Disclaimer: Views are of the blogger's own and does not (necessarily) reflect actual common-sense.

Friday, 15 April 2022

Minamoto mina-san (i.e. some massive ramblings on Minamoto no Yoshitsune)

Okay, it's been a long time since I've blogged something. One thing I realised about doing stupid things throughout the last 10 years and beyond is the fact that I shouldn't be doing them at all. Another thing I noticed? If there's anything worse than doing stupid things, it'd be the refusal to learn from your stupidity.

Recently, part of my curiosity was aroused in understanding myself better. Namely, what are the scars left behind by schoolyard democracy? If I want to stay true to my conscience, I cannot say my bullies did something stupid. Bullying is wrong, not stupid. Doing stupid things may land you in the hospital, but doing wrong things can lead to others getting hurt or worse. I can be "kind" to them, but I have to be the same type of person to justify that. You know, the Roy Mustang logic.

This comes to some self-testing. Now before I go on, let me point out that self-testing does not amount to a professional diagnosis. However, I did have bad experiences dealing with professionals. There was this one time when a counsellor adopted brute-force positivity where in fact I was seeking answers. I gave up. Then I visited a psychiatrist. The intern counsellor did a very good job. Sadly, she's only an intern. In short, no calls for a follow-up. I didn't know whether it was an honest slip from the radar or something worse. I chose not to pursue it because I didn't want actual confrontation.

Here were my own self-testing results.





And now onto the topic
There's something truly personal behind the term hogan-biki. Literally translated as Judge's Favour, this term was inspired by the post of Kuro Hogan conferred upon Minamoto no Yoshitsune by the Imperial Court. Due to the tragic nature of Yoshitsune's recorded death, hogan-biki refers to sympathy for the underdog. And that's who I was and still am: An underdog.

Depending on how much fuel I have, this post may or may not extend beyond Part 1.

Will the real Yoshitsune please stand up? (not literally FYI)
The legend of Minamoto no Yoshitsune has always been universal knowledge among the Japanese. When it comes to the sources of his legendary feats (no Dan-no-Ura pun intended), three titles come to mind: Azuma Kagami, Heike Monogatari, and Gikeiki.

Azuma Kagami was the official historical record of the Kamakura shogunate from Minamoto no Yoritomo's war against the Taira clan until the middle of the 13th century of Imperial Prince Munetaka's arrival at Kyoto on July 20, 1266, who was a retired shogun expelled from Kamakura. (Source: NOT Wikipedia).

As for Heike Monogatari, it's an epic account of the Genpei War. Split into three parts, each part has its own protagonist. Taira no Kiyomori in Part 1, Minamoto no Yoshinaka in Part 2, and Minamoto no Yoshitsune in Part 3.

Lastly, Gikeiki was where we got much of the romanticised Yoshistune from. This also means we can easily guess from where most embellishment and positive PR hailed from.

Before I continue, let me point out that much of Yoshitsune's life was unable to be verified. But there seemed to be two versions of him:
 
1. The heroic version we're all familiar with.
 
2. The anti-heroic version that was further roided by Hirano "Jigoku no Kouta" Kouta and more realistically portrayed by Suda "he's really Taisho"  Masaki in Kamakura-dono no Jūsan-nin (don't ask me why it's written as 鎌倉殿の13人 instead of 鎌倉殿の十三人).
 
For point 2, at least that's how I interpreted his rage scene since I watched it off Youtube with no subtitles and zero understanding of spoken Japanese. Speaking of that show, it's quite surprising to see Evan "he answered NHK's call" Call being the second non-Japanese to compose the music for a Taiga drama due to his age of 33. The first person who did that was John "he's a composer, not a preacher" Graham for Kirin ga Kuru and the dude was already 89 back then. Credit to Saitama no Randy for telling me there's a seniority culture in Japan. I hope he and his waifu are currently fine in Saitama.

One interesting snippet of information that may (or may not) tell us whether the real Yoshitsune was more of an anti-hero came from this site. Further confirming this was Daily Mail. If you click the CIA link, however, you'll enter the Realm of 404. Nevertheless, I never expected a British tabloid to pull this off. Yes, the British tabloid culture is good at stuff like whether Prince William has truly fallen out with Prince Harry. But to tell the entire world that Minamoto no Yoshitsune was the OG of shinobi culture and said, "because the CIA said so"? That's baffling. I wonder what the likes of Lloyd "not from Texas" Austin and Ben "he decided not to bend for Trump" Sasse would say about this.

If (and that's a very big IF) the British tabloid wasn't bluffing us, Yoshitsune's identity as a proto-ninja would point towards the possibility of the anti-heroic image instead of the idealised Samurai Prince Charming we're used to seeing. The reason is that the code of bushido clearly forbade the usage of black ops. Any samurai who did so would have dishonoured his clan. Believe it or not, the idea of honour is still very real in Japan today where you don't have to be the PAP to sue another person for libel. In the olden days, there could only be one ending for those who dishonoured their clan: Seppuku.

But not so for commoners. After all, they didn't belong to the nobility. This meant two things:

1. They didn't have the privilege of the elite.

2. They could do things the elite can't. Like performing black ops.

If (again, that's a very big IF) Yoshitsune was a ninja, that'd mean he had to resort to some questionable tactics to get things done. At the same time, it's natural to assume a ninja would be more pragmatic than a samurai due to the no-rules logic. Interestingly, official records of ninja activities were only present starting from the Sengoku era. However, the wording made it very clear that the concept of shinobi had already evolved into organisations instead of the common rabble many members of the aristocracy would look down on. To have an idea of the situation, the Sengoku era was officially dated 1467-1615 while the history of black ops in Japan happened as early as the 6th century AD. To put things in (speculative) perspective, the Genpei War happened during the 12th century AD. Theoretically speaking, Yoshitsune might have a certain knowledge of the shinobi arts as we know them now. Whether that qualified him as the OG of shinobi culture remains another issue altogether.
 
 
To be continued...

Tuesday, 22 March 2022

ESOtivity (but first some major rambling)

It's been... well, quite depressing. We all know what's going on and I'm not going to repeat what the whole world knows right now.

Thankfully, I managed to adapt. It's not because I'm a Singaporean instead of a Ukrainian. Rather, it's more like a natural self-defensive system within my brain. I find it far better to be positive by acknowledging the world to be imperfect and the actual definition thereof. Believe it or not, my church is responsible for preserving my sanity instead of my country. In a very real sense, I see quite a bit of myself in Emiya Shirou of the Unlimited Blade Works route of Fate/stay night. This also means I also see my hypothetical self in Archer.


The weird thing the Russo-Ukrainian war had provoked in me was to search what Slavs looked like. Note that if you can call a Russian a Slav, it means you cannot call a Slav a Russian. Because Ukrainians are also Slavs.

The interesting part about Slavs is that they don't seem to have that sharp look present in your typical white person. So if you see a white foreign talent with a smoother jawline, that person may possibly be a Slav.

Eye shape-wise, it's interesting that rounded eyes are not a given among Caucasians. While rounded eyes do exist among East Asians, the shape resembles the capital letter D flipped to left. For Caucasians, rounded eyes mean a shape like a rugby ball. Interestingly, this shape may more prominent among the Slavs. There's a term called the Pontid or North Pontid look. The latter has a sharper look while the former had a softer look. Both have an oval jawline and rounded eyes.

This was when I came to my very own WTH moment. For years, I acknowledged I don't look Chinese. The reason is that my jawline is a smooth oval shape while my eyes are symmetrically rounded and slightly slanted. This actually gives me a weird Japanese look with an equally weird Ainu touch. At the same time, my nasal bone is a weird combination of low (note I never say flat) and narrow. This is why my nose looks nicer with glasses on instead of just after waking up. The former boasts a sharp look while the other presents a flatter look. As a result, I started having questions about my DNA. Singaporean Chinese are descended from southern China. As a result, they can look quite different from those of northern China. This was due to different ethnic minorities in both ends of China respectively. But even then, I'm not sure how northern I look because my eyes and jawline are unable to give me a clue. Then the next thing I realised, I weirdly resembled half-Slavic. Or more possibly one-quarter Slav. It's weird. I tried observing other fellow Chinese and even Google search for the relevant images. The outcome only further reinforced the possibility that something wasn't right. And it didn't help that an accident involving my feline curiosity (i.e. not this type) resulted in discovering a half-Ukrainian Japanese model named Karen "not that kind of Karen" Takizawa. Some of her photos left me scratching my head. We both have similar jawlines. You know the moment Joseph Joestar broke the third commandment once again? Yeah, something like that.

With that being said, I'm not about to assume whether I'm adopted or not. One thing life has taught me is that you play the hand you're dealt with. And with that, how you play the cards accordingly. If I sound like a philosophical Remy, that's because I identify myself with Gambit's past as well.


