It all started with Elish

This is a post of self-dare (i.e. ownself dare ownself). I was bored and see what was trending in Google. The difference between using a smartphone (no, it doesn't make me any smarter and I'm thankful for that) and the PC is that smartphones do reveal the trending topics in your local Google search engine. Imagine my surprise when one of them happened to be "billie eilish met gala". Being the curious human being I've always been, I decided to see what's the big deal. All I can say is this: Singaporean guys are likely the same as American ones. I'm a guy and therefore I know what I'm talking about.

In case you're asking what's the big gala deal about Billie "not Enuma" Eilish's Met Gala appearance in the eyes of Singaporeans, search and figure this out yourself. I'm not about to do it for you.

Yes, I'm mad bro...

Aristotle once associated madness with genius. While this may pose some serious problems for my country, I'll be the first person to say I'm not a genius unless my country has been lying to me. In other words, I'm not a genius although I know my capabilities. Long story short, the looney in me decide to play a game of ownself dare ownself.

So what was the dare? Try to do a blog post NOT inspired by a lass of nineteen winters but Enuma Elish.

Dude, I only heard of Billie Eilish! Enuma Elish? Never heard of it

I'm very sure some know both Billie "not Enuma" Eilish and Enuma Elish, so let's not talk about others who only know one and not the other. I'll be brutally honest here: How I know about Enuma Elish was due to the Fate/stay night series. But one thing led to another. That's how I knew the real Enuma Elish.

Also written as Enūma Eliš (possibly that's the original spelling), it was the Babylonian version of Genesis (yes, laugh at me for all you want because I got nothing to lose by saying this). Interestingly, Enuma Elish seemed to be associated with the oldest literature in human history. Namely, The Epic of Gilgamesh.

Clearly, either I'm too lazy to do an explanation or I'm not a PhD student like my friend Claudia. Therefore, I'll just link the contents of Enuma Elish.

So what this post is all about?

It's actually a rambling post leading to nowhere. However, there's a topic. Namely, A Requiem From Winter Past. As a Singaporean, I know there's no chance in hell I'll ever get published. My work is an act of rebellion against the local Singaporean market. Names like Kevin "unrelated to Guan Yu unless proven by science" Kwan and Kyla "unrelated to Zhao Yun unless proven by science" Zhao could get their works published because they knew the right moves to make. Status, if you're to ask me, is secondary. For me, I admit I don't write to please people. Maybe, just maybe, I could get published if I'm Japanese. But that's it.

A/N: Interestingly, how many of you actually know a guy called Dazai Osamu and his work Ningen Shikaku? The dude clearly didn't write that to please people. Also, I'm still wondering how Oda Sakunosuke managed to anger the Japanese government when Japan was too busy bombing Singapore and other countries. I don't know what's the big political deal about Seishun No Gyakusetsu if you're to ask me. Refer to 1939 only if you understand kanji. And don't ask me whether he's a descendant of Oda Nobunaga.

Gilgamesh, Gilgash, and Jinn

In my earliest script, there was a hero whose name was Jin Gilgash. Now that's a horrible way to name a character and let me tell you why: Ever tried modifying your fanfic into original fiction as if you're the next E.L "50 pairs of Shades" James? I actually read somewhere that the most famous (?) erotica literature of the 21st century started as a Twilight fanfic entitled Master of the Universe (no He-Man jokes please).

Jin Gilgash belonged to the same category. The name was badly done and I had to do something about this. Some kinda Total Recall, that is.

This was where I needed to make changes. Yet, I wanted to retain a certain "Gilgamesh" feel since the King of Heroes happened to be my intended inspiration for said hero's name. This was where the last name el-Lish hailed from. Again, let me stress this got nothing to do with a girl called Billie Jean King. Instead, it's inspired by Enuma Elish.

This comes to another change. One thing about the fantasy genre is that there's no such thing as a POC protagonist. Myth or fact? I don't know, but the planning process resulted in Jinn el-Lish being a POC. This comes to mind the question of Jinn. Why Jinn? Are we talking about an East Asian character? After all, the word Jin can be used in Chinese, Japanese, and Korean.

Note that I used Jinn instead of Jin from the BTS fame. Jinn is a real word. In Arabian mythology, two prominent names would be there: Djinn and Efreet. Those growing up rolling the die in Dungeons And Dragons, white guy or not, would know what I'm talking about. Like efreet also known as ifrit, the djinn is also called jinn. And that's where I got the name Jinn from. Not East Asian or BTS but Arabian mythology.

This comes to the next part...

Tamurians, Arabs, and... Ainu?!?

Tamurians are originally intended to be my version of the Malay ethnicity. As a member of the racial majority in Singapore, I decided not to rescind my act of racial blasphemy. However, Tamurian naming did undergo a certain change. Initially, Jinn wasn't intended to be a POC. The POC part came as an outcome of a serious change to a dumb mistake. This resulted in another domino block falling down. Namely, the transition of the Tamurian naming system from a Malay-centric approach to the Arab-centric version today.

I need to search my past blog posts to verify whether the current version is El/el for men and Al/al for women. But you get the drift. Interestingly, I decided not to go full Arab here. The naming system is closer to the Ancient Near East feel rather than the descendants of Ishmael. But because I'm no scholar or Claudia's PhD schoolmate, I have to rely on the feel of the deal. This is where my artistic instincts kick in. I can't explain to you how it works because I don't even know how it works. All I know is that it works. Well, sort of since I require some actual Ancient Near Eastern names to create something.

But because I'm more familiar with how Malay names flow instead of Akkadian or Sumerian, I decided to mess around with things. All in the name of creativity like how others mess with people in the name of social experimentation spelt in German. A prominent example would be a female character named Roshamahat (I need to think over my choice of her last name). This is a combination of Malay and The Epic of Gilgamesh. The first syllable is a common sight in Malay naming from Rosmah to... well, any Malay name starting with Ros. The remaining syllables were inspired by Shamhat, a vital female character in The Epic of Gilgamesh and an important woman in Enkidu's life.

