livescore.com showed a different story. Knowing that Livescore.com can, at times, yank the chain of those interested in the lineup prior to kick-off. nothing is absolute until five minutes prior to kick-off.

Nevertheless, Hero-Zero Hierro will have to deal with Santo Fernando's midfield. Will it be a 4-4-2 or 4-3-3? The former means Hero-Zero Hierro will have a difficult time trying to break through the Portuguese rearguard. Santo Fernando is someone who would have no qualms in winning it ugly. 

Be it 3-man midfield or 4, Hero-Zero Hierro can only afford to do one thing: To park the attacking players against the central midfield. If Diego "El Bestia" Costa starts the game, it means this strategy is doable. If Isco starts the game, it means this match is still winnable. Ultimately, expanding the reach of the attack would be the dumbest thing Hero-Zero Hierro can ever afford to do. If the Spanish are isolated and bereft of cover in the final 3rd, the Portuguese would just bludgeon their Iberian rivals in the same way every Scot would like to do so against the English. La Furia Roja doesn't have enough fire in the belly to pin back the opponent's fullbacks and centre mids. Nothing less than a frontal assault would do if Hero-Zero Hierro wants to avoid the fate of his fellow Spaniard. Pizzi-man should understand what El Furia Funesto stands for.

P.S: John can only do up till here. John's dad is an elderly otter with idiosyncrasies capable of driving him up the wall. At this point in time, no one understands John. Let alone his dad. The noise coming from the gadgets is really a nightmare to deal with.

Wednesday 13 June 2018

The greatest art gallery (okay, it's not)

Days after John pulled this off, Ju.Lo performed the most illegal act since Sergio "the Madrid half of Super Sergio Bros" Ramos did an Asian on Mohamed "the fastest Mohamed in the world" Salah. While John has no problem with a deal being struck, the resultant Titanic was worse than the original deal. At least the original Titanic was sunk due to a case of unintentional decisions (or whatever you wanna call it). But this and that? Utterly shambolic and farcical, John must say. Utterly shambolic due to how the RFEF managed a PR crisis which shouldn't have been one. Utterly farcical because Ju.Lo pulled off the most outrageous stunt since the last Jackass movie. Even more insane than this moment of insanity below.


It's official. John has decided not to continue doing his World Cup teams posts. Instead, he is going to do something much more outrageous. From this moment, John will be doing pre-match strategy posts involving La Furia Roja. Starting with Portugal. Let's see whether an otter is smarter than a human being.

For this post, however, John decided to play the prankster by upping random memes to describe the situation right now. Before that, John wanted to up a music video. Hopefully, YouTube doesn't take it down in the name of copyright claims.


Okay. Ready. Steady. Go!




























P.S: Okay, John knows he's being too nasty with his art gallery. So here the final piece of art for all the anguished Spanish fans. An art of beauty, that is.
If it's too much for you to bear, then just focus on her beautiful visage instead of her anguished look.

Sunday 10 June 2018

Taking a break... (and hopefully this won't blow up in my face)

Right now, John is unable to process anything inside his little otter brain. Since there's only one post under the Lah Lah Land label, John may as well do the second post.

But before that...
Recent events have reminded us all how fragile life can be. First to depart was Kate Spade. Then before we knew it, Anthony Bourdain left the world as well. Ask me and I'd say I've got no problem making light/fun of my own death. After all, it's inevitable. However, I don't condone people making fun of other people's death. Why I'm saying this is very simple: This post is not meant to be any manner of insult towards the dead. Rather, this is a post comprising of songs that are... well, either more positive or more thought-provoking.

Hopefully, this post won't blow up in my face. And yes, this is John breaking character. Because this part of the post is serious business. As someone working in the hospital, I know perfectly well what it means to rub shoulders with mortality.

Note: This post will be rather short compared to something like this. I don't have to spell out the reason why.




Lyrics



Lyrics





Lyrics







P.S: Okay, that's the end of the post. Before John ends this one, he decides to up a clip.

Add P.S: Any similarity between Onizuka Eikichi and Don T is strictly coincidental. Any similarity between Chairwoman Sakurai and auntie STBC is intended as a prank. Any consequences coming from the CT-MRI people is a case of retribution.

Final P.S: GTO is rated NC16 to be safe. Because GTO and the Singaporean education system aren't exactly BFFs. Actually, they never were and never will be.