Shipwright's Regret and Coral Aerie: First impressions

One thing I learnt about enjoying the storytelling process in ESO is this: Do the DLC dungeons asap once they got released. The reason why is that players would want to have a go at the mechanics while at the same time enjoying the dialogue. One issue I have with doing dungeons is that I don't have time to go through the dialogue because everyone else would be running forward. Random normal dungeons have been known for all sorts of people speedrunning from point A to point Z. The reason why is that since Update 29, changes in the CP system means everyone is out to grab fast loot and faster XP. Everything about normal dungeons is farming without knowing. If you really want to learn, you have to do random veteran dungeons. As a DPS, I find that random normal dungeons don't serve as a good honing session. It's now like dolmen farming in Alik'r.

If the dungeons are new, however, it's a different issue. Players would be out testing how the mechanics work. In veteran difficulty, one strategic error can cost a wipe and quite possibly a mutual party quit. That's what happened in one of my random veteran dungeons raids where my group (including myself) decided to quit at the last boss. Never mind the fact Bloodroot Forge can be insanely hard on veteran mode. It's a miracle we got to Earthgore Almanac, never mind the fact someone accidentally triggered hard mode during our final try. Now to think of it, maybe the healer should be in charge of triggering Quenching Blood with the tank holding ground at the Blistering Fire fount. Maybe I should have suggested that to the group. But I didn't due to confidence issues caused by schoolyard democracy in the past. With that being said, Bloodroot Forge is an interesting raid due to a high strategic focus.

For the two newest dungeons, I call them the advanced versions of Red Petal Bastion. In Red Petal Bastion, the most difficult bosses would be the first and last ones. For the first, it's all about eating sweetrolls and busting portals. For the final boss, it's about precise positioning and tactical reaction to the AoE attacks which would happen like half of the fight or more. Both DLC dungeons functioned similarly. However, my first impression was that they're harder. Of course, this may be due to the high group level since everyone's CP was way above 1200. More likely post-1400. This actually made the run sweeter since it's not every day you run a normal dungeon with nobody running ahead and possibly leaving the rest for dead. While I don't mind an ad-hoc speedrun in random normal dungeons, there were indeed rare occasions of one inconsiderate group member running ahead without paying attention to whether any other members had the need to do the quest. As a result, one person's want for fast loot and faster XP left a lingering bad taste in other players' mouths. I don't think you can ever say get over it because that's a terribly irresponsible way of implying we live in a broken world. Truth to be told, I'd rather have 3 other group members not knowing what to do instead of someone running ahead. That's actually the good thing about queuing for random veteran dungeons: You don't have to deal with unnecessary toxic behaviour because no one could have the free pass to do so.

Enough about the complaining, let's go back to the two new dungeons. As I said, we had a fun time running it. One guildmate and two other strangers. While my inner world is an isolated fortress, I know an honourable person when I see one. In this case, three.

I'll be honest here: Coral Aerie seemed to be more challenging than Shipwright's Regret. For the latter, the difficult fight was restricted to the last boss where the Code's Combat Alert addon only told me trouble was coming. How to deal with it, that's your business. The movements of the slow travelling whirlpools functioned like Prior Thierric's travelling wall attack. For the latter, you needed to block and break free from the knockdown. Otherwise, you're going to take a ton of damage. For Shipwright's Regret's last boss, blocking didn't result in a massively reduced damage done. The amount of damage taken if blocked? The same as Thierric's travelling wall damage if you never blocked. That's how tricky it is. In other words, you have to be familiar with the whirlpool movements. Something you need to practice often to get the hang of it.

For Coral Aerie, the overall more difficult part lies in the mobs. It's a bit like navigating Bloodroot Forge and Scalecaller's Peak where the AoE just kept coming. The last boss wasn't that bad compared to that of Shipwright's Regret, but the second last boss required a higher level of mobility and positioning since her AoE attacks kept coming out like a modified machine gun. Interestingly, bosses in Coral Aerie seemed to take more damage than that of Shipwright's Regret. This probably meant Coral Aerie boss fights were more a DPS check than Shipwright's Regret.

Some thoughts about ESO storytelling

I'll be brutally honest here: Gates of Oblivion wasn't the best ESO storytelling. The gameplay is good, especially with the Rockgrove trial, but I just felt ZOS was trying too hard to give female NPCs the chance to shine. The gender balance seemed terribly lopsided. This resulted in me wishing Sombren wasn't the traitor despite the foreshadowing. It shouldn't be happening. If I was a feminist, it might be a different story. The fact though is that I'm not. Do I believe in righteousness and justice? Yes. But that doesn't make me a liberal any more than you can call a dictatorship democracy.

With ZOS stating it's going back to its storytelling roots, this means I should have certain expectations. One thing I'll be paying attention to is whether Jakarn is going to be nothing more than a drama tool. Truth to be spoken, I found Za'Ji's interaction with Caska in Shipwright's Regret much better than that of Khaleen with Jakarn (although it could be counter-argued that Khaleen and Jakarn don't share the same camaraderie). I wouldn't want to see another Arox the Mutilator where his role was more of a running gag. As for Rynkyus, I recognised the fact there's only this much focus available. For the latter, it's understandable. For the former, that made him stand out from the likes of The Anchorite, Lyranth, and Everil. In fact, I have no qualms in saying Sister Celdina was the standout character in Gates of Oblivion despite any actual understanding restricted to her lore entry. For Lyranth, her standout moment was restricted to your final interactions with her.

This is not to say ZOS can't tell a great story. Murkmire, despite being largely forgettable, had the best storyline fit for Yoshida "not Hanzawa" Naoki. Season of the Dragons was awesome in terms of plot atmosphere and the righteousness of Abnur Tharn's selfishness. Summerset had great plot twists and finely crafted darkness that could make the likes of Sakaguchi "not Ango" Hironobu and Miyazaki "not Hayao" Hidetaka take notice. And let's not forget Barbas' sense of humour. As for Dark Heart of Skyrim, the storytelling went two to three gears up in Markarth due to Verandis Ravenwatch being the gamechanger.

My point is storytelling is a craft above all things. While socio-political concerns can be an effective source of ideas, they should NOT be used as an excuse to shackle inspiration. I'm NOT saying Gates of Oblivion was a plot of grand wokery-woke. However, the lack of gender balance has to be looked at. As I've implied, the past storytelling in the game wasn't like that. And we all can see for ourselves ESO storytelling at its very best in the past episodes/DLCs.

Some thoughts about account-wide achievements

It's quite interesting to see the decision to make achievements account-wide being some kind of controversy among players. Now I have to say for now that the decision is justified. The reason is that ZOS was making this call based on technical concerns. As for the players, they saw it in terms of experience. Casual gamers welcomed it because they don't have to grind. Hardcore gamers didn't welcome it because that'd reduce the value of titles like Stormproof where fellow players would know how awesome you are by earning merit at a CP of 200+. Believe it or not, a guildmate with a fondness for Khajiit characters actually proved it possible.

The justification of the decision, therefore, has to be made based on the company's stance. In this case, I'd say it's a good call. My game is now running more smoothly. That's saying something given ESO has a notorious reputation when it comes to optimisation and performance. Coupled with its popularity and you get a massive issue in performance.

Ultimately, I can only say whatever controversy is due to the company and players speaking in two different languages. One is technical, the other is gameplay experience. What about an opt-out option, you may ask? As I said, it's due to technical concerns that ZOS is doing this. If the company felt an opt-out option would compromise efforts to optimise game performance, we'd be going back to the same issue. Namely, two different languages from both sides of the debate.

Sunday, 13 February 2022

A Requiem From Winter Past: Chapter 6

AGE WARNING:

This work is one of dark nature. If you're below the age of 16, then you're better off reading something else. I don't profess to follow the rules of my country where only foreigners like G.R.R Martin and Miura Kentaro can write dark fiction.


A Requiem From Winter Past
~The Wolf, Lion, And Maiden Fair~
(Written by Cocteau L'Enfant Naturel)

Chapter 1

Chapter 6: Of Harlots, Scoundrels, And Men

"There's always more than one meaning to a sword but only one world in which it exists."
~Heihou no Tai'Go

)0(

“Hey, Aera. When's the last time you whored?”

'Dumb question. Try harder, whoreson Lars.”

“Considering we're in this gi'ya together, I have the right to be curious.”

“Either last week or last month in the south.”

“You mean Nanshu? But this is Kanshu. To think you rejected her advances.”

“Who?”

“Ri'In, the most popular courtesan famous for rejecting many men and breaking plenty of hearts.”

“Go shaft her then, bastard.”

)0(

Naked body stained by blood, Desmona can only flee without direction. Believing at first a hero arriving to save her and her friends, every sliver of hope sold itself to despair. This is a rabid animal walking on two legs, a demonic maelstrom leaving behind blood and body parts in its wake. Surely he's a bastard conceived from an unholy union of heroic tales and fiendish myths, the power displayed a storm of steel and flitting form. Gone are her only friends, companions making inevitable fate somewhat bearable.

"Ye’ll fectha’ fine hella’sum! Befer dat, ye’ll need sum educatin’, ya hear us?"