As for the Ainu influence, it actually came much later. It wasn't from the beginning that I realised there's something not right with my facial features. In fact, sometimes I now suspect the reason why I had no friends was that I don't look Singaporean. Instead, I resembled more like half an Ainu even though I didn't realise they're 100% real back then. Yes, I knew Nakoruru and Rimururu of the Samurai Shodown fame. But that's it.

The Ainu facial features can be very interesting. While at first glance they're related to ethnicities like Indo-Aryans or Turkic, not all of them resemble your local ang-moh gentleman dating a local Singaporean girl. One thing I noticed in Ainu men is that their jawline can range from the well-chiselled kind synonymous with Caucasians to a smoother shape similar to a Persian. As for the women, it's predominantly roundish like Maru. Anyway, I did a Google image search and compared them with the facial features of an Ainu girl named Asirpa. On top of being more culturally accurate than Hollywood, Golden Kamuy is also spot on where Asirpa's facial shape is concerned.

That's where I zeroed in. Initially, I intended Tamurian women to have heart-shaped faces. Going through images of Ainu women and using my brain, I made the jawline... well, Ainu. Albeit it's likely inaccurate and equally over-patronising. I wouldn't be surprised if women of Turkic ethnicity also have this kind of facial shape, though.

A/N 1: When I say Turkic, it means I didn't say Turkish. But they're related terms though.

A/N 2: Come to think of it, little Shannah reminded me of Maru when she's a toddler. Hope KBS 장로 won't execute me for saying that about his younger daughter.

Homosexual characters and why you shouldn't assume inclusivity

As a guy of creativity, I'm not above creating homosexual characters. As a guy of creativity, however, I do commit mistakes. Writing A Requiem From Winter Past actually involved dumb mistakes and having to learn from them. One of the most notable acts of idiocy would be using Park "The Force is strong with this Park-Choi pair" Shin-hye as the physical blueprint for Alestrial Eliaden. While this wasn't a historical first, using someone else to justify an act worthy of seppuku is... well, an act worthy of seppuku. I just don't want to go into the specifics. Seriously, I don't.

For Lukas Broun, I allowed the impetuous fire of youth to consume me. Less than ten years ago, I knew less than ten times what I know today. I'm a method learner for a reason: I was taught the importance of learning but no one taught me how to learn. As a result, either I learn by making mistakes or I can be an idiot until I die by not making mistakes. It's not my parents' fault though since they're being manipulated by the social Darwinian values of the educational system. They're ignorant, but not guilty. Of course, things aren't that bad as in I still can learn without making mistakes. It's just that certain things broke and I can't maintain consistency as a result. I really have to thank my church because I could have been more than ten times worse off.

Back to Lukas Broun. In the earliest draft, he was portrayed as an idealistic youth. After all, who doesn't like such a character? Be you SJW or part of the moral majority, you'd love an idealist instead of Emiya Kiritsugu. It's actually a good thing I didn't need a disastrous Battle of Mikatagahara to sober me up. But the stupidity was real and I made the right call to create a darker Broun.

This comes to the question of whether realism is a form of idealism. Inclusivity is widely celebrated in Hollywood because it is idealism. And idealism is the opposite of realism. It's an over-simple way of explaining how things work, but it's a good stepping stone to understand how reality functions instead of having others tell you how it works. Creating homosexual characters initially felt tricky to me. The reason being that whether people will mistake my realism for a hemisphere's worth of idealism.

That's where Borat came into the picture. The issue with Borat when it was released was never about whether it's anti-Semitic. If you think otherwise, that's because the media never stated the guy responsible for a supposedly anti-Jewish movie happened to be a Jew instead of Osama bin Laden. Sacha "The Baron Who Trolls Like This" Baron Cohen is a Jew. Therefore, how can a Jew produce an anti-Jewish work?

An appalling episode of people jumping the gun actually emboldened me to try jumping from one cliff to another. The reason why being this: Realism is my intention. If you want to cram inclusivity down my throat, know that I function more like an arrogant Japanese than an idealistic American. The world doesn't revolve around my whims, but this also means it doesn't revolve around your politics.

Shakespeare shaking things up?

In the previous scripts, I opted for non-Shakespearean names for some of my characters. Then things changed. While I don't recall a single male character, it's very true for female characters. I don't want to go in-depth on why I decided to utilise my inner Shakespearean wannabe because it's quite frankly a complicated affair. But I find there's a need to change certain things and Shakespearean names come to mind. Currently, only three Shakespearean names are used: Ophelia from Hamlet, Hermia from A Midsummer Night's Dream, and Cressida from Troilus and Cressida. However, I'm intending to add a fourth. Hopefully, I can get the next chapter out since I got like 60-80% of the stuff done in my head.

Now I know there are plenty of intellectual activists critiquing Shakespearean works so let me just point out that if a female character was to be a victim, it's because the world was cruel. I'm not encouraging a victim mentality, but I believe understanding a cruel world is better than denying the factual. A victim's suffering is proof of what's wrong with human nature. This is my understanding of Ophelia's character. She's a victim but she didn't deserve it. On one hand, it's Hamlet's fault. On the other, it's the fault of a cruel world both happened to be in. Ironically, Hamlet's death was the strongest proof of Ophelia's innocence.

This comes to mind whether Aeravor happened to be an intentional Prince of Denmark (i.e. not this one). The answer is no. It's a coincidental clicking of the gears than anything else. When I decided to use Shakespearean-inspired names, I had to think about which ones would fit the bill. In the current updated version, only two. This means I'm motivated to find ways and means to make the remaining one or two matter instead of a Great Bird Kamuy's whims. Maybe I'll fail, though.

Napishtim, Deis, and... Berserk?!?

Believe it or not, I'm no stranger to a morally wrong church culture. I don't want to go in-depth because I understand myself better than other people even though I'm unable to do so 100%. They say you are what you speak, I say I am what you speak. Those who spent their lives talking at another person always risk creating another Fool of Owari. So no, I don't want to start insulting people because I know what I'm capable of.