Friday 8 June 2018

From Kremlin with love Pt B [1st half] (aka World Cup 2018)

So John is now back. Now onto Pt B. But before that, John needs to protect himself with a statement of intelligence.


Now when it comes to death through blakang mati, it's NOT to be interpreted as a homophobic statement. When it comes to death by firing squad, it's theoretically possible for prisoners to be shot while their backs are facing the executioners. In reality, someone did the blakang mati death sentence before. His name was Vlad III. Also known as Impaler of Wallachia, Bram Stoker's source of inspiration, and the reinforced fact that the Slavs never liked the Germans even though they're both white.


Just don't ask me whether Sentosa used to be ruled by the Principality of Wallachia just because its original name was Pulau Blakang Mati.

Group B: Portugal, Spain, Morocco, Iran
Note: Due to realistic constraints in time, space, and actual hunger, John can only afford to do one half of Group B.

  (  )  

A Seleção das Quinas


Will Portugal do a Spain? In 2012, La Furia Roja won the Eurovision. 2 years ago, La Furia Roja won the World Cup. Under Fernando "Santo Fernando" Santos, the Portuguese team is reinvented as a team high on the organisation and not so much on individual artists. This was the reason why Les Bleus lost it at the last hurdle. If C.R Sete was the talisman, then Santo Fernando would be the one making it. It was evident that the battle of two master organisers resulted in Santo Fernando claiming a win over Didier "will it be Didier's Des Championnes this year?" Deschamps. To highlight how important was Santo Fernando, Portugal had to play the vast majority of the final match without C.R Sete. Yes, Ronaldo has a body fit for a young Zeus while his girlfriend has the figure of a goddess. But he's not literally a god, there's no way he can avoid injury. The fact that his physical limitation is the nearest thing to Wolverine is already a miracle by itself (I won't say Colossus because that'd be Casemiro).

Ultimately, Santo Fernando proved to us that his tactical understanding and organisation planning was something sorely lacking during the 1986 World Cup. Back then Diego "El Mano" Maradona took the world by storm and grabbed the English in between the legs (note: John is referring to the English male gender in this context. John is not doing this to impress Emilia "404 Jon and Daario not found" Clarke or Emma "will she be a Dr" Watson with his language skill. It's for the sake of being civil). If only Santo Fernando was there back then. Either way, Santo Fernando is living proof that while El Mano was considered a one-man(o) army during his time, the likes of Luís "so does he still eat pork?" Figo and Rui "not a Diego" Costa combined were never a match for a master tactician. Which is exactly what Santo Fernando truly is.

Strategy and tactics:
If it ain't broken, don't fix it. John doesn't expect Santo Fernando to do anything out of the blue or red. On the backline, don't be surprised if Pepe and Bruno "O Bravo" Alves will get the starting nod. Experience counts for a lot in the eyes of a coach who thinks like Santo Fernando. Portugal is now a team focused on defensive organisation and ball retention. This means experience and technique should be of a higher priority over youth and tenacity. Of course, there's a need to strike a balance. This would be where two fullbacks below the age of 30 come in. John is referring to Cédric "will he soar this year?" Soares and Raphaël "used to be as French as Varane" Guerreiro.

The former is a rightback racking up 28 caps so far while the latter is a leftback having just 5 caps short (i.e. 23). At the same time, they're at the right place at the right stage of their careers so far. Despite an abysmal season with Southampton, it could be argued that Soares wasn't exactly helped by the departure of Claude "not Makélélé" Puel. As for Guerreiro, he's definitely in safe hands in the form of Borussia Dortmund. Interestingly, Guerreiro was picked for this year's squad despite a season riddled by arrows in the knee.

The holding midfield will be where the battle shall be won or lost. This is because experience and tactical pedigree can only count for this much without cover. At the young age of 26 with a whopping 42 caps (definitely one hell of a whopper for someone below 30), William "the Conqueror" Carvalho is a favourite to start. At a whopping height of 1.9m, this guy is taller than perhaps more than half of the centreback population. As a defensive mid, he's the conqueror of them all. His physical presence shouldn't be underestimated as he can provide sufficient cover for two ageing centrebacks a centimetre or two shorter. At the age of 26, you can be very sure there will be plenty of good years left in him and plenty of fuel in his tank ready to burn.