What has she done to deserve all these? He father was an incorrigible gambler, her mother a hopeless drunk. Her solace was tales told by kindly tellers, stories of humble common girls becoming princesses. Tiny pieces of joyful memories matter not, only an eternal nightmare awaits. The image burns deeply in her like a ewe lamb branded, screams and death staying in her mind. The bandits are the ones guilty, not her or others doomed to pleasure men!

"……"

The attacker said nothing, his silence betraying something amiss. Why did she choose to run towards him? If she had never done so, then maybe… just maybe… there would be a happy ending. She would leave behind her past for good, a worthy husband and happy children her rightful lot. Her husband would always be cheerful, perhaps her parents would one day beg for forgiveness. Weeping and running, Desmona curses the monster and a demon true.

"It’s your fault… you murderous dog…"

"Save me! Plea…"

Comes the moment, comes the surrender. Damning images devouring her mind for good, Desmona’s strength flees.

No strength to run, no strength to think… no strength to…

Then a hand grabs her wrist from behind, an alien warmth seizing her senses. She tries to scream, a hand covering her mouth in response. She kicks back against her captor, a prayer to nail a blow in between the legs. Giving a hard bite, she forces the grip loose. Then a sharp pain greets the back of her skull, her vision surrendering to darkness.

)0(

Ashter Barnes is clearly not amused, the latest episode of mischief coming to light only after Lolyx brought in a stranger. His daughter has never been one to shy away from doing the right thing, this also means the same when it comes to stupid dares. In Rhian Morris' own words, imagine Cale Ryvers in a dress and the picture should be clear enough. That was the first time someone said something this witty in his presence, the very last as well.

“Any last words?”

Before her father's interrogation, the Tamurian can only scratch her head while looking away. What in the name of the Seven Hells was that burnt idiot thinking?

“This isn't safe anymore. Take Ciras to somewhere better.”

“What? Why me?”

“Because you stumbled upon this place.”

“Good thing bastard never said 'Because I said so'. I'd have slapped him.”

“I heard that, Lolyx. What did I preach about swearing?”

“Erm... those who do so will go to the Seven Hells?”

“I didn't say that. Don't put words into a parish's mouth.”

With a sigh, Ashter turns his sight to Adarl.

“You should have known better, Adarl. Years of learning the dark side of the world as a serving girl and you should know the madness behind all this. I know you care about Cale's past, but marriage is for life. You know what this means.”

“So what are you going to do, Uncle Barnes?”

Adarl's response is unable to throw Ashter off his guard, for charity was, is, and ever will be part of a parish's calling. He didn't know a thing about this mysterious red-haired maiden, but even a single spark can bring warmth in a world never guilty of making much sense.

“Parish Barnes! Someone needs help and Cale got his balls smashed in.”

Widened gazes greet a stout man in soldier's garb entering the door, Ashter utters a short prayer for the day to be over and done with. First this, now that. Grett Maines is an impartial man, but that doesn't mean he didn't have a thief's shadowy past. If his guess is correct, he will need to replace the lock.

“Someone castrated that idiot?” asks Lolyx, her amusement exposed to all.

“That's a dumb question, little brown girl. Someone just saved a girl from rape, Marves is tearing his hair out, and your castrated idiot nearly sparked a brawl because he's the only gentleman among the supreme morons.”

“You mean you're forced to break up a fight,” says Ciras, the bizarre situation failing to muddle her mind, “Is anyone injured?”

“If you mean whether anyone died, the thrice-blessed answer is no. But I need to put her up here. Anywhere else and I suspect my wife will kill me. Seriously, it's not a joke.”

)0(

"Was it my fault that I took a piss before she ran past me?"

"My answer is no. But it’s your fault for playing hero, so stop whining about her bite and the fact that you nearly got your balls smashed in."

"I didn't whine!"

"You kept talking about it as if it’s some big deal."

"Because you call me a cretin!"

"Well, you are. Do you expect me to call myself retarded like thirty-nine other idiots in the same room? You started this, Cale. From the moment you saved her to the moment you started a fight."

Desmona wakes up to a quarrel happening next door, a dusky girl around her age seated on a stool and asleep near the window. Getting up, she unwittingly rouses her slumbering counterpart.

"Oh, I’m sorry!"

If a hasty apology reaches her ears, Lolyx merely shows a wide yawn and bleary face. Tasked with taking care of a girl emotionally scarred, she had to contend with the occasional bout of screaming and sobbing. She feels sorry for the victim, surely a horrendous ordeal dealt her a terrible hand. While Cale Ryvers is always one to create unwanted trouble, his penchant for playing the ally of justice is nevertheless an admirable trait albeit the only one. He never notices it given his dim-witted nature, but Adarl is not the only girl smitten by him.

Seriously, Lady Cressandra Tanias? Wait, what is she doing?

Hurrying to the room where a slanging match is currently held, Lolyx pursues Desmona. This is a staring competition between two youths, one an idiot and the other not so intelligent. Desmona's dull blue eyes perceive a fairly handsome redhead with eyes of brown, his fiery countenance convincing her he must have been the one. Then there is another lad with sandy blond hair and eyes of sapphire blue, his average looks speaking an image of inferiority.

"Oh, the princess is awake." says the red-haired lad, a finger tapping his friend's shoulder.

"Thank you,” replies Desmona, a slight bow of gratitude the only gesture she can come up with.

"Hey, she said that to you, Marves!" grins the blond, a vulgar gesture playing the taunter, "Ha ha ha ha! At least Uncle Parky won’t grill me over this."

"Two things." retorts Marves Creek, a growling visage threatening violence, "First, don’t thank me, moron. Secondly…"

Desmona is no fool, she knows the meaning of that look. If it's not the comely redhead, then surely it has to be…

"Thank this idiot for saving you, my fair lady,” quips a grinning Marves Creek as he turns towards Desmona, an abrupt reversal in expression earning a venomous glare from Adarl. Cale starts squirming like an awkward lad stuck in a room full of beautiful women, dealing with attractive strangers is never his strength.

Desmona can only laugh out loud, the absurdity on display not lost on her. When was the last time she did so? She heard the offensive banter between two boys, yet there's something in their words making her feel perhaps a cruel world has never abandoned her.

)0(

Night has fallen, many a door is closed. During the day, the Vixen's Hatch entertained its share of clients. Among bordellos within Hallenian borders and beyond, there are those owned by women instead of men. It is often said for a man to own whores is natural, a woman doing the same is merit. The time for rest has arrived, a modest building of two floors shuttered. There is only this much each body of flesh and blood can take, for they are not bronze and iron. The world can easily become cruel, a crucible where to survive is not necessarily to live. Like day and night, the surface and what lies beneath exist as two sides of a coin. Paradise or hell, it matters not.

Mellyssa looks on impassively, the owner of a brothel with middling repute refusing to show her final client the door. He arrived at noon, he ordered no whores but only food and drink. His eyes are of glittering gold, a sight not unnoticed by her girls. On more than a few occasions, they tried flirting with him. Their curiosity aroused, he indulged them. Yet there's sadness and sorrow in his gaze, a fact recognised by those who worked long enough in the business of pleasing men.

“Are you going to drive him out?”

Peering from the second storey beside Mellyssa, a buxom lass new to the trade taps a finger on her cheek.

“As a matter of fact, yes. I can't afford to create dumb rumours over one man. Act fast if you want him, Jenniave.”

“Thanks!”

As she sees her charge skipping lightly down the stairs, Mellyssa can only shake her head in humour and resignation. She likes his eyes, this much she admits. Not due to the colour resembling a harlot's best friend, for all men are equal. This is a man who knows more about the world than the rest of her customers, sinners and saints alike. His look is a minstrel telling tales of the irredeemable, the windows of his soul a reminder of all things wrong with the world.

As Jenniave grabs a stool and seats herself beside a brooding prince, a well-built man barges into the hall. Square jawed with a sneer, his hand dragged along a girl battered and naked from the waist. Eyes widened with rage and fear, Jenniave knows both the perpetrator and his victim. Though they are of different brothels, she and Lyli have been close friends before their village was razed. Sold to swarthy corsairs of the south, companionship was the only reason why neither sought suicide. Slavery may be illegal in the Empire, but forgery remains a lucrative trade. Get paid and no one owns a slave, authenticity be damned. Nether districts were meant for petty criminals released from their cells, the intent of reforming scoundrels a brutal lie. Give a crook a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him to fish and he will do something else. Such is a filthy cradle, a pathetic attempt to please representatives from Deis four decades after the War of the Three Crowns. No one said Henrod I was incompetent, but that's because he would be called a wife-killing imbecile among other names. His final victim happened to be a cardinal's illegitimate daughter, a nameless bard gone headless composed a song still lewdly sung by sellswords, rogues, and whores.

“Naden! You...”

“Bastard?” leers the offensive brute, a hand placed on his crotch, “I think I just fathered one and I'm suddenly in the mood to have another.”