It was from the truth (note that I never say my truth) that the idea of a literally underground church surfaced. The typical underground church is persecuted for doing nothing wrong. Look at nations where religious liberty is non-existent and tell me how many Christians were charged for rape or murder. Their only crime was worshipping God instead of Caesar.

The idea of Napishtim hailed from The Epic of Gilgamesh where there's a character called Utnapishtim. He happened to be the Sumerian version of Noah. However, it's a terribly stupid idea. This comes to an alternative: Deis. Inspired by the word deism, I find it a better fit since the philosophy of deism is that God can't be bothered. This is an actual belief of 404 God Not Found. Why 404 God Not Found? Because God can't be bothered to appear. You may think it's funny, but it is not. You may think I'm joking, but I am not.

One thing I made sure about the world I created is that it has to be dark. Another thing is the 404 God Not Found logic which notable works of Japanese dark fiction are known for. Therefore, everyone and every system must be subjected to the same standard. Deis is no exception.

In earlier scripts, Napishtim/Deis was created as a massive underground city. There were influences of the medieval church where things got ugly, dark, and political before Martin Luther started confronting the authorities. Not with a speech but the Ninety-Five Theses. Not with the Civil Rights Movement but the Reformation. I won't deny the location was a parody of what went wrong in a church culture where people have too much instead of just plenty. I did think about it, weigh the decision, and decide to let it stay. It's not an intentional parody but it'd be good if people can be provoked to think instead of repeating 6th January 2021.

This comes to an interesting question: Am I going to totally vilify Deis? As much as I hate what is evil, I must acknowledge what is real. Namely, the men of Nineveh were no more sinful than Jews and citizens of Sodom alike. Also, I have no intention to create monsters out of characters or institutes just because I don't like certain things.

I can only say this much. Speculate for all you want.

In what name am I doing this?

Magic swords, magic spears, and equally magic katanas... okay, the last one is ten stretches too long. In the beginning, I was under too much Nasuverse influence. So much so that I need to do something about it. There are two ways to do it: Either create my own language like Tolkien or come up with another way. Clearly, I chose the latter because I'm just a lazy mundane hack.

My decision to utilise actual mythology remains. This is because it's easier for me to come up with the new names based on the actual blueprint. This is where Voldermort comes to mind. Now I don't care about what J.K "not joking" Rowling did to anger evangelicals or what she said to anger liberals. As for the cancel culture, that thing can burn forever for all I care. Anyway, the major challenge lies in whether I can maintain consistency. Not in terms of naming but rather using actual mythological weapons as the blueprint. It's definitely a gauntlet I relish taking up.

Crazy Rich Asians

Another moment qualifying me as a crazy poor Asian would be Cinha. I don't want to speculate whether I was accidentally being a racist (i.e. there's no such thing as an accidental racist unless socio-political rules decide to lie). But the name Cinha was from a fictional nation called Cina. The said work was from Fictionpress and I admit I should have tried harder in the creative department.

Thankfully, my natural curiosity ensured things could be salvaged. If not, I'd be called a plagiarist. This was where Yaguryeo came into the picture. It's a combination of two words: Yayoi and Goguryeo. My idea of an East Asian counterpart has never been based on being Chinese, never mind the fact (?) my facial features look weirdly Japanese. Rather, my intent was to pull off a unification albeit not like Liu Bang, Tokugawa Ieyasu, or Seondeok. To be honest, it's not 100% done. Character naming-wise, I've already settled on a combination of ancient Japanese (i.e. examples given here) and Korean. This left only the architectural style unaccounted for. I don't have to tell you where I'm heading here.

Viva La Raza

How do you create a character? More specifically, how do you create an anti-heroic protagonist? It's very easy to create one while trying absurdly hard not to offend people. Storytellers are not meant to be teachers. While I believe in integrity displayed in creativity (something which a lot of people would call me a barking mad Israelite for), this merely means educators should display an actual semblance of integrity while the same goes for parents. If more people actually takes this seriously, we wouldn't be seeing that.

When I first created Aeravor, I never intended him to be... well, that extreme. It's like trying to creating a Steve "Texan not born in Austin" Austin only to create an Eddie "I don't care if you like me, everybody wants to fight me" Guerrero. Actually, it's more like a 2-in-1. But I guess that's what an anti-hero should look like. If you're out to win the popularity contest, create a heroic protagonist. If you don't care about public opinions, create an anti-heroic main character. After all, this isn't Japanese politics where even I find it easier to accept the popularity of Kono "not Jiro" Taro. Of course, I don't have to agree with him on everything.

Suffice to say, the current version is so much better than what I did from day one. Sure, he's more offensive. But that's what I want. I don't want to create a pseudo-sellsword. I want to create a real one. I don't want to create an anti-heroic paragon of morality. I want to create a character whose honesty can offend you because you know you're never that honest. Anyone can create a character telling so-called his/her truth. I'm out to create characters telling the truth of the world they're in.

In this sense, I'm possibly as crazy as loonies like Isayama "Hametus no Hajime" Hajime, Ishida "unrelated to Mistunari unless proven by science" Sui, Hirano "unrelated to Aya" Kouta, Urobuchi "The Notorious UBG" Gen, and... yes, you've guessed it... Miura "ドラゴン殺し" Kentaro.

If you managed to reach this far...

Then I have to say congratulations. It means you have what it takes to communicate with a madman. Either that or you happened to have the temperament of Oai. To be honest, I don't expect this post to be... well, coherent. If it makes sense, good. Otherwise, I'll just end this post with a few works of great music as compensation.

Before that, I decided to up a song which should be famous by now. While I don't recall Claudia being a BTS Army girl, I remember her as a Coldplayer.

P.S to Ryan and Ah-Hean: Please don't say anything. I'm very sure someone will kill me if you decide to talk. It's only going to be a matter of the surname.