It's very likely that Santo Fernando will opt for a 4-3-3. The logic behind this guess is very simple. You have one whopper of a defensive mid in the form of William the Conqueror. Then you have the Super João Bros. The younger one goes by the name Mário. Not to be confused by an Italian plumber created by the Japanese who jumps like a Jordan while grabbing coins like a Shylock. The older one is none other than the famous Moutinho himself. If Mário is Portugal's Luigi, then Moutinho is definitely that Mario. As a player who can operate as a ball-passing defensive mid, Moutinho can be seen as a player who gets better with age. He's already 31, but John won't be surprised if he still got plenty to offer. After all, his presence can be seen as the glue to the middle 3.

Key player:
Like him or hate him, C.R Sete is truly world class. Love him or hate him, J.Mou was right in his assessment of C.R Sete. That was before things went downhill.

As a coach, J.Mou was commenting on a player no different from an animal. As a player, said animal of a man is nothing less than a determined beast out to do things his way. After Zlatan "I retired entire nations and teams 4 teh lolz" Ibrahimović decided to retire from international football (that was after he famously sent the whole of Denmark into temporary retirement), C.R Sete is now the last player of his kind. Charismatic, driven, and a natural leader at the forefront. Over the years, he evolved from an orthodox winger to an attacking mid. As a player who can play in the two aforementioned positions, C.R Sete can also easily play either as the forward or wide forward. That makes him effectively the kind of player who can operate in four positions. His versatility is a result of hard work, constructive individualism, and very likely tactical instincts which no other player can have. J.Mou was right. C.R Sete was an animal of a man. And he still is. He's no Holloway's hamster. He's the lion of Iberia.

Enough about the flattery. They can come later if Portugal does a Spain. Or rather a reverse-Spain. Santo Fernando will need to get the best out of his lion. Against France, it was defence versus defence, counter versus counter, organisation versus organisation. In this group alone, there's a team which can capitalise should C.R Sete injure himself like a mortal man. John will come to that later. Hopefully, no one will execute an illegal technique fit for a terrorist again. Where Santo Fernando will deploy C.R Sete may easily affect the game. Out wide, he will have to run more. The team will have to slow down play more oft than not and that'd suit the team rather than the individual. Deploy him in the centre and he will grab the game in between its legs. This would suit the individual, hence benefitting the team. Ask John and he'd prefer the latter. Ask Santo Fernando and he may give a different answer.

Also, here's an interesting fact: Out of the list of strikers, only one orthodox striker is included. André "not a David" Silva is definitely young. At the age of 22, he's got the height of Goliath. As for the rest, they're actually wingers capable of operating as strikers rather than a specialised centre-forward. So will we see a Goliath blessed with the youth of David coming off the bench and steal C.R Sete's giant thunder?

Verdict: John expects Portugal to go far. Maybe even all the way to a reverse-Spain, who knows? Santo Fernando's proven pedigree as a master tactician means this much.

  (  )  

La Furia Roja


You know you're officially the most well-known man in the world under either of the two circumstances:

1. You're responsible for peace in the Korean Peninsula due to FB and the kind of analysis only the likes of Guo Jia would be capable of.

2. You turned the opponent keeper into some sort of slow loris while executing the kind of illegal technique fit for a terrorist.

The first scenario is never ever going to happen. Because it's like telling John that Claudia "unrelated to the nukes" Kim is interested in an otter who is never ever one at all. The second scenario is... well, sorta real. And John says sorta because he doesn't want to play judge and jury.

4 years ago, Diego "El Bestia" Costa was booed like some enemy of the state. Actually, he was indeed an enemy of the Brazilian state for a reason. He did the same thing Deco did last time around. And Brazil never forgot this act of treason which would have fetched the offender a death sentence called hanged, drawn, and quartered. Thankfully, the Brazilians can never be the English. Hence, Costa was never William Wallace.

Strategy and tactics:
The story of Spain so far was one of a blazing furious roller coaster. For years, Spain was called the nation of chokers. It's like Cardiff City in the days of yore.