“Bastard!” screams Jenniave, her hand reaching for him, “I'll kill you!”

Restrained by Mellyssa, the brothel's matron boasts a deceptively strong grip. Naden Colis isn't a pimp to be easily crossed, his violent streak dwarfed only by rumours of overbearing virility. Given a choice, she'd have cut his throat, broil his innards, and serve them to his clients. Sooner or later, he'd have made his way to Vixen's Hatch just to rape a whore.

“It takes a monster to slay a demon. Only a human can kill both.”

Getting up, Lars stares at Naden. Five parts relaxed and five parts tensed, his athletic frame unleashes the aura of a crouching beast. The silence is suffocating, a reminder to Jenniave of a past full of the dead. Gone is a morose man, an unapproachable being now stands in his place. It is as if he is a monster, a judge ready to be the executioner.

“Pah! Who do you think you are? A hero?” sneers Naden, an unconscious victim thrown at Lars' feet, “Pick her up if you dare. Show your back to me if you dare.”

A murder of crows appears, their numbers replacing a pimp's weapon of taunting. As they converge towards their master, Jenniave questions the truth of what she sees. There cradled under another man's arm is Lyli, her delicate figure left behind by the birds. Laying her gently on his seat, Lars' cold steely glare stays fixed onto a stupefied knave.

“I can be reckless but not stupid. Show me your weapon. If you dare.”

Stung like a bully mocked by his victim, Naden Colis let out a bellow and unsheathes his knife. It is a blade claiming many a soul, harlots and fools alike. Unperturbed like a rock before the crashing waves, Lars Alies grabs his attacker by the wrist. His foot firmly pinning a shocked man visibly bulkier, a violent swing aided by circular movement dislocates Naden's shoulder. The pop is disturbingly audible, the howling pain grim music to Jenniave's ears.

Crows of the same murder flock together...

The first verse of a poem sings its tune, a single crow transforming itself into a spear. In Lars' hand, the killing thrust plants its tip into the wooden floor. Its shaft went through a dead man limp, a sinner unrepentant knelt. Flesh and blood swiftly give way to ashes, to dust the executed returns. All but one are astounded by what they see, Mellyssa's seriousness revealing how much she has seen in her years. She is reminded of another man just like him, a Sudhlit whose promise is not to die until the day he beholds a better woman.

Osseus, you supreme bastard. You should have been here watching this.

“I'm sorry for making you watch a monster killing a demon. No one should have the right to see certain things.”

Lars' apology triggers something in Jenniave, her words unleashing mercy in an unmerciful way.

“Don't think we're all retarded bitches, you idiot! You're not a monster. A monster won't give this kind of face after killing a demon! You hear me?”

Before she knows it, the latest addition to Vixen's Hatch has tears flowing her cheeks. When was the last time she cried like this? Many are the monsters seeing themselves as humane, so why should he insist on himself being like them? Is he lying to himself or taking others to be a race of fools?

“Lars Alies.”

“Huh?”

“That's my name. Thank you for believing in a monstrosity like me, my lady fairer than the fairest rose.”

“That's a fine show of monstrosity, my friend!”

Before Lars, a man of dark complexion and rugged features makes his welcome. Jenniave knows such a look, one from the south no different from those guilty of destroying her life. Mellysa places a gentle hand on her shoulder, a finger to the lips and a gentle smile telling her not to be rash.

Without any response to words of jesting tone, Lars bids a company of harlots farewell. In his place, a large murder of crows makes their flight. There is no cawing from their beaks, only serene silence.

“Ah, so he's gone just like that,” sighs the Sudhlit, with a shrug he grabbed a stool for himself, “Do you get such interesting clients daily, Mel?”

“Shut up, Osseus,” snaps Mellysa, a fake show of ire evident for all to see, “You're late by three days. I assume something happened in your latest business trip.”

“You mean a trip to get people killed? I'm a tactician, not a fighter. It's my job to get people killed instead of killing them. And that can be complicated at times.”

)0(

“I see you're here. You're a lonely one, aren't you?”

Aeravor scrutinised the attractive woman strolling towards him, the Relentless One's gaze as unyielding as a beast guarding its ground. This was the one accosting him nights ago, the very same flower of a whore Lars mentioned before. She boasted a good figure, he had to give her that. Brazenly stripping herself naked before men and women alike, Aeravor recalled her face when he walked towards the exit. His eyes saw the anger of slight back then, his instinct sensed bemusement now.

“I've never seen such an interesting man like you. I was right in deciding you're good enough for at least one night free of charge.”

Seated beside a foreigner towering over every man she bedded, Ri'In grabbed the liquor bottle from his hand. Taking a large swig of the brew, she displayed a sated smile.

“Junjo grade,” she whispered seductively near his elongated ear, her bosom pressed tightly against his arm, “Where did you get such a fine brew?”

Taking over the bottle from Ri'In, Aeravor shook the bottle slightly. Emptying the remnant, he casually tossed it down the cliff.

“Took it from a fellow arsehole. He's too busy kicking a beggar, so I stabbed him and grabbed it.”

“And no one screamed?”

“Plenty of screaming but not my problem.”

“That's as cruel as a bottle hitting someone below us.”

Suddenly facing his azure gaze, Ri'In's heart fluttered furiously. This was the look of a man cursed with nothing, a person blessed with nothing to lose. Too many were those who had everything, yet also with nothing. He's the opposite, a vulgar salute to what the world values. She could have lived another life, thus her rage against the world. She sensed in him a kindred soul, yet his brazen mockery made a spectacle out of her ire. What she loved, he cared not. What she hated, he never gave a damn. This was why he walked off instead of pouncing that night, the pride of an arrogant bastard.

“The most beautiful dreams are the unattainable ones,” lamented Ri'In, her aggressive seduction surrendering to Aeravor's arrogance.

“Does it matter a shit? Death comes to all anyway.”

Taken aback by Aeravor's words, Ri'In was nevertheless piqued. Death was always a taboo among the Yaguryo, only a fool would speak of it even during a funeral. As for Aeravor, he was a man of the sword. Inies called him Iarlben, Ji'Yon called him Haganero. It's all the same, a man of steel was meant to be a man of death.

“Death... tell me more.”

“What's there to tell? We all will die.”

“Then what about living?”

“We live because we die. We die, therefore we must live. A fire doesn't die out unless it burns. A fire that doesn't burn is worthless.”

“If there will be a girl captivating your heart, she's either thrice-cursed or most blessed to have you.”

With those words, Ri'In resumed her grip onto Aeravor with a hand on her sash. One single tug and...

“I see you're enjoying yourself, Aera.”

Instinctively, Ri'In erected her guard. Nonchalantly, Aeravor got up. The maiden before them was comely, but the courtesan could recognise an inexperienced lass with a single glance. She never let down her wariness, for she might be that thrice-cursed or most blessed. Her eyes locked into a gaze. Ri'In was amused to see no animosity. But a woman's instinct honed by years of dealing with a cruel world told her something else, that things weren't that simple. A jealous woman would be an angry woman, but not a truly kindhearted one. Perhaps it's fitting a girl like her was inexperienced, that better it's for her stay that way.

“My name is Ji'Yon. Kagetsu no Ji'Yon. We need to talk.”

With a rascal's smile, Aeravor gently scratched Ji'Yon's head. Slapping his hand away, Ji'Yon glared at a smirking scoundrel.

“I'm not a cat.”

“Does it matter? When was the last time I called you a kitten? Yesterday?”

)0(

Aeravor opens his eyes, his back rested against a tree. Seated comfortably, a scene of carnage lies before him. Part of him knew what transpired, a massive portion nonetheless continued the slaughter. From one place to another, lives were lost and demons were slain. But he will not give up living, for he was born dead in his mother's womb. He will not give excuses for his actions, his pride will not tolerate them. If he is to die, let it be. If he is to live another day, let tomorrow persist.

A child's sobbing is heard, the Relentless One seeing the sole survivor crowded by the dead. He remembers what happened, it was a carnage involving demons, a monster, and innocent folks. Another person might have been consoled by demons killed, but not Aeravor. He is a Relentless One, a race of monstrosity whose only meaning in life is to slay demons. In one manner, he's not like them. Through another, a wolf can never be a noble lion. Whenever the Wild Hunt commences, no life matters before impending death.

“What are you crying about?”

The child looks at Aeravor, his visage a snarling beast. In a boy, a man sees himself. Part of himself wonders whether he will die at a youth's hands twenty seasons later, the thought amusing him to no end. Not because of what he is, possibilities are the reason why. Getting up, he walks towards the tensed up cub. Unlike all the while, his hand isn't on the pommel. Squatting down, he stares at a pair of eyes full of tears and bereft of innocence.

“If you want to kill me, better follow me. Otherwise, stay here and die. You have two choices.”

Silence reacts to Aeravor's offer, his smile akin to an arrogant mentor than a murderer. Standing up, he walks past piles of the dead. Nothing needs to be said, every life matters so long death has yet to come. Responding to the truth, the boy warily follows the man.

