#yolo because #yodo Pt III

http://republicofotters.blogspot.com/2018/10/yolo-because-yodo-pt-i.html

http://republicofotters.blogspot.com/2018/10/yolo-because-yodo-pt-ii.html

Well, here is Pt 3. Hopefully, I can get this done. If not, I'll need a Pt 4. Before I continue, let me point out two things.

1. This post will start from where I last left off. Namely, Kuok Kah's advice to Cao Cao concerning Lu Bu. At the same time, I'll try to include comparisons between his Thesis of Ten Victories and Defeats and Xun Yu's Thesis of Four Victories and Defeats.

2. Because part of this post will involve womanising, I've got a decent idea on who to feature next. Again, he's of the Three Kingdoms Fame. Unlike boys and men, he's never one to objectify women. It doesn't matter to him how beautiful she is, how sexy she is, and whether I'm talking about Emilia 404. For the sake of convenience, let's call him General Loong. I don't blame the #MeToo movement for this because Donald Trump (accidentally) inspired me to pull off the Loong.

乱世英雄卧常山

幼龙白马归刘汉

当阳长坂震曹军

江阳汉水立虎威

猛将之烈钢枪起

智将无双虚阵明

一身是胆厚重心

不畏千军万马临

翊军征南良臣缘

中护镇国顺平宣

Note: Keira Valkyrie was just (accidentally) pointing out the error of role model worship, but there's nothing wrong for boys and men to learn from General Loong when it comes to respecting women who are politically objectified for nefarious purposes.

Add note: After going through this post, I realised the quality is terribly lame. Just sayin'. But I'm not going to change anything since I'm mostly messing around. If not totally.

Okay, let's continue...

[太祖笑曰：“如卿所言，孤何德以堪之也！”
嘉又曰：“绍方北击公孙瓒，可因其远征，东取吕布。不先取布，若绍为寇，布为之援，此深害也。”
太祖曰：“然。”]

Translate:
Cao Cao laughed and said, "If what you've said is true, I feel really flattered."
Guo Jia said, "Yuan Shao is now occupied in a war with Gongsun Zan in the north. We should head east to attack Lü Bu. If we don't eliminate Lü Bu first, when Yuan Shao attacks us and Lü Bu assists him, we'll be in deep trouble."
Cao Cao replied: "Agreed."

Above part is the end of Fuzi's account of Kuok Kah's job interview. At this point, Cao Cao still had to deal with Yuan Shao. Yet, it must be also stated that Yuan Shao was stronger than Cao Cao. While the intuitive approach was to take on Yuan Shao, Kuok Kah advised against it. Not directly, but rather indirectly. Telling your boss to attack Lu Bu instead of Yuan Shao first is like understanding which battle is more important come 6th Nov. We all know Taylor Swift sang Shake It Off as her gift to the Democrats. Should it be the House of Representatives or the Senate? We all know the song that goes "Everybody Wants To Rule The World". But what if you can't do so? By telling Cao Cao to go for Lu Bu instead of trying to attack Yuan Shao first, Kuok Kah was effectively telling his boss to place the Senate as the top priority. After all, the House of Representatives can afford to wait for another two years unless there's some kind of insider source telling Trump that the Democrats will fail to seize the Senate.

As it turned out, not only did Cao Cao agreed to Kuok Kah's proposed strategy, the stable genius they called Guo Fengxiao ended up masterminding the victory against ISIS. Yazidis have Nadia Murad to thank for speaking out on their behalf, Christians have Guo Fengxiao to thank for (indirectly) taking down Mosul and Raqqa. More details in the next post, but let's just say that N years before ISIS declared their nation, the man whose name rhymed with the Chinese term for nation had this to say about Lu Bu. And ISIS as well.

[“昔项籍七十馀战，未尝败北，一朝失势而身死国亡者，恃勇无谋故也。今布每战辄破，气衰力尽，内外失守。布之威力不及项籍，而困败过之，若乘胜攻之，此成禽也。”]

Translate:
"Xiang Ji was undefeated for more than seventy battles, yet he lost the momentum, thereby resulting in his death and the demise of his country. All this was because of overconfidence in his bravery while lacking foreplanning. Now that Lu Bu is being defeated at every battle, his strength is now sapped with the defence lacking in both outside and within. Lu Bu's ability is never on the par with Xiang Ji and he is now overwhelmed by defeat and fatigue. If we continue to press forth, he will be captured."

AG Jeff Wong hates me!

True or false? Let's take a look at the text below.
[初，陈群非嘉不治行检，数廷诉嘉，嘉意自若。]

Translate:
From the beginning, Chen Qun was unhappy with Guo Jia's unruly ways. Despite his behaviour reported numerous times, Guo Jia remained calm. With this face above.