After 2008, Vicente "El Marqués" del Bosque took over the team. In an instance, La Furia Roja became... well, John doesn't know the direct opposite of the word Furia, so let's just call the team La Roja. Because there's nothing Furia about the team from 2008 to 2014. Apart from that freak show known as the Euro 2012 final 4-0 win. That'd be like scoring a one-off date with Claudia "seriously, it's really unrelated to the nukes" Kim. 2014 was where it all ended. And rightfully so, as harsh as it sounds. There were two fatal loopholes in Marqués del Bosque's version of tiki-taka. The first one would be that he's no Pep "the most famous Pep" Guardiola, Catalan or no Catalan. The second one would be how Louis "King Louis XIX" van Gaal brutally exploited the fallacy behind the now infamous reverse tiki-taka. That was 4 years after La Roja reached the pinnacle of footballing glory (erm no, John isn't interested in coming up with another Claudia "okay, let's stop with the nukes here" Kim joke reference. He's not creative enough for a round 3). In 2010, Nigel "not Luuk" de Jong nearly committed culpable homicide in broad daylight. In 2014, the Oranje murdered La Roja in the most clockwork manner. Costa was booed as a national traitor, Arjen "he robbed opponents 4 teh lolz" Robben was hailed as a national hero, and Andrés "El Gigante" Iniesta's flashes of brilliance behind the firing line was the only silver lining for a nation totally gutted. It's like seeing Miss España working in Amsterdam for all the wrong reasons. It's really that bad. Although the Miss España part was a figure of speech.

So what was the real fatal loophole behind the reverse tiki-taka? The answer is very simple: The team lacked intensity and was guilty of overreliance on Iniesta. 11 red shirts were dominating the pitch, but the fury was nowhere to be seen. You know what this means?

The lack of attacking urgency and pace was brutally exploited. If it takes 30 passes to score 2 goals, then the only way to counter it is to use 3 passes to score a goal. Statistics can be deceiving. Especially when it comes to possession. This was the reason behind J.Mou's greatest troll job since Pito Vilanova. 30 passes are all about retaining the ball, 3 passes are all about pace and aggression. No one was telling any team to blast it like Ramos. Oops, sorry wrong channel. Ramos only blasted penalty kicks. John is talking about the English whenever the ball is in open play. Anyway, goals won't come if non-aggression is being pitted against a bus. And that's what King Louis XIX did: To park a Dutch bus in the middle and throw Marqués del Bosque under the wheels.

It doesn't matter whose bus Spain would have to face next. Enough was enough. El Marqués del Bosque lived and died by his reverse tiki-taka. In any international or continental tournaments, there will always be teams out to park a bus. It's not a question of whether it's a Dutch bus or Irish bus. It's a matter of blowing up the bus. Because only by doing so can the match be won. Unconvincing wins can steady the ship, but convincing wins can create a momentum. And momentum would be what Real Federación Española de Fútbol need the most. Out went El Marqués and in came J.Lo.

No, John is not joking here. It's really J.Lo. But not the more famous J.Lo.


Sorry to everybody. Blogspot coding is declaring war on John. The alignment is never a slight towards anybody, this John can assure the correct J.Lo. Also, his super damn sianjipua face has got nothing to do with John. Anyway, this is Julen, his last name is Lopetegui. John knows the latter sounds like laopeh der gwee. Whether he will be the laopeh to Aragonés' ahkong remains to be seen, but he's definitely unrelated to Der Gwee.

He never had the best start in his career. In fact, his greatest success was during his previous managerial stint. That was with Porto. It didn't end well. Yet, the friendlies so far did give the Spanish faithful something to hope about. Apart from the 3-3 draw against Russia, but that's quite likely a *bleep*.

As someone who coached Porto before, J.Lo is in a favourable position tactically speaking. Unlike Spanish football, Portuguese football tends to be more physical. This was what La Roja was lacking all the while! Managing the national team is a different monster to managing a domestic team. Luis Aragonés was a genius for the Spanish national team, but the swansong was anything but a good song. And therein lies the interesting part: Turkish football is also physical.

This is definitely a moment of transition for Spanish football. Unless Pep decided to commit high treason after calling time on his Man City career, Spain is surely in for another historical moment. From 2008 to 2012, Spain was experiencing a history of greatness. From 2018 onward, the nation is now facing a history of transition where the boy (i.e. tiki-taka as it is right now) must die so that the man (i.e. a more aggressive and direct philosophy) can be born. To quote Aemon Targaryen himself: "Winter is almost upon us".

Key player:
J.Lo is truly blessed to have a great team to choose from. During the Chu-Han conflict, the great general Han Xin boasted that the more men at his disposal, the better. Whether J.Lo can be like Han Xin or just a random S'porean Han depends on a group of local talents (because only local talents are legal when it comes to any national team including Singapore).