)0(

“You're asking me to adopt him?”

Anasius eyes the smirking stranger, questions involving a sellsword's audacious request playing games with his mind. The middle-aged parish is no fool, his eyes having observed fellow clergy and knaves alike. A past as a mercenary taught him cruelties of the world, the present teaching him the insidious nature of people like and unlike him. The former preach the need for kindness and charity, the latter a warning of falsehood and hypocrisy. Neither prepared him for this, the Holy Quintet should have warned him through dream or vision.

“Or do you want me to say money talks louder than words and action?”

“That's a cynical way of telling the truth.”

The resultant laughter takes Anasius off his guard, it is one of frankness but without mockery. If an adult can laugh like a child, this would be it.

“A deal then.”

Tossing a pouch of gold crowns onto the table, Aeravor left only for his money to be thrown at his feet. Glowering with anger, the slighted Relentless One places his hand upon the Edge of Answerer in a true elven manner.

“Did I say it's a deal? Don't insult my faith even though many do.”

“Insult your gods? Did they tell you to do this for free?”

“A sellsword's gold is made of blood. I'll take in the child but not your gold. Take back your money. Leave or kill me, but you and I know the aftermath of my deal.”

The silence is unmistakable to the child watching, his heart cheering for the parish. The man of faith stared at a man of the sword, the Wilderbrand refusing to yield in response. Then Aeravor breaks into a quaint smile, a thumb stroking his chin like that prideful intellectual met and kicked days ago.

“Gold made of blood? You have the scent of blood as well. Used to earn such bloody money?”

“A sellsword's sixth sense,” says Anasius, his face stoic before Aeravor's taunt, “The longer you live, the sharper it gets. Did I deny my past? You just didn't ask.”

“You impress me. Truly a man of the gods,” shrugs the Wilderbrand, a gloved hand picking up the gold, “It's not every day my temptation to kill something fades away.”

Throwing the money back onto Anasius table, Aeravor walks away with those words.

“This is my respect to you. Do with the gold as you like.”

)0(

Glossary

Nanshu: The southern islands of the Furthest East/Yaguryo. The geographical equivalent of Kyushu, Shikoku, and Jeju.

Kanshu: The central part of the Furthest East/Yaguryo. The geographical equivalent of the so-called Kanto-Kansai belt.

Sudhlit: Inhabitants of the arid Southlands with Tamuria as the region between it and Causacea. Their complexion is darker than Tamurians with sharp facial features equally common among men and women.

Junjo: One of the three grades of Yaguryo liquor, the other two being Fujo and Honjo. Junjo grade liquor boasts a stronger taste with Honjo having a lighter and fruitier taste. Fujo is of the lower standard and called the people's drink due to its resultant wide availability.

Sunday, 30 January 2022

A Requiem From Winter Past: Chapter 5

AGE WARNING:
This work is one of dark nature. If you're below the age of 16, then you're better off reading something else. I don't profess to follow the rules of my country where only foreigners like G.R.R Martin and Miura Kentaro can write dark fiction.


A Requiem From Winter Past
~The Wolf, Lion, And Maiden Fair~
(Written by Cocteau L'Enfant Naturel)

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Chapter 5: Monsters, Demons, And Gods

"People kill to survive. We survive so that we can live. I'll never say life isn't ugly, but no one can deny there's something beautiful about the dignity driving us all."
~Kagetsu no Ji'Yon

)0(

His anger is an all-consuming conflagration, Aeravor's snarl cursing that one person he once regarded as a friend: Lars Alies the demon hunter, Lars Alies the thrice-damned traitor. They used to start fights and visit the nearest gi'ya, both always together. They annoyed Tai'Jin till no end, the two always a constant source of Ji'Yon's frustration. Then everything went up in flames, every shard of memory the sharpest knife.

“Fight me like a man,” says the Wildebrand with fists tightly clenched, his strength fled from the athletic frame which has conquered whores and foes for countless years.

“Just to make sure I die like one?”

“You don’t deserve to die like one.”

Lars smiles, an accusation levelling its tip at himself. Not a devious grin or a sellsword's leer, but a haunted man's sorrow. As for the Relentless One, forgive and forget is never part of his language. Mercy is reserved only for the weak, those who can't hold a sword properly. It takes a monster to kill a demon, for saintly souls always perish first. As the saying of his own people goes, mongrel or lion means nothing to the wolves.

The Edge of Answerer stubbornly gripped despite searing pain caused by the enemy's Relic, Aeravor displays his defiance through an audible growl. The fighter makes his stand, raging fire stoked inside a forge of flesh and blood. He can’t cede ground to the pain, he can’t concede defeat. Kagetsu no Ji'Yon is the only woman he will ever love, Lars Alies is the one person who must die because of her. Though he knows what the Phantom of Crows can do, it merely means Lars is not the only person wielding a Relic.

“Kill you! Kill you, kill you, I'll kill you! Lars Alies!”

Bellowed vengeance rampages through the forest, spoken words resounding like a bestial roar. In an awesome show of force, the chains immobilising the ranger shatter before every witness. For the first time since Kain rescued her from the slavers, the taste of fear visits Ciras. The peace and tranquillity ruling as king and queen of this place are usurped by incessant wails, curses and every expression of bitterness echoing. Something is disturbing about this rogue, it's as if either he sees the world as his enemy or the other way around. If there is any part of Ciras' past that she would rather die than be reminded of, it'd be her days as a slave raped before she was prepared to be sold as a mere object. Here it is someone retelling a story of monsters, one created by the gods.

It then happened in a momentary flash, a show of utter madness. Lolyx rushes towards the man of ivory, another man of dusk preparing to strike. The Wildebrand vanished and reappears behind his prey, surely all will end in a single blow. Just like that fateful day under the autumn sky, that first day of the eleventh month. Lars' golden eyes narrow immediately, a crow swooping past. From the opposite direction, a silver chain wraps itself around the assailant's neck. Choked from behind and immobilised again, Aeravor glares at the object of his hate. Unable to utter a word, there is only this far an otherworldly fortitude can go. Senses numbed by the restraint, the sellsword struggles to piece together a shattered focus.

"My thanks, little girl. You don’t have to do this."

If Lars’ statement is intended as gratitude, Lolyx would have nothing of it.

“Little girl? Look, I’m already eighteen. You know what this means?”

“Why, yes I do. It means having a stack.”

“What? You know what you’re saying, you deplorable lowlife?”

“Again, yes I do, my dear grown-up kitten. I know your friend over there is also a looker even with her small stack. I guess she's also eighteen.”

Before a banter abruptly sparked, Aeravor gnashes his teeth. It's so much like a past worth many years of hate, a page in history condemning him forever. If there is truly a life worse than one of despair, it would be this. Lars casts a glance towards the person who used to be his friend, an unattainable dream beckoning.

“You know what it means to be best friends forever? I know that sounds dumb, Aera.”

“You’re dumb and drunk, Lars.”

“Dumb, no. Drunk, maybe. Seriously, how can an idiot shaft a whore since he doesn't know where to put it?”

“Too many children's tales then, whoremonger.”

“I guess so. Erm... Aera?”

“What? You want me to shut up about your adventures in the whorehouse?”

“Thanks, my friend. Ji would kill me and hang me upside down if not for your promise of timely aid. She likes children's tales, but it doesn't mean anything once she starts breathing fire and fury.”

“You owe me one, Lars. And no best friends forever unless you want me to kill you instead.”

Without a show of farewell save a wounded man's smile, Lars Alies departs. His form disintegrates into a murder of crows, ceaseless caws ringing like piercing shrieks. Lolyx, Adarl, and Ciras are left stupefied, Kain revealing only a frown. Aeravor's fury rages like a massive bonfire as he is overwhelmed by searing pain, darkness cloaking his sight and usurping his mind.

)0(

“Wait, am I seeing things?”

“I doubt so, Lolyx,” says Adarl, the most grotesque sight heralding its coming. Assuming the shape of naked men, nothing is visible between their legs. If they are meant to be women instead, each torso never exposed a single breast. Their bodies are flayed, each form weeping blood never dripped on the ground. For the first time in her life, Adarl knows what the inhumane looks like. Nothing is seen on their faces, eyes, ears, noses, and mouths... none are present. This is a mob whose only humanity lies in the solid physique, but there is something in them making her tremble with joy and fear. How can this contradiction happen in the first place? Why the fear? And where is the joy? She doesn't want to know, for something within understands the day she gets the answer is the day she risks losing everything.

Cale...

As thoughts of unreciprocated love enter her mind, every bloodied slit opens its formless face. Each gaping rift reveals an eye, its length spanning from forehead to chin. The willowy brunette's mind is instantly obliterated, countless evils invading her awareness. She witnesses all sorts of wickedness any and every person is capable of, the wall between humanity and monstrosity eradicated. Women are raped while trapped in cages, many of them forced to please two to three drooling men at once. Dismembered parts of newborn children are strewn at random places, soldiers of fortune cutting apart pregnant mothers. Many are busy slaughtering each other, each victor in turn slain by his neighbour. Altars are preaching lies, their listeners ignoring the dead. Kings and rulers feast alike, every commoner rich and poor ignoring a dead slave mutilated.