Okay, now to showcase my taste.

Miura Kentaro, Thanatos Gambit, and why we may actually see Berserk 100% complete

Not so recently, I came across news of a fellow Singaporean called Kyla "unrelated to Zhao Yun unless proven by science" Zhao. Despite the manner I express myself, it's good to see a fellow Singaporean making the news for the right reason. Trust me, the last thing I ever need is another university student getting probation for something that should have got the fellow jailed. Allow me to take a break for a while.

Okay, I'm back. Anyway, here's a foreign talent's advice to every local talent.

Spoiler: I eat my sunny-side-up eggs like Conan's fellow Cimmerian bro instead of Frontline Bro's fellow Singaporean bro. No joke. And it's always egg first whenever it's stuff like mee goreng, SG nasi lemak, or nasi goreng.

So why did I up a video involving a foreign talent bloke whose name happened to be Jack "not Figs" Grapes? Because Miura Kentaro may have facilitated the most stunning post-death moment in recent human history. Recently, Miura-sensei's final piece of insane creativity made the news. More specifically the actual identity of the moon kid.

It's an irony that a mangaka known for creative cynicism was to leave the world with an idealistic ending. Of course, whether it's really the end is an issue I'll be talking about later. For now, it's a given that the kind of peace enjoyed by Guts and Casca was an image of idealism. Not the kind of idealism promoted by politicians and activists alike but the type which we all were used to when we're merely twelve. That'd before we knew how dangerous the world is. That'd before we knew the depths of human deception. That's definitely before I learnt to appreciate music. In a symbolic sense, Guts returned to an irretrievable past when life was hard but nevertheless less cruel. This was also synonymous with Guts' first interaction with a humane soul since Shisu passed away. 

Miura Kentaro and the Thanatos Gambit

What is a Thanatos Gambit? The TV Tropes site has a very good explanation of what it really is. Literally speaking, Miura-sensei didn't pull off a Thanatos Gambit since he clearly didn't manipulate his cause of death. However, the impact coming from his final gift to the world of storytelling from Japan to the U.S could be seen as somewhat similar.

As a fan of Trinity Blood, the regret left behind by the author's death before the curtains fall on the story was all too real. Stuff like this rarely made the news if there's any at all. When was the last time Mediacorp announced something like this? Or Hollywood as well for that matter? For fans of Trinity Blood, Yoshida Sunao's untimely death in 2004 meant we'd never see how the story will end. So how regretful was that episode? No one knew how Abel Nightroad would be able to make a literal comeback after his brother Cain killed him like the biblical tale of Cain and Abel. While Yoshi-S did leave behind possible ideas for a comeback, it would still be a long shot away from concluding the story. To set the record straight, the anime version only ended with Esther becoming Elizabeth III (Note: In the original story, things were more complicated as the throne was left empty and Esther believed a Spencer should take the throne per the royal granny's wish). Even if we're to talk about the possibility of science in the form of Bacillus nanomachines, it's not a substitute for what's going to happen to the AX. Let alone the Rosencreutz Orden.

This is where the important part comes: The truth of the moon child. In Berserk, I'd say there are two main villains. You have the immediate villain, that'd be Griffith. Then you have the overarching villain. That'd be Void. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Miura hinted at this when asked about the ultimate goal of the God Hand. As for where the Idea of Evil stands in the grand scheme of things, it's anyone's guess because the Idea of Evil is more of a concept rather than an actual being. Think of it as atheism utterly deromanticised because this isn't Hollywood. The fact Miura wasn't tempted to do a retcon likely meant something.

The stunning revelation wasn't without foreshadowing, though. My lecturer Mr Felix "not the cat" Cheong did stress more than once the importance of this storytelling technique when I used my Skills Future credit for a creative writing course in Lasalle. Yes, it's a waste of credits. No, I don't regret it. Anyway, back to when this was foreshadowed. In Berserk, crimes against humanity were the norm. On one hand, it's easy to say the trolls are literal monsters for raping women. They really do and they truly are. On the other hand, however, are human beings truly better? Let's not forget Griffith used to be a human being like you and me, as much as it sounds like an anti-Hollywood obscenity. We all know the process of the Eclipse: The Band of Hawks got slaughtered, Griffith raped Casca, and Guts ended up having the most severe PTSD imaginable.

The second part is what I'm referring to as the foreshadow. Remember when Casca was violated, she was already with Guts' child. In other words, Griffith wasn't the dad. One favourite question among the fanbase was whether the Moonlight Boy was the reincarnation of said child. Circumstantially, it's possible considering the timing of his first appearance. But what if he IS really Guts and Casca's child? A lot of things would have made sense in ways more than one. For starters, you don't need a PhD in life science to understand procreation. It's science but not rocket science. In a nutshell, the act of tainting a woman's body might have resulted in unexpected consequences. If the brutality of Griffith's actions were more than just brutality, everything would click together. But was it a case of unintentional outcome or something Griffith deliberately did?

If it's the former, then it means Griffith chose to abandon his humanity entirely. But this also means somewhere deep down inside, Griffith acknowledged the truth of his humanity. If you can't kill your morality, then exile it. If it's the latter, then what we believe we knew about Griffith would be challenged. All the while, we're rooting for Guts while hoping Griffith would just roll over and die. That's because we make assumptions based on what we see in pretty much every part of our daily lives. Picking sides is merely an indication of this. I'm NOT saying we should side with a murderer, rapist, or terrorist. That's clearly wrong. But do we have the ability to see the sin as evil while the sinner as a fellow human being? If we can, it means we're being challenged. Not in terms of black and white but rather the standard of black and white. Self-righteousness isn't a matter of morality but rather whether we see ourselves as morally good without using the brain.