David "Der Geas" de Gea. The number one keeper in Europe right now (although Akinfeev would want to contest such a claim). He is the geas of every striker, midfielder, defender, and even Peter "not Kasper" Schmeichel. His awesome saves could have saved Ned Stark from death. Don't believe John?

He's that awesome. Even more awesome than Gandalf before he turned white. J.Lo needs him to hold the fort. Thankfully, Spain isn't Man Utd in the same way J.Mou isn't Pep.

Sergio "the Catalan half of the Super Sergio Bros" Busquets. Say what you want or like about him. From the strategic point of view, J.Lo needs him. To ensure the aggression won't be lost, it's important for the team to have a dependable defensive mid. Busquets is the best bet for the job with 102 caps even before he hit 30 (i.e. he's 29). The reason why he's so infamous as one half of the Super Sergio Bros is due to his history when he was young and dangerous like Chan Ho-nam roaming around in Causeway Bay. Together with his bro Ramos, they were effectively picking up red cards like two lotharios picking up señoritas. As time went by, the Super Sergio Bros mellowed quite a bit. Okay, maybe not that quite a bit considering the illegal technique and something about a slow loris. La Roja needs his experience, aggression, and ball retention skill if it desires to be La Furia Roja once again.


The last amigo on the list may well be J.Lo's trump card. This is Isco, the disco of the team and the offensive Cisco system of the tournament. In the recently concluded domestic season, he played the upstart to C.R Sete and GB11. Le Professeur X trusted him. Cisco Isco Disco never failed to impress his boss. To understand why he may well be the revelation of the tournament, one must understand his playing style.

His willingness to share the defensive duty in a deep-lying position under Carlo "Signore Milan" Ancelotti's watchful eye developed him into the kind of tactical player capable of assuming the false 9 role. Even though his pace is never at the level of C.R Sete and GB11, his quick feet and equally quick brain should mean La Furia (?) Roja is able to transit defensive organisation into offensive momentum anywhere across the pitch. 4 years ago, the Germans had Thomas "Der Ninja" Müller. Fast forward 4 years later and there's Isco.

Verdict: How far La Furia Roja can go depends on J.Lo's choice of attacking wide players. Play it too passive and history risks repeating itself (plus more than just a random bus). With two ageing thoroughbreds in the form of Iniesta and David "not just any Silva" Silva, J.Lo needs to decide whether to utilise Isco and/or Koke instead. As for Diego "El Bestia" Costa, he's definitely going to be a starter. After all, Portuguese football is indeed more physical than its Spanish counterpart. Just don't ask John whether the Turks are more physical than the whole of Iberia.

Next up: Morocco, Iran, Peru, and that nation responsible for Foster's Lager, XXXX, and some Aussie dude called Alex.

Tuesday 5 June 2018

From Kremlin with love Pt A (aka World Cup 2018)

Guys and gals, John is now fulfilling his promise (?) here. In eight posts, John will be doing a bit of strategy/tactical dissecting of this year's World Cup@Sochi. Fans of Sir Sean "greatest Bond ever" Connery should know where this post title came from. As for other fans of James Bond, there's Putin.


Group A: Russia, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Uruguay

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Сборная
John has to say Russia's fortune in global football is a reflection of Andrey "not Tatarinov" Arshavin. During 2008 (if John remembers correctly), Arshavin single-handedly destroyed the opposition. Was it 4 goals or 3? Either way, John's fur was in a state of standing ovation when he heard the Slavic cheerleading brigade chanting Arshavin's name non-stop in what was the greatest moment of Slavic unity since the Bolshevik seized power like Le Usurpateur himself.

Fast forward to now and what does the world see? Russia is currently stuck in a rut otherwise known as number 66 in the FIFA ranking while Arshavin is still playing in a nation made famous by a Jew. Brutal jokes aside, it's a gutting end to an otherwise glorious start. Ofc they always like to say it ain't over till the fat lady sings. For Russia, there's a need to prove this saying to be 100% accurate.

John took a look at the recent friendly results involving the iconic nation of the Slavs. Suffice to say, it's not exactly the kind of stuff which would get the fans fired up. At this rate, tennis will become the no.1 sport for the people to tune in to. At least there's Maria "the supernova of Russian women tennis" Sharapova. Never mind the fact that she's taken off the shelf.