Curse you... damn you...

Open up your legs for us...

All lives be damned...

For us, not them... we are the gods and they are the monsters...

You... what do you desire, sweet young thing?

The last statement breaks Adarl apart, her eyes seeing Cale naked and ploughing her. Then there are Irlia and Ciras tied to a tree, their naked forms brutally ravished by an army of men. As for Lukas Broun, his head is lifted on a pole while his body remains impaled on a spike. There is neither guilt nor outrage, only pleasure. All the worst evils and most pleasurable sins are released from a box previously locked, the key none other than its owner herself.

A stinging slap pulls her back to her senses, naked body exposed to an unnatural cold. Adarl realises Ciras is holding onto her shoulders, a motherly figure shielding a sinner. Guilt assails the heart, her mind struggling against the truth. As for Lolyx, her trembling frame guides Adarl's gaze to a towering frame of black. Gone is the man whose name is Kain, for a knight stands tall. Had not a bastion of black defended their honour, a foul army would have easily raped them all 

“One swipe of his axe and they died just like that...”

Struggling to understand Lolyx's words at first, Adarl soon knows the reason. A pool of crimson separates them from the horde, another such puddle surrounding her. It is as if something cleaved into these monsters, their blood splattered with nothing else left. She remembers the axe Kain wielded with deceptive grace, a weapon any other person would have gripped with two hands instead of one.

“Where is he, Ciras? I mean...”

Despite knowing the obvious, something in Adarl hopes the answer wouldn't be the case. There's something about Kain reminding her of Cale, the picture of a man turned into a beast.

“You're looking at the angry burnt man if that's what you want to know. And please don't ask me why we're safe so long he stays near us. Just don't you dare run off like just now.”

Answering on Ciras' behalf, no mirth is detected in Lolyx's words. The Tamurian is correct, for there's something in a tower of the darkest storm preventing those monsters from surrounding them.

“If you feel cold, it means you're safe,” assures Ciras, the red-haired girl's words taking Lolyx and Adarl by surprise. “Trust me. I've been through this before.”

Kain takes a step forward, then the second and third.

“Wait, what is this burnt idiot doing? Is he trying to kill us by walking away?”

Lolyx's fear ends up unproven, the icy fortress still standing strong. The objects of horror suddenly descend upon a man armoured by darkness, each one's fingers replaced by massive claws. Attacks come wave after wave, each blow ripping open a massive wound. Nausea churning inside her gut, Adarl vomits as the gruesome scene of slaughtered mothers haunts her again and again. As if to taunt her and as if to jeer her, like a demonic jester out to mock her.

Pain lit its flare inside Kain, the beacon of torment fueling his unquenchable fire. His focus never dimming and ever-burning, every swing from the Cleaver of Mountains reduces their number by more than one. From the ground he is at, his weapon annihilates everything even if any stands at a distance away. From where he is standing, assaults against his head and chest are repelled,. Every gash closes up by itself, each injury healed feeding the momentum only a monster is capable of. Where his armour used to be rent, the gaps vanished.

The diabolical entities are swiftly reduced to a score, yet the berserker is now having a harder time. Where it took but a single blow to wipe out three or four, the very same deadly stroke is unable to repeat this feat. Adarl grips tightly onto Lolyx, Ciras wrinkling her frock with both hands. Their black knight hasn't shown signs of fatigue, yet who knows when the possible would arrive? One more goes down to the dust, then the second one follows.

A loud sound of shattered steel suddenly invades the spectators' ears, a roar eerily resembling a wolf's howl shakes the ground. Trees sway violently as if seized by a tempest, the air turning from summer to winter. Greeting Lolyx's widened gaze is a realm of ice and a frozen lake, the tundra bereft of life. But there's something in it, a life of its own. It curses the world for all things given and taken away, the roaring blizzard challenging some manner of a god at work. It's like a brazen rebel cursed with nothing to gain and blessed with nothing to lose, a blasphemer mocking death itself despite his mortality.

“Winter?”

Hearing Ciras echoing her thoughts is nothing less than shocking, a bewildered look paying no heed to Lolyx. It's one thing to behold an illusion, quite another to realise she's not the only one. For all she knows, Ciras might have seen the same thing. Something isn't right as the Tamurian murmurs vulgarities at an annoying blonde no longer around, an empty attempt to vent her frustration. A biting wind brushes past the trio, the cold assailing them as the obnoxious mercenary ignores them. No strides are made, only a walk towards the battle ahead. Ciras tries to warn Kain, her voice ends up trapped in a cage that is her throat. Eyes of azure blue replaced by jewels of crimson red, she's a witness to a mocker's look supplanted by a monster's visage. There's no arrogance in these steps, his shoulders hunched like a beast stalking its prey. He vanishes instantly, three single-eyed monsters hacked down without mercy or reprieve. His quarry isn't Kain, the ones battling him are. Seizing the advantage offered by the unlikeliest ally, Kain makes his advance.

The sight is nothing short of a song sung by bards, two men who were foes now turn themselves into comrades. When they fought each other, sanity was present. Side by side, only madness defines this alliance. The resultant formation is simple, brutal is its efficiency. Kain's power and fortitude serve as shield and cloak, his partner's precision and flashing movements are the spear and dagger. A rain of fire showers sudden judgement upon the remaining ten or so, a storm of icy wind slows them down. With a devastating stroke, Kain slays them all, his attack ripping the survivors apart like a violent gale stripping trees of their leaves.

To every watcher's horror, the sickly mass of liquid around the supposed victors moves towards Adarl. Her mind promptly empties itself, there's only this much she can endure. Without thinking, Lolyx manages to drag her friend away before what is feared materialises. Getting themselves before Kain's feet, the three maidens pay no more than a glance to a being of insanity stepping forth. To face a monstrous giant covered with eyes, its grotesque arms of mangled flesh wielding a spear of bone.

A blinding blanket of white abruptly invades Ciras' mind, her heartbeat slowing down. Gasping for breath, the scene in front of her is one the Teutonian has never seen before. 

Why does it feel so real and sorrowful?

As if in reply to her thoughts, the boy turned around.

“I'm going to become a hero you can be proud of, Ciras. Just wait for it.”

He is standing in the middle of a meadow, sandy blond hair covering his nape and sapphire eyes revealing an innocence befitting of his age. Ordinary features hiding something extraordinary, he reveals a grin untainted by a cruel world. It is a portrait of solitude, for nearby stands a cottage bereft of life. No smoke rises from the chimney, no sound is heard behind closed doors of lacquered wood. Then he walks off, away from the empty house and away from her eyes brimming with tears. The boy starts growing from a scrawny frame to an athletic build, never once does he look back. Is this the journey of a hero? The kind he spoke of?

Realm of ice and force of storms
Mocking death my answer calls
Before foes my blade is keen
Demons and mortals not a god is seen
Arrow's flight and fatal swing
Reprisal and a steely ring
One remains, the world asunder
A wolf stands where all faded

Verses of sorrow and rage shake Ciras back to her senses, a poem of fury singing its ire. The reciter wasn't that unknown boy, his voice belonging to the repulsive scoundrel inexplicably aiding Kain. Her sight recovers in the timeliest manner, wide-eyed horror greeting a scene of someone impaled through the chest. Materialising itself once more, the land of wintry wrath now devours the ground carrying everyone. The haunting image of resurrection appears, death reversing itself through a flash of lightning and frigid wind. The killed becomes the killer, a piercing wound surrounded by frost seen on the monster's chest. The eyes close as if peace has arrived, fire consumes the dead like a parchment fed to a furnace. It's a surreal sight, for who would imagine a diabolical entity understanding tranquillity upon death?

Silence prevails, the victor facing the one he helped. Inner fire unable to sustain the exterior, Kain sheds his armour as darkest steel melts like snow before the springtime sun. Eyes of crimson red remain unchanged, the creature of madness moves towards him. Knowing things have entered another state of peril, the hulking knight is already physically drained from the previous fight. Such is the price of having the River of Inimitable Steel. Using one Relic isn't a burden, but two at the same time would have killed any user. Kain is no ordinary wielder, but not even a monster could have ended up unscathed from the crushing weight oppressing body and mind.

The menacing figure closes in on his newly found quarry, shoulders hunched and arms never straying paints a portrait of death made flesh. A cool gentle wind breezes past those before a murderous intent, a man of similar build and features stands between hunter and prey. His garb is a long coat dark and blue, his pants of a lighter shade and boots of leather grey. Brown gloves cover his hands from below the elbows, a curved blade sheathed is gripped near its small rectangular crosspiece. Unlike the red-eyed monster, his hair is long and flowing. Like the entity during his previous form, the stranger's straight almond eyes are of azure blue.