The humane side of Griffith, from how I see it, isn't just a challenge to his resolve. It also begs a simple but often unasked question: Should morality be defined by choice? If the answer is yes, then it'd effectively make the Moonlight Boy's existence moot. Because there's no way the kid could fit into a world of dark fantasy and equally dark morality since that'd invalidate Griffith's humanity. Sure, there were characters in the story devoid of humane decency from head to toe. But not all. Take for example Nosferatu Zodd. When he first appeared, he looked every bit a villain everyone wanted to hate. Killing people for fun? Check. No remorse? He's got it. Chaotic neutral instead of chaotic evil? That's the fun part. If a member of the God Hand with no morality inside can display a sense of honour more real than real-life hypocrites, it means a humane Griffith shouldn't be seen as a long shot. At the same time, let's not discount what immortality can do to yourself. I wouldn't be surprised if the lack of morality among the God Hand was due to them forgetting what it means to be human. This is immortality without redemption. And immortality without redemption means eternal damnation. Of course, I'm assuming things here. At this point, no one knows what Void is out to achieve or at least prove.

Before I continue, let me stress again the dark world of Berserk is effectively a case of 404 God Not Found. If you need evidence disproving religion as the root of all evil, Berserk would be it. Even with a corrupted religious system, whose fault was it? Humanity or some higher power? Remember, both the God Hand and apostles actually function like human beings instead of gods. Never mind the fact we got a guy with a goat's head implanted on his shoulders. Remember, the closest thing to a god happened to be a living concept defined by the dark side of humanity.

This brings us to the focal theme of Berserk. Namely, the philosophy of duality. It's a trait only human beings have. No matter how intelligent a monkey or dolphin is, animals don't have duality. This is what separates people from animals. And Berserk made this very clear. The capability of doing good and evil is what makes us humane. And it's also what makes the dark world of Berserk... well, terribly dark. If Griffith doesn't possess this manner of duality, it means he's no longer humane (i.e. この人でなし!). That's why the Moonlight Boy is so vital. It's to prove Griffith was no different from those he ruled and slaughtered. This also indirectly humanises the God Hand and apostles alike. In fact, there's a reason why the Count refused to sacrifice his own daughter in exchange for his own survival. The fellow wasn't an anomaly now that I look back at it.

Moonlight Boy's presence also throw in a question we never expect to answer in the first place. It's not about whether Griffith deserves redemption. Rather, it's whether Griffith is beyond redemption. It's like in Hellsing Ultimate where the Major mocked Alucard as an irredeemable monster. Monster, yes. Irredeemable? No.

Why we may actually see Berserk 100% complete

Now, I don't know how others would see this possibility. The greatest question surrounding Berserk is not about what would Miura do but rather what has Miura done. This is very important. As I said, Berserk has two villains. The immediate and overarching. It's like playing Witcher 2. You have Letho as the immediate antagonist and Emhyr var Emreis as the overarching antagonist.

While this revelation wouldn't influence future developments involving the God Hand per se, it can go a long way in resolving Griffith's role in the story. One of the most mind-blowing dilemmas in the world of storytelling is this: We want badly to see how Berserk is going to end, but we're also content to see the series end at the crossroads.

Despite Miura's untimely demise, his assistants actually got something concrete to work on. In fact, I'd call his final work a door leading to a future instead of a room without a door. This is what separates Berserk from Trinity Blood. There's an actual opening leading to a foreseeable possibility. Resolving Griffith's role, however, is only finishing two-thirds of the story. We still have the remaining third. That'd be the God Hand. That's the most difficult part. At this point, we know only as much about the God Hand as why Japan's average COVID-19 cases count is dropping. It's that tricky.

But why do I believe Berserk can be 100% complete posthumous? This is where I'm entering the wild guessing territory. The fact Miura was able to fashion an opening to resolve two-thirds of the story could mean he also had an idea on how to deal with the God Hand. Let's not forget that as the storyteller, he already put into motion the gears of their agenda. A lot actually hinges on whether he did leave behind instructions. A misperception we have on manga apart from the erroneous assumption that it's immature (i.e. Steve was wrong) is that the mangaka has to walk alone. But as every self-respecting Kopite (including Steve) would say, You Never Walk Alone. We're not just talking about assistants, we're also talking about discipleship in the form of being one.

Before I end this, let me point out that in NO way was I assuming things. It's a probability issue where a lot depends on what Miura left behind apart from his final script. Even if instructions were already there, we shouldn't interpret possibilities for absolute results.

ESOtivity (half of it is actually unrelated stuff)

I'll be honest here. It actually felt good euthanising the social media bird like an Oda Nobunaga. Do you know what's the best thing about having less than 5 hits/views on the first day? It's the sense of liberation caused by the phrase "I don't care" and the fact you really mean what you say. I'm not the most well-liked person. In fact, I'm an incel and I'm not ashamed of admitting something which wasn't caused by me. One thing I've learnt was that no crook has the right to decide the morality of a fellow crook if you get what I mean. And no, I'm not a morally good person. Seriously, I'm not.

With the ranting done, there's something about the hits/views that might suggest I'm in trouble. When it came to hits/views, there's definitely some semblance of consistency. A nation with a pluralistic name is clearly not one of them. I can list out for you the list of consistent offenders when it comes to viewing my horrible stuff: United States, United Kingdom, Germany, France, and Russia. Singapore isn't one of them but I expected this.

As you can see, there are two nations with pluralistic names, but one wasn't on my list of consistent offenders. Namely, the Netherlands. So why was this a big deal?

Someone I know is currently studying at the top-ranked university in the Netherlands. PhD, to be exact. Not in Amsterdam even though it's the capital city of the Netherlands. Rather, it's Wageningen. If you never heard of this place, I suspect it's a good thing. One globally famous legal red-light district is enough, that's all I can say.

Clearly, I have no concrete evidence of trouble nearing my doorstep (and don't ask me why I interpret this as trouble. I suspect Mr Lee will slaughter me for telling the truth). But the consistency didn't make sense. At least not to me. This was weirder than getting a hit/view from Turkmenistan (and it does happen on the very rare occasion with China joining in the fun on an equally rare probability). Japan and South Korea? Happened before but were too sporadic to be called a consistency.