Strategy and tactics:
Ever wondered how the Slavs ride their horses? With ferocity and verve definitely. In case any of John's fellow S'poreans are snickering, this has got nothing to do with the Dothraki. Although both the fictional and non-fictional are masters of light cavalry warfare. By John's guess anyway. And speaking of cavalry, be it light or heavy, John will have to talk about the midfield. If the defence is the rearguard and the forwards being the vanguard, then the midfield has to be the cavalry linking up between the two. Two Slavs may be key to how far this year's hussar brigade can ride in their motherland Russia: Yuri "different person and gender from Sakazaki Yuri" Zhirkov and Daler "pretty sure he doesn't own Daler-Rowney since the Brits never said anything" Kuzyayev.

Effectively, Zhirkov and Kuzyayev have a common trait as footballers. And that is the ability to slow down play and hold down the ball out wide. The former is a veteran when it comes to defensive play (i.e. Zhirkov is arguably more famous as a leftback even though he can operate on the left wing as well) while the latter can play either as a right midfielder or in the central position. John looked at the squad list and only 3 strikers are included in Daniel Craig's list. In other words, it's a no-brainer that Russia will be going for a lone striker formation. While it's possible a 4-2-3-1 will be on the cards, John won't be surprised if 4-3-3 will be Stanislav "will he be Russia's Stan the Man?" Cherchesov's preferred choice. 3 mids sitting flat near the back 4 means a four by three defensive approach instead of the four by two version made famous by the Germans. While John couldn't be sure whether Zhirkov will get the nod, Kuzyayev's shirt number should give the neutrals and haters (because no one would back a team stuck at rank no.66 unless he/she is a Slav proud to be a Russian) a decent idea on the deployment: 7.

Ultimately, John's guess will be Cherchesov opting for either a two-man ball anchor at the offensive width or Kuzyayev being the designated guy for the job. The ball anchor part is very important because that'd most likely affect the pace of Russia's offensive play. Will they play it safe or will they channel their inner Vlad by unleashing the Wallachian cavalry?

Key man:
No, not Johnny Blaze. Rather, it's Johnny's blazing BFF Igor Blaze. John still remembers Akinfeev at his best. Trust John, that guy's unplayable once he's in cat mode. Modern football has seen its own fair share of game-breaking keepers. You have Jorge "El Gato" Campos from Mexico. Then more recently, there's Manuel "his hands are as fast as Pacquiao" Neuer. Timeline wise, you'd have Akinfeev wedged in-between.

The goal area is very important for Russia. It's not just where games are lost, drawn, or won. For Russia, it's also about building up play via goal kicks. Some guy called Chanov once said Akinfeev's goal kicks could take flight like Hawkeye's arrows. Well, sorta anyway.

Prediction: Group A has to be easy for Russia. As the host nation, the Russian Slavs drew the better card from the deck. Or rather, it should be the case. For Russia, failure to progress beyond the group stage isn't exactly the kind of disaster that will make the RFS start scrambling for foreign talents in Kazakhstan. The local talents should be good enough. Unfortunately... well, just look at the team below.

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الصقور الخضر
There's a reason why John upped the image of the most powerful man in Saudi Arabia right now. Rumours had it that he died. The most powerful man in Saudi Arabia then displayed his power once again. This time, it's him versus House Bin Laden and vice versa. And you think it's only Iran, Houthis, and most likely the greatest nuke wheel-and-deal after North Korea.

Saudi Arabia is now raising eyebrows and ire with all the social reforms going on right now. But what about the football? Currently, the falcons in green are only one rank lower than Russia. In other words, Russia won't have it easy. Conversely speaking, the same goes for the Arabs of Saudi.

In Asia, four nations tend to stand out from the rest. The first is Japan. No, it has got nothing to do with Aragaki "not #TeamGakiNoTsukai" Yui being single, available, and a problem to the society. The second one is South Korea. No, it has got nothing to do with 12th of June and Claudia Kim denuking. The third one would be Iran. And yes, John is very sure the Grand Ayatollah is currently sniggering at the fact that Iran is now at no.36 in the FIFA ranking compared to Saudi's 67.

Together with Saudi Arabia, one can call them the Ferocious Five of the Asian continent. What they lack in reputation and technique, they made up for it in terms of tenacity. Even though Japan is the most technically refined team out of the five, it must be stated that Japanese men are most likely shorter than Aragaki "not #TeamGakiNoTsukai" Yui since she's like only 0.01 short of being 1.7m tall. In other words, the samurais from the East still must deal with opponents like a squad of ninjas.