Deathly silence is the duel between them, an eternity taking place. Then miraculously, he turns and walks away. Not the unnamed saviour but that unknown monster, such is how the standstill ends.

“Aor.”

Words calm and firm catch Adarl, Lolyx, and Ciras off their guard, for they have never seen someone introducing himself in this manner. As for Kain, he takes a stride.

“Enough, Kain Lamrec. I know you want to cut me down. Do not test me.”

Kain knows his full name, something snaps inside his mind. There's something in him denying the truth, that very thing moves him forward by a single step. Aor responds in the same way, his crouching posture preparing to strike.

“This is my final warning, foolish boy knight. Gods do not exist, but know that I am the nearest thing to one.”

Ignoring words of cold mercy, a huge stride takes the raging hulk within striking distance. His eyes burn with unyielding fire, his war cry hauntingly reminds Adarl and Lolyx of Cale. Dismissing the Cleaver of Mountains making its descent, a single flick of Aor's arm begets a flash of steel and a giant's head.

The fight is over as Kain stays rooted on the spot, eyes hard as stone widened before narrowing. Everything inside him screams a warning which must be heeded, for this is a god making his stand. A demon and monster he's unable to defeat, words denying the existence of gods nothing less than truthful mockery. His heart is already racing like a horse provoked by a pack of slavering wolves, his body coated in sweat. Speech departs from his mind, silence becomes his only friend.

“Where are the children?”

Roused from stupor and emotional numbness, Kain turns his sight towards Ciras. Her bravery is a timely balm, a target the white-haired monster of a god is heading to. Helplessness remains as king, a conqueror paralysing him.

Move! Move, damn it!

“A brave man any given day can see, a woman of resolve even years may not be fortunate enough to behold. You, fair maiden, are one such woman.”

Fingers caressing Ciras' chin, Aor's azure eyes gaze into her. Terror seizes the Teutonian, her courage exposing itself as nothing more than a facade. There is no warmth in that touch, it's as if this person has died despite his living breath and visible life in those eyes. Then her panic vanishes, like dew before the noonday sun it ceases.

“They were nothing more than what people like you would call a ghost.”

“Wait, ghosts actually exist?”

Reckless words blurting out from her lips, Lolyx immediately curses herself for being the same kind of person as Cale the cretin. Her father was right all along, that being an idiot has never been a question of who and what but when and whether.

“Ghosts are but a figment of longings and regrets. Laws are pulling the strings and puppets are what you see.”

“You mean yourself? What do you know about that thing causing those monsters to appear?”

Adarl's animosity shocks both Lolyx and Ciras, it's not so much a matter of blame but the undisguised hate against someone who just happened to be there. Getting up with a sigh, Aor turns his back.

“Tell me, coward! What are you afraid of?”

“You demand an answer, an answer I shall give.”

The caressing air heralding Aor's coming announces its arrival once more, it is as if this is the only answer to her anguish. Adarl's mind is now the mirror image of her willowy body, perhaps more fragile. Eyes of bluish calm never shying away from the challenge of a victim's glare, Aor's long white hair billow with the wind. Then he speaks, words concerning a boy he knows so well about.

“A wolf knows best every man, those like him are known by demons as well. It takes a monster to slay a demon, a cycle to prove two sides of the same coin. From evil demons are begotten, from the world monsters are birthed.”

As he departs before the awestruck and seething, the nearest thing to a god leaves behind these words.

“Befriend a wolf and he will tear out your throat. Extend unto him your hand and he shall bite it off.”

)0(

The same thing is happening again, nothing has changed. Aeravor's unconscious self wakes up, the Relentless One descending to the bottom of an icy lake. His eyes are closed, his body remains sober. He's branded an enemy of the world, but that's because Ji'Yon was declared as one in the first place. His only love became a foe because the world couldn't tolerate her way of life, its enmity conceiving vengeance. Part of him was tiring, the other half determined to reach the other end.

The other end of life...

The other end of winter...

The other end of the past...

Will it be the future?

His back gently reaches the bottom of a watery pit, opened eyes greeting an endless stretch of clearest blue. Not that of the sky but one of frigid water. He still can breathe, this means he's alive. He remembers someone calling him Iarlben, one of regal birth and the queen of Homm'Nua with whom he shared the same bed. Aeravor understands the meaning of that word, for this is the only path he knows: A life belonging to the sword and mind of steel, for Iarlben means Steelborn.

Then something erupts inside him, a fiercely burning fire stoked inside a forge. He recalls what was once said to Ji'Yon, it was a beautiful night of festive fireworks. Life is about lighting one's pyre, to set itself alight so nothing will be wasted. There is nothing fanciful about dying, yet here his life stands and laughing at death itself. A mother he never knew made sure a curse could save him, not one of bitterness or words but something else. His mentor's words haunt him, Araea eos Clochneid's statement snapping at his heels at every turn.

“No life deserves to be ended without a chance to live if it's wrong for a person to be hanged without reason. So live on even if you can only do so as Chaos Incarnate. If the world hates you, mock it. If people wear masks all the time, remember these words from a friend long gone: Never a hero and never will be.”

)0(

Glossary
Gi'ya: Yaguryo term for a brothel.

Wednesday, 26 January 2022

ESOtivity Mk 32

Note: This post was started weeks ago and finished yesterday.

This is most likely going to be a post full of rambling, ranting, and raving. Right now, my brain is in semi-hibernation mode. If there's anything I understand about myself, it'd be that my focus thrives and dies by momentum. If there is something for me to focus on, then I can keep going like a Duracell bunny. Once the momentum fizzles out, however, that's it. This is why music is so important. It allows me to maintain focus instead of relaxing.

Someone, please call the Divine Prosecution

Right now, I have five characters on my roster. I might have mentioned it before, but I've made good my decision to roll a Breton Warden. Unlike Darien Gautier, there's no such thing as a Stamina Breton build. Then there's my fifth character. Namely, a Khajiit.

Before I continue, let me point out that the cat may or may not be Baanzai-dar. So if you see a cat with a name that's weirdly Japanese looking, that's not necessarily me.

I find Khajiit to be an interesting race to use. While I've yet to reach the full picture (something which I suspect I can only do by running different Khajiit on different classes), I realised building a Khajiit DPS Nightblade wasn't easy. We're not talking about an Orc Stamina DPS Nightblade where base Weapon Damage can break the 4K ceiling if you know how to play it right. Khajiit seems to be that classic crit-based race where base damage and defence are on the lower end. In other words, it's not that easy. Coupled with the fact post-Update 29 has narrowed down the crit DPS build options, I had some very interesting decisions to make. More specifically, do I want more damage and less sustain or vice-versa? Unlike my other characters, rolling a Jap cat meant I have to risk one end or the other. For Magicka DPS Nightblades, it's a good thing they got Debilitate and Siphoning Attacks. They did help a lot for my Khajiit. However, there's a tricky part: What must I do to ensure using the Shadow Mundus stone effect could be legit?

This is where Alcast came in and say hi. Well, sorta. Now allow me to point out a few things:

1. The article was dated pre-update 29, so I needed to make the necessary modding. This was where others came in and said hi. Personally, I find the range of 6800 to 7000 to be more attainable for crit builds instead of 7K+. If I have to choose between way beyond 7000 and way below 6800, it's definitely the former. Penetration is now harder to cap.

2. Alcast just happened to be my most convenient source. If I want to, I can google names like Hack The Minotaur, Brah We Got This, and Niniskya. Simply put, I'm being lazy.

Ultimately, the mark I set would be either at least 53% (for Nightblades and Templars) or 47% (for Sorcerers and Dragonknights). This means I had to choose between Debilitate and Siphoning Attacks with the other replaced by an Assassination ability so that the critical chance could be set at 53%. More specifically, with a decimal number.

At this point, I need to point out my weapon trait is running on Sharpened. This resulted in Penetration reaching 8K+. Considering Khajiit most likely would be lacking in base damage (i.e. an observation based on what I have), I don't mind that.

At the same time, my personal minimum ceiling for Spell/Weapon Damage for DPS would be 3K. Any number below that means I need to make some decisions with Recovery most likely in the firing line. Good thing Wardens have their netches. I like netches. I really do.

Mk 32 and Gryphon's Fury

I'll be honest here: I got sold on Diamond's Victory until Update 32. Then it happened: Update 32 triggered the strategist in me. I don't consider myself a hardcore player. However, I do see myself as a sandbox player. If something is possible in theory, there's every chance I'd try to see if it really works. Of course, actual crafting materials would be involved. This means I can only be as harebrained as circumstances allow me to. Even Elon "the Tesla dude" Musk needed to burn his money to see whether the Space X car idea was truly as crazy as Sheogorath himself. And we all know no one can ever spend money which is never there in the first place. That's unless you're using your father's credit card.