It's obvious, isn't it? The AG had a problem with Kuok Kah. Not Jeff Sessions, not Lucien Wong, but some AG Tan. Not to be confused with BG Tan who is currently the Speaker of the Parliament of Singapore, AG Tan was more specifically known as Chen Qun. Known for his integrity and impartiality, AG Tan Khoon has to be the ideal Supreme Court pick every Republican and Democrat can agree on. If only the world has more than just a BG Tan.

And since AG Tan could have been the Supreme Court nominee every American is clamouring for (that is if he's both alive and an American Asian), it's only morally right to say there's something seriously wrong with Kuok Kah's unruly behaviour. So what were the possible problems Kuok Kah had that got AG Tan hot under the collar?

Possible problem 1: Kuok Kah enjoyed insulting other people's intelligence

Since Kuok Kah didn't have time for Facebook (he's most likely the kind of guy whose FB friends are no more than 200-300), it means he didn't have time for racists, misogynists, and irrational people from the left and right. Needless to say, he didn't have time for people like these below.

Senate's IMPOSSIBRU! verdict:

I have to give this verdict for a reason: While it's possible for Kuok Kah to insult dumb people, it's very likely that's not the reason why AG Tan sued him before the Cao Wei Senate. The reason why being that Kuok Kah wasn't the most abrasive fellow in Cao Cao's administration. Believe it or not, the expert in insulting other people's intelligence wasn't Kuok Kah.

[“愚民不可计事。”]

Translate:

"The foolish are not fit to partake in things."

The person saying this was none other than Cheng Yu. Also known as the King of Insults and the Counterintuitive, he's definitely the most qualified person to scold the current world upside-down.

Possible problem 2: Kuok Kah liked beer

I know this sounds terribly Brett Kavanaugh (then again, there are many in Clarke Quay who like beer). So how possible was it? First, too much beer is the cause of judgement impairment. People kill others and themselves by drink driving, that's no joke. Giving the girl too much beer means you're up to no good, that's no joke either. As for getting drunk during any high school party... well, I can only say be careful. Lest you fall over the balcony without getting laid. I won't say that'd be terrible, but it's definitely the most humiliating way to end your life.

Senate's IMPOSSIBRU! verdict:

Impossibru and another Impossibru. While I'm not sure how addled Cersei got after chugging pints of wine (mainly because beer is for the low SES people), it's impossible for Kuok Kah to allow a love for beer to impair his job performance. Cao Cao was never about nepotism, he's 100% meritocratic. So what if he enjoyed a pint or two after work? That's different from a lack of self-control. Just don't ask me whether every Brett Kavanaugh will swear off the beer from this day onward.

Possible problem 3: If my boss can womanise, so can I

If your boss can womanise, it doesn't mean you can. You're in control of your urges, not your boss' hornometer. It must be said that Cao Cao was a womaniser. In fact, there was this one time where his womanising habit got himself into trouble. This was against Zhang Xiu. By right, it should have ended at Zhang Xiu's willing surrender. But hell no! That Cao Cao actually grabbed his uncle Zhang Ji's wife/concubine! So what if Zhang Ji died before this happened? Respect may be optional in today's era, but it's 100% a must during those times. So what if Zhang Ji was an old man? We're talking about an era where little girls were married off like Barbie dolls purchased by random shoppers! So how beautiful was Lady Zou? Quite obviously, I don't have her portrait. Let alone her photo. But I can try my best...

**** you, Cao Cao. Just... **** you. For one beautiful widow, one of your sons died and one of your generals died as well. Your son Cao Ang died so that you can run away and Dian Wei died in order to protect your sorry arse from being busted. Seriously, Cao Cao. **** you. Just... **** you. Do you know how smart this stable genius of a bastard below is?

His name is Jia Xu, courtesy named Wenhe. Known to have the stable genius of Zhang Liang and Chen Ping, DO YOU KNOW HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS????? Dumbass, you should have figured out that Zhang Xiu got this one hell of a stable genius at his side.

Senate's IMPOSSIBRU! verdict:

Believe it or not, there's no IMPOSSIBRU! face coming from Emilia 404. In fact, I googled for the keywords "emilia clarke impossibru". After all, if Cersei can IMPOSSIBRU!, so can the Khaleesi. Since we're talking about the internet, I won't be surprised if this is gonna happen.

Anyway, Kuok Kah being a womaniser like his boss would be the likeliest reason behind getting censured by AG Tan. Ancient China was no different from modern-day Singapore in the sense that you can do anything so long...

1. You don't break the law.

2. You don't get caught. I've spent 2 years in national service even though my psychiatrist was the reason why I got a permanent PES E. So what this means is this: Do anything but don't get caught.

Compared to getting drunk or scolding people, it's arguably easier for Kuok Kah to womanise and get away with it. After all, mental focus is the reason why strategists exist. This was also why if placed in the same circumstances, Khal