Strategy and tactics:
Back to the Arabs from Saudi. A look at the current list would make you go like 😲😱😭. If you think Russia was crazy to include only 3 strikers, then the Arabs from Saudi would shock you right at the very core. Rub your eyes and clean your specs: Only 2 strikers are on the list.
If Elmo can pengsan, so can you...
I'm pretty sure it's not that easy for a Muslim to pengsan after fasting. But seriously... only two? This is even crazier than some "stop at two" birth policy dictating the social norms for N years!

It's evident what the Arabs from Saudi are going to do. They're not going to do it like a pride of lions from Persia. But fight with individual and collective pride, that they surely will. Their coach is none other than Juan Antonio "think Peter Lim threw him a pizza" Pizzi. Local S'poreans may not know who he is, but John is very sure the correct Lim family does. In other words, he used to manage Valencia until something happened behind the closed doors of Los Che office. Maybe his boss really threw him a pizza. Maybe his boss wasn't that Fergie after all even though his daughter supports Man Utd. [Correction in the name of journalism and Park "definitely a better Park-Choi than the original" Shin-hye's character in Pinocchio: Fergie never threw the pizza like a boss.]

So what will Pizzi-man do? His strategy should be very easy to guess by now: 4-5-1. If he shows everyone a 4-2-3-1, it's still a 4-5-1. Don't let your eyes fool you, don't let yourself go pengsan just because there's a difference on paper between 4-2-3-1 and 4-5-1. Five-man midfield lockdown is still a five-man midfield lockdown, be it 5 blokes straight or three by two.

Key man:
Is there a difference between Mohammad and Muhannad? John has to say the answer is yes. Nothing to do with the most powerful Mohammad in the world (?) right now, but rather it's a question of whether it's two Ms or one M. This has got nothing to do with the son of another Mohamad bossing Malaysia right now as well. Rather, who will get the nod as the starting striker? Will it be Al-Sahlawi or Assiri? Going by the jersey number, it's very likely to be Al-Sahlawi. His shirt number? 10.

Prediction: This group is dodgier than it looks. At least for the host nation. It will be a tough fight. John expects nothing less than 1-0 every 90 minutes. If this sounds familiar to the faithful amigos of Estadi de Mestalla, it's because of Quique Sánchez "the 1-0 amigo" Flores.

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الفراعنة‎

John hopes the Liverpudlians on display in this vid were not serious with what they sang. It's like someone saying "I want to be a Christian because John is one, he's such a genius in tactics and strategy like Sima Yi, and he even got a Tesla girlfriend resembling someone from Dynasty Warriors!" Not every successful person is a Christian. Likewise, not every world-class player is a Muslim. But is the fastest Mohamed in the world a Muslim? The answer is yes. And because of that, you can be very sure he's fasting right now. This message is for the Liverpudlians in the vid btw.

Should the most powerful general in Egypt declare war on Sergio "the Madrid half of the Super Sergio Bros" Ramos over a technique so illegal, only a terrorist would consider it as legal? While John is not going to play both the judge and jury, John has to admit that... well, the Egyptians are most likely gutted like Loris "an accident turned him into a slow loris, it seemed" Karius. John will come to Spain later on. And no, he won't castigate Ramos because this is neither the state court nor supreme court. Let alone an apex court.

Strategy and tactics:
Despite the injury, Salah was included in Egypt's squad. Depending on the outcome, this will either be the most heroic moment since Emiya Shirou gimped Gilgamesh in (and with) Unlimited Blade Works or... well, it can end up a national disaster the proportion of Titanic hitting an iceberg. In fact, Dejan "he got a kid" Lovren backed the fastest Mohamed in the world to make the fastest comeback in football history.

The Egyptian national team is currently at 46 in the FIFA ranking (John can't help but wonder whether Putin has anything to say about his motherland's current FIFA ranking). John doesn't have an idea when it comes to how Egypt will power its tanks for 90 minutes.

Key man:
You have the fastest Mohamed in the world. Then you have another Mohamed. Namely, Mohamed "not the fastest Mohamed in the world" Elneny. John has to point out his presence for a reason. Never mind how good or crap he was last season with Les Gunners. El Emerytes is now the profesor (no, you're not seeing it wrong. That's the Spanish word for professor in the same way professeur is the French word for professor). What is vital right now is this: Assuming Salah can play, the team needs another Mohamed to ensure the fastest Mohamed in the world can roast the opposition like a Ra. So yes, every Ra needs an Anubis. Elneny (assuming he will start) needs to shoulder the task of stabilising the back and slowing down the play so that Salah can do what he does best. And that is being the fastest Mohamed in the world.