In a true blue Oda Nobunaga fashion, I decided to do an Idiot of Owari by ditching a full legendary Diamond's Victory set for a full legendary Gryphon's Fury. A combination of Mother's Sorrow and Gryphon's Fury would mean I have to push the critical damage as high as possible. As a result, my choice was 5 light and 2 medium. For better survivability, I opted for medium body armour together with a medium belt. The tricky part came in the form of which Mundus stone to use? The intuitive answer was Thief since it adds up to the critical chance and I needed to proc the critical damage as much as possible.

A recent Asylum Sanctorium guild run, however, convinced me that maybe I've been looking at the wrong place. While I wouldn't be surprised if not every group member was running Hodor's Reflexes, the Hodor table clearly contradicted the ESO encounter log. Under Hodor's Reflexes for DPS, I was the second-highest Hodor just behind the guild leader who happened to be a Nightblade. Under the ESO encounter log, however, I was placed 5th in damage dealing. Being the highest damage-dealing Sorcerer (i.e. there were three of us) didn't matter a Sheogorath's cheese to me. Ditto for the fact I never have a good DPS record in running Asylum Sanctorium and Halls of Fabrication for some reason. If there's a possible way to up the damage score, why not try it?

This came to two questions:

1. Did I mess it up by using Precise instead of Infused?

2. Should 47% critical chance have been enough for me instead of post 50% if I wanted to use Shadow instead of Thief?

One good thing about running a Daggerfall Covenant character is that gaining access to the Thief Mundus stone in Alik'r Desert is as easy as going from point A to point Z in a straight line. Literally. The good thing about the said character doing Cadwell's Almanec? Reaching the Shadow Mundus stone in Greenshade via Marbruk is as easy as going to your nearest convenience store.

This gave me the chance to experiment. There were two ways for me to test this out: Either annihilating a target dummy or obliterating trolls. The former would be the intuitive approach but more of a hassle. The latter would be counter-intuitive but easier depending on whether you've unlocked the Honrich Tower wayshrine at the Rift. And besides, it makes crafting Hunding's Rage gear so much easier.

How I got to go about doing it was this: First, I wayshrined to Shrikes' Aerie to get the Thief. Then I wayshrined to Honrich Tower to experiment on the frost trolls since Trollslayer Gully is synonymous with troll spawning. After killing two of them, I jotted down the damage range. So long I could get the minimum and maximum damage count, it's good enough. Then I wayshrined to Marbruk, switched to Shadow, and re-experiment.

While I won't say I have the genius of Han Xin and Fa Zheng, I'd say I have their memory span. Not only can I remember the ones doing me injustice from Henderson Primary School to ITE Dover with Gan Eng Seng (Secondary) School in between, remembering the DPS numbers I got before I decided to experiment the switch was surprisingly easy. Before that, my DPS range for troll killing is at a consistent 18K range. With Thief and Infused trait, the numerical range went up to 18K-22K. Switching to Shadow was the fun part: The DPS range was at 18K to 23K.

What that meant would be...

1. In terms of solo content involving trolls, Shadow was slightly better than Thief.

2. Despite this, the outcome hinted at a better DPS in a group boss fight. The longer the fight, the more critical hits I'd land. At the same time, opting for Infused instead of Precise means my overall base damage would be better especially due to a combination of the Lightning Damage glyph and Energized passive.

A Japanese speaking Japanese in an English speaking guild? インポシブル!!!!!!!
More specifically two of them. To be honest, I found it to be a pleasant surprise although there's no way I was able to communicate with them. I may know a bit about Japanese culture and history, but that's because of a curiosity that my country's educational system is unable to destroy.

Nevertheless, the language barrier wasn't an excuse for them to type in Japanese one after the other. This is not to say the Japanese don't understand English. If there's anything one of the most hilarious moments in recent Kansai history had taught us, it'd be that the Japanese don't need the likes of University College London, Georgetown University, and Columbia University to have a laugh.

In retrospect, it's interesting that the Japanese duo (I say duo because I don't know their gender) decided to type in Japanese instead of English. This prompted me to google how the zone filter in the game chat work. More specifically the Japanese end. Guess what I unearthed?

To have a decent idea of how difficult it is for a non-Japanese game to impress the Japanese from Hokkaido and Tohoku to Kyushu and Shikoku, let me use two celebrity weddings as a comparison.

On one end of the aisle, you have the marriage between Park "confirmed a better Park-Choi story than the original one" Shin-hye and Choi "confirmed a better Choi-Park ending than the original one" Tae-joon. People are talking about it and it's only natural for any decent human being to wish the couple all the best in the days ahead.

Then on the other, you have Aragaki "unrelated to Gaki no Tsukai" Yui announcing her marriage to Hoshino "not Urobuchi" Gen. Beyond Japan, I guessed no one talked about it. Within Japan, however, there's apparently some kind of national meltdown towards a national waifu no longer there and waiting to be replaced (apparently, that'd be Yoshioka "Yoshi-R" Riho if internet news is to be trusted).

The difference in global exposure happened to be an indication of how insular Japan is as a nation. On one hand, the toxicity of Western politics failed to firebomb the nation from Hokkaido and Tohoku to Kyushu and Shikoku. On the other end, necessary changes were hamstrung. In other words, the anomaly within Japan is bound to apply to other areas including gaming. This made ESO's presence no small feat especially given Final Fantasy XIV's status as Japan's national MMO. Seriously, even Sakaguchi "not Ango" Hironobu said so.

This comes to how likely is it for a native Japanese player to join an English speaking guild since there's already a specific Made-In-Japan version. In fact, language is both a wall that separates and ties that bind. It's quite interesting since people always go for the language they're most comfortable with. In short, it's only natural for native Japanese players to visit the official Japanese site instead of the official site. This is truly what makes the presence of two apparent native Japanese players in my guild as intriguing as Breton politics. Just don't ask me whether Yoshi-R is one of them because it's a question as dumb as asking me whether the other one is Yoshi-P.



New zone+new story=Elder Scrolls VI?
Only 2 days more and we're going to have the grand reveal from the West to Japan. When ZOS first teased the new expansion as going to a place never before seen, I hazarded a guess and say it's Akavir. The nature of the trailer, however, may have indicated others were right in saying it'd be at the High Isle.

There's no denying the Celtic feel to the trailer music. Since Akavir is inspired by the Oriental East, the music couldn't have indicated it's Akavir. On the other hand, High Rock is largely inspired by the Celto-Roman culture responsible for giving us the Arthurian legends of yore (the Reachfolk would be more of the Proto-Celtic people defined by earlier tales like the Ulster Cycle and Tuatha Dé Danann).

But what if it's actually about the Direnni elves? Let's make a daring assumption here: What if a descendant of the Direnni Altmer decided to stage a separatist war? After all, a Direnni kingdom for the Direnni sounds patriotic, right? But what if the Direnni are either too few or nigh non-existent? In the events of Elder Scrolls: Daggerfall, only one NPC was of Direnni blood: Medora Direnni. While this means a Direnni can start the new story at High Isle, it also implied that there wouldn't be many of them left by the Sixth Century of the Second Era. In other words, the so-called Direnni kingdom may be more about one to remember the glory of Direnni rule and replicate it upon... yep, you guessed it right: High Rock.

A Direnni separatist movement may sound like the Altmer version of the Stormcloak rebellion, but it could serve as the storyline for The Elder Scrolls VI. I'd say two possible scenarios:

1. The Thalmor retained their grip on Cyrodiil. As a result, they decide to orchestrate an invasion into the regions of High Rock, Hammerfell, and Orsinium.

2. The events of Skyrim made sure the Thalmor's hold on Imperial lands got Fus-Ro-Dah'ed, Alduin or no Alduin. As a result, whatever events surrounding northwestern Tamriel would indicate the Thalmor are forced to invade High Rock, Hammerfell, and Orsinium. Speaking of getting Fus-Ro-Dah'ed...

If this storyline goes through (not that I'm going to be responsible for that), it'd be interesting to see whether faction choosing is going to be less patriotic and more political. Three factions for the player to choose: High Rock (Bretons), Hammerfell (Redguards), and Orsinium (Orcs).

Within each faction, there may be sub-factions.

High Rock:
Ring of Daggers and King's Guard. The former believed in a unified Breton kingdom under a High King while the latter is the legacy of King Ranser of Shornhelm out to secure independence for the entire Rivenspire region.

Hammerfell:
Crowns and Forebears. In the aftermath of the Lhotunic faction's downfall, Hammerfell enters an uneasy peace between two feuding factions. The Crowns insist the old ways are enough for the Redguards to thrive and prosper while the Forebears insist on diplomacy with the Bretons as the best defence.

Orsinium:
Faith of Trinimac and Cult of Mauloch. Ever since the polarising rule of Kurog gro-Orsinium, the Orsimer were no strangers to the conflict between two religions. Brother set against brother and neighbour against neighbour, the future of Orsinium hinges on whose god is the one true god. But before that, the Orcs have a debt of gratitude to settle when the Imperials made sure there remained a future for the Orsimer people after Orsinium was sacked for the third time.