If a person can post something about Afghanistan within 24 hours of me analysing the situation, it's either that person has a habit of posting international stuff or someone may have gone terribly un-Singaporean and character-breaking.

Speaking of trouble...

I believe I need to take a break from following news involving Asmongold. Eventually, at least. The reason why is that I'm just a neutral guy who is as bored as those responsible for Deepfake. Thankfully, I'm not as bored as those responsible for QAnon. One is boredom, the other is malicious boredom.

Anyway, I did watch a video involving him and a fellow FF14 player called Void Bunny. For those who think Final Fantasy 14 is really rated T, let me inform you that freedom of expression can change things very fast. ERP in gaming speak does NOT stand for the Singaporean road tax system. ERP in this context is... well, Erotic Role Play. I now believe someone in the Netherlands is going to send me straight into the Netherworld. For the uninformed (including but not exclusively including Ryan, Frontline Bro, Ah-Hean, and Date Masamune), this is a prevalent underground culture in MMO gaming. However, it wasn't the experience from which I gained knowledge of this. Rather, I'm blessed with the curiosity of a genius without being blessed with the IQ of one. The internet is a dark place, so please make sure you have the mental fortitude of Emiya Kiritsugu instead of the mental resilience of a Singaporean student if you desire knowledge in the name of curiosity. Let it be said that the god of the internet is none other than Hermaeus Mora.

Long story short, I came across a Reddit post involving a FF14 gamer receiving some kind of vitriol over an interview with Asmongold. I can't give you the details for two reasons:

1. I didn't watch the interview vid although curiosity managed to unearth such a video. If you're intelligent enough to graduate from secondary school, you should understand how. It's not rocket science even to a tech Amish like yours truly.

2. I don't want to make things worse. Yes, I do have my angry moments. I have angry moments against the political left and I also have angry moments towards the political right. My attitude towards the Western brand of socio-political religion is the wariness of Tokugawa Ieyasu although my attitude toward evangelicals refusing to play the same game reflected that of Oda Nobunaga towards the Christians during his time (i.e. Roman Catholics).

So how do I see this issue? I'm not a conventional person. Either that or I'm abnormal. I don't have issues with appreciating characters in dark fiction. When it comes to dark tales, I know what I'm dealing with: Effectively a world where God does not exist. If you think that's impossible, chances are that you never came into contact with what the Japanese could do. I can live with works like Berserk, Hellsing, Vinland Saga, Tokyo Ghoul, etc better than other people in the same room every Sunday. Why? Because I know what the logic of 404 God Not Found looks like. If you think it's a Japanese thing, you'd be surprised to know the Witcherverse is also another case of 404 God Not Found. I'm not saying do what I do. Don't emulate a broken person when it comes to seeking a role model. Ask me and I'd say Kaneki Ken isn't a role model.

Again, long story short: I don't expect video games to be paragons of moral virtue. If you need them to be so, it says something very depressing about your society from education to parenting. When I play video games, I ensure myself not to be indoctrinated. Why? Because there's a line between the virtual and real-life. This is not to say you don't need to make moral choices behind closed doors. I'm not a good person, but I don't do three things in ESO:

1. Stealing. That's legal in-game but not for me.

2. Murder. Refer to the above statement.

3. Grabbing Thieves' Throve. I used to do that for a while. Then I quitted for the most obvious reason.

This is not roleplaying. In the past, I tried it with plenty of gusto. Then I realised one thing: I'm not a roleplayer, I'm a storyteller. Even though I'm not Kevin "I'm sure he's not Guan Yu's descendant" Kwan or Kyla "I'm sure she's not Zhao Yun's descendant" Zhao, I'm still a storyteller. Fame does not and should not define my identity as one. Maybe I should have rolled a Warden main instead in the first place.

At the end of the day, parenting is a burden. But this burden is a must because what's the point of having one generation of saints if the next generation becomes a population of sinners? Whenever I saw news of university students breaking the law, I had mixed feelings. On one hand, their actions mocked me as one condemned by the educational system even though I didn't break the law. On the other hand, I knew my decisions mocked them like Liu Bang mocking Xiang Yu.

Video gaming is a tricky issue for parents. If someone says video games are getting increasingly explicit, I'd agree. However, I also know this is the result of a global moral culture shifting to the boundaries of the Netherworld instead of the Netherlands. Living in this world would be much simpler if one doesn't take into account the word leisure. I'm not talking about decisions involving hard boundaries like watching porn and enacting One Night In Amsterdam instead of singing One Night In Beijing. A lot of things involve lines seemingly blurred. It'd be much harder on my conscience to play video games if I do not have a mind of steel. Therefore, I believe it's very important for every individual to ask this question when it comes to gaming: Do I have the mental fortitude to draw the correct line?

Yet, this is not to say we're never in the need to learn. I started gaming in 2014 or so. I made decisions which I shouldn't have made in the first place. If I should have left this title or that title earlier, it means I didn't do so and there's a reason why I should have done so. If I accidentally did what is good because I didn't know a debit card can be used as a credit card, it means being stupid is not always a curse. Actually, being intelligent can be more of a curse at times and I'm not referring to depression.

Progress so far...

The new changes to the armour skill lines have chucked in some very interesting decisions for ranged DPS players in case you've yet to discover it (albeit I doubt so). If you're running a melee Stamina DPS (not sure about Magicka melee DPS because I've to test this out and have no plans to try it), it's not going to be a vital issue since the changes affect only light and medium armour. In short, I believe you'll still need the meta (?) combination of 5 medium and 2 heavy.