Prediction: Let's wait to see whether the fastest Mohamed in the world will take the field. That'd require 15th of June instead of 5th June.

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La Celeste
At 17, Uruguay is no girl waiting to be bedded once she reaches 18. Rather, 17 refers to Uruguay's ranking. This means one thing: Russia is officially the second lowest ranked team in the group with Saudi Arabia being the lowest ranked one. Much to the amusement of Iran, quite obviously. John means the Saudi Arabia part, not Russia.

As a veteran in international tournaments, Uruguay enters the group stage as hot favourites. Definitely as hot a favourite as the (stereo)typical Latin American girl.

Strategy and tactics:
Óscar "not George Washington" Tabárez is a real tactical maestro. If the likes of Luis "he doesn't join the other side like Figo" Suárez and Edinson "El Caballería" Cavani are responsible for the goals, then Tabárez is responsible for the results. Uruguay is blessed with players of tenacity and technique. If Gastón "El Bello Bestia" Ramírez can be omitted from the call-up, you know that's because Tabárez knew what he's doing unlike the most famous chant in English football that goes like "you don't know what you're doing!" So now comes the 100 million dollar question: Will Tabárez start with a three-striker lineup?

The squad list looks rather even to John. Not every team can afford to include 5 forwards in the squad list because not every team can afford to be like Brazil. But Uruguay did include 5 of them. One of which goes by the name of Cristhian "not a Ronaldo" Stuani. To be honest, Stuani's time with John's beloved Boro was a story of few joys and many trials. When he got sold to Girona, something happened. Not only was he enjoying his top flight football once again, he scored a whopping 19 goals out of 30 appearances. Compared this to his days at Boro and... well, it's only 11 goals out of 59 appearances. If Tabárez decides to start with 3 strikers, will Stuani stun the opposition like what he did for Girona 19 times?

Tabárez is now being faced with the best strategic dilemma any coach would like to have. Namely, should he go for 4-2-3-1 or 4-3-3? The latter may indicate a more direct approach with 3 attacking players and 3 midfielders playing it up. It sounds simple, but it's very dangerous. Not for the Uruguayans but the opposition. John is convinced that there's fuel aplenty left inside Suárez and Cavani. This is already scary enough. Suárez is the fighter while Cavani is the wizard. If it's 3 strikers, maybe Stuani will get a chance to stun the opposition again. Who knows?

4-2-3-1, on the other hand, is more defensive. More about keeping the ball, starving the wolves, and letting them loose once Tabárez the beastmaster gives the command. However, 4-2-3-1 will also create an interesting question for this Óscar Wily: How is he going to strike a balance between utilising his strikers and midfielders?

Key man:
The media always enjoy lauding the heroes. However, John doesn't like to follow the crowd. If someone says there are more dogs than people in Singapore, that's because he/she never saw a wolf before. A wolf is never a dog even though it may act like one in order to survive. But to follow the crowd? Hell no.
This is Diego "The Godín of Steel" Godín. You can call him the Godín of Steel. He's no Maradona, but you can be very sure he's anything but a primadonna. See the tooth in the picture above? Yeah, that belongs to him. No one told to lose it, not even the tooth fairies in Hellboy. No one messes with the Godín of Steel.

Los Rojinlancos is a very interesting team. This is a team famous for the Diegos. Los Diegos or Diegos Tres, it doesn't matter. You have Diego the commander, Diego the beast, and this Diego. All three are renowned scrappers and brawlers. Óscar Wily needs a Deigo to ensure Uruguay can progress as far as possible. Not just any Diego, but this Deigo. As the team captain, the Godín of Steel is in the perfect position to enable Uruguay breaking down play and to recycle it from the back. If the defenders are the non-fictional equivalent of Helm's Hold, then the Godín of Steel is the non-fictional twin of Hornburg.

Prediction: Uruguay will go far, John is convinced this much. Cup tournaments tend to favour late surges, so that'd play into Óscar Wily's hand. This is a coach who is more of a pragmatist and far less an idealist. As for the Godín of Steel, he needs to be at the top of his game in terms of leading and organising from the back.

Next up: Pt B