Right now, I believe a lot of ranged DPS players are going 5 light and 2 medium. As someone running a Magicka ranged DPS as my main, that's what I do. I got my Dunmer's spell penetration to 6800+ thanks to the one-piece Valkyn Skoria bonus and some good information online (believe it or not, the internet is not just known for memes, porn, and mocking evangelicals). Add to that the Thief critical chance bonus plus 7 legendary Divines traits and the damage go much better than before. Even soloing with a full False God's Devotion on the Spellscar world event ended up yielding a 5 figure DPS consistently (although it's due to Diamond's Victory, nerf or no nerf). It's actually quite fun running this with a volatile Gollum and an angry Birdwoman complete with Blockade of Storm, Hardened Ward, and Inner Light plus Ice Comet as ultimate on the front bar. And yes, Hircine's wolf ring. That one is very important if you're to ask me.

For my Orsimer Nightblade, the dude clearly is a Stamina DPS. But because he's a melee build, this means my options are knackered. The reason being that I can't use sets like Relequen and Vicious Serpent without breaking either end of the gameplay. Either I had to nuke the defensive side with 1 piece heavy and 6 pieces medium or the critical DPS efficiency via the typical 5 medium+2 heavy. The reason why my Orc Nightblade can reach post-50% on the critical chance was because of Leviathan. Without the final tier bonus, the critical chance would go below 50%. In short, I'm stuck with Leviathan, Hunding's Rage, one-piece Kra'gh, and Ring of Wild Hunt. Interestingly, I'm quite comfortable with this arrangement. More specifically, it's having learnt to be comfortable with it. It's like appreciating your girlfriend. If having the likes of Emilia "not to be confused with her fellow Emilia from Re:Zero" Clarke, Yeonwoo, Suzuki "very sure her dad isn't Masayuki" Airi, and Bonnie "no Clyde jokes please" Loo as your girlfriend is the only way for you to do so, then maybe you shouldn't be entering a relationship in the first place.

Lastly is my Altmer Templar. Yes, I know people are going to ask whether I'm anti-humanity due to an all-Mer roster. Yes, I have problems with human nature. But no, I don't desire the extinction of the human race. Anyway, the Altmer is the trickiest character to manage so far and it has got nothing to do with the fact she's a female toon rolled by a male gamer (Note: Please don't ask me about male gamers using female toons to ERP because I'd just laugh like an amused John "he really sang this song" Cleese). The equation is this: How can I make a spear-spamming DPS build work? Using Explosive Charge is a terrible 50-50 in running as a group. There's something about the lag much more than whether there's something about Mary. I don't like it. Seriously, it's a bit like in a toxic relationship. Even in solo PvE, the clunkiness was more painfully evident than using Elemental Weapon. At least I learnt the virtue of sneaking in Elemental Weapon during persistent light attack spamming. This comes to mind the question of what kind of gamer I'm meant to be? I'm not just referring to my strength, it's also about my weakness. I'm not a technical gamer. This means I'm better off planning different builds for solo and group play while at the same time maximising the front bar more than bar-switching. What I planned for solo PvE shouldn't be used for group PvE and vice-versa. In this sense, I function more like a strategist than a warrior or mage. Another thing is the Soulshine set. Now, this one is very interesting for Templars using Puncturing Sweep and/or either morph of the Judgement Mazinger. The former option I use for solo, the latter is for either group running or soloing world bosses (that is unless I'm wrong in assuming algorithms at work if you're soloing group instances). I won't call this BiS for Templars relying on channelling their inner judge, but I'd call this an interesting option. For spear-spamming, it's not an issue. It's when we come to the Judgement Mazinger that things become trickier. One morph is lower damage but additional self-heal while the other is pure damage. Because my playing style is more of a survivor than a glass cannon (actually, I don't do glass cannon builds because I know I'm not good enough for that), I opted for Glory over Oppression. At the same time, lower damage but additional self-heal means I'd be forced to use it more often to maximise the usage efficiency. This plays in nicely when it comes to constantly proc'ing the Soulshine effect. So how this front bar works would look like Blazing Spear, Radiant Glory, Purifying Light, Radiant Aura, Inner Light, and Fiery Rage as ultimate. Instead of attempting a rotation involving Purifying Light and Radiant Glory (seriously, I tried that and it felt painfully clunky), my decision is to alternate between the two when it comes to light attack spamming. I'd need some prolonged practice to make this work, though. Even then, I can't be sure whether it works unless I can actually make it work. After all, every theory is all about proving something unless it's disproven. When that time comes, just make sure you don't put yourself into denial. I'm sure every PhD student should understand what I'm talking about even though I'm not a PhD student.

A/N: Wow, this ended longer than I expected. Must have been my unrighteous anger. Guess it's time for some Witcher 3 instead of Coldplay or Jason "not Momoa" Mraz.

Wonder if the harp is involved in the original version...

ESOtivity (plus a bit of weebness)

Okay, I admit I've been watching quite a bit of Asmongold of late. Granted it's due to the Great Bird Kamuy in me (not to be confused with the actual deal), but I have to warn impressionable tweens that Asmongold isn't the most sodium-lite dude if you get what I'm trying to say. If there is a reason why I can remain steadfast despite the American language used, it's not because of how morally good I am. Unlike how a fellow Singaporean defined mental resilience, the mental fortitude I have is further away from the Singaporean type and closer to that of a typical (?) Japanese dark fiction protagonist. Seriously, it's not a joke. Perhaps this is why I can connect with songs like White Silence and Licht und Schatten, both incidentally of the Tokyo Ghoul fame (i.e. If you feel pain, it means you're still alive). Of course, they're not the only ones. Tatar folk music can be very rhythmic while Ainu folk music can be surprisingly hypnotic despite and because of its monotony.

In other news, I guess I'll be doing much shorter posts for good. Granted I started blogging for the sake of people's attention. Thankfully, my church finally got its message firmly nailed into my heart and mind. In other words, why care about the numbers since they're as temporary as every person's bank account? And besides, I've already euthanised my social media bird. No Oda Nobunaga jokes, please.

Finally, I got the guts to do something

I'll be brutally honest here: I'm a coward. At CP 1000+, I had yet to even try normal Maelstrom Arena, let alone Vateshran Hollows. Because I got the wrong idea that Maelstrom Arena offered coffers, I decided to have a go at it due to the current Year One event featuring Orsinium, Craglorn, and an Imperial City getting firebombed like Tokyo 1945 while invaded by Lorkhan's fellow Daedra (yes, I bought Jim Henson's FudgeMuppet's theory although not entirely due to the awareness of morality in the mortal races of Nirn).

I wouldn't be surprised if I'm going to run Vateshran Hollows as well. For now, however, there remain plenty of distractions. And this is not to mention I'm toying with the idea of rolling a Breton DPS Warden once I finish doing the base story Alliance storyline for my two alts (more specifically trying to clear the Summerset zone map with my High Elf Magplar as well).

So how did my first Maelstrom Arena go? Actually, it's better than I expected. While I managed to clear it in one single day, the various bumps along the way made me believe it's challenging. However, cooling down after a couple of days made me change my mind. The reason why I felt it's reasonably hard was that it actually felt hard. But as renowned black intellectual Thomas Sowell once famously put it, Johnny confused thinking with feeling.

In short, it's quite easy. Any #respawnlol moment was due to not knowing what things can one-shot my character into Azura's Singaporean moon and star. The angry Argonian stage took me like 2-3 #respawnlol to get right. For the equally angry giant stage, just once. In fact, the guild leader in one of my guilds might have implied it's more about using the terrain than anything else. Of course, he never said that in case you still haven't got it.

Now if you really want to figure out utilising the arena terrain, my personal recommendation is not to use any of the sigils. In veteran mode, there's no chance in Mehrunes Dagon's own backyard would I suggest it. In normal, you can survive depending on whether you'd be able to notice anything funny along the arena's edge. In fact, there's a consistency in the mob portal spawn. Needless to say, that's how I did my first normal MA run. Clearly not a thing I can boast about because I'm clearly not the only human being who knows critical thinking is 10% classroom and 90% messing up things yourself.

If there's an important lesson I've learnt in the process, it's settling down on a specific rotation involving light attack spamming and stick with it. Light weaving can be terribly 50-50 for me due to the pace being faster than a Maserati made in Mexico. When I say rotation, I mean a two-attack sequence (or anything along that line since I played light spamming off Hardened Ward).

At the same time, running this with a full False God's Devotion or Vicious Serpent (i.e. the stamina FGD) helps a lot. Not only you can regain Magicka or Stamina like a crazy warlord on a land grab spree, Major Expedition actually speeds up your startup animation for any non-channel ability. Do Hardened Ward with and without Major Expedition. You'll know what I'm talking about because that's how I was able to open fire like a mad Bosmer. While I'm not sure whether a full Undaunted set is a better alternative to gearing a mythic item in veteran mode, Ring of the Wild Hunt has served me very well. It's not every day a Daedric Prince can pull off this manner of intervention. Even though the Harpooner's Wading Kilt is the current BiS mythic item, I believe I'm going to stick with Hircine's signet due to the mobility useful for both PvE and PvP. After all, I see mythic items as more about individual playing style than anything else.

Rolling a Breden (okay, that's either a TBA or TBC)

As stated above, rolling a Breden (i.e. Breton Warden) isn't a guarantee. It depends on whether I can progress fast enough on my alts and it depends on whether I actually... well, feel like it. While I'm more than capable of using logic to analyse stuff, I do have a more temperamental side where my horse is called Impetuous and my spear Recklessness. If it sounds worse than how Cú Chulain or Diarmuid Ua Duibhne died, you can be sure that's the case. Definitely not the kind of guy a girl could stand unless she got the moral fortitude of Oai.

Joking aside, I did spend a bit of time sitting down wondering how on Y'ffre's grass can I create such a build. Note that this is a rudimentary take since I did say I have a more temperamental side.

Gear: Mother's Sorrow x 5 (3 light and destro staff), Medusa x 5 (Cuirass+1 more heavy armour; ring and necklace), Valkyn Skoria x 1 (light), Ring of the Wild Hunt

Glyphs: Magicka x 7 (armour), Increase Magical Harm x 3 (jewellery), Frost (lightning staff on the front bar), Absorb Health (frost staff on the back bar)

Traits: Divines x 7, Arcane/Bloodthirsty x 3 (iirc my Slaughterstone count should be higher than Aurbic Amber but definitely lower than Cobalt), Nirnhoned (thank Stendarr and Julianos for the reworked critical DPS building)

Mundus: Apprentice (because Bretons are low on raw power and you now only need 6800+ penetration if you can't get it to 7000+ for critical DPS builds)

Build name-Icefury (group PvE)

Front bar: Winter's Revenge, Elemental Weapon, Blue Betty, Bird of Prey, Inner Light; Ice Comet (Ultimate)

Back bar: Ice Fortress, Blockade of Frost, Arctic Blast, Bird of Prey, Inner Light; Permafrost (Ultimate)

Build name-Wardruid (solo PvE)

Front bar: Winter's Revenge, Force Pulse, Ice Fortress, Bird of Prey, Inner Light; Eternal Guardian (Ultimate)

Back bar: Echoing Vigor, Blockade of Frost, Deep Fissure, Bird of Prey, Inner Light; Eternal Guardian (Ultimate)

Notes:

1. This is clearly theory-crafting waiting to be proven or disproven. If someone already pulled it off, please give credit to the person instead and ignore what I did.

2. Unlike a previous stunt involving a cat called Baanzai, this one is for real. Well, at least more real.

3. Because my playing style is more strategic and less technical, I tend to function better with minimal bar switching. As a result, my front bar playing style is a combination of single-target and AoE DPS. As for the back bar, it's more of a contingency in case survival or asap mob clear is needed.

4. If this goes ahead, I need to ask my guildies to help me craft a Nirnhoned lightning staff and a Nirnhoned frost staff. Unfortunately, my supply of potent Nirncrux is definitely lower than the global vaccine stockpile. This means I may choose to pay through Zenithar's non-Japanese Z'en (i.e. guild traders) for either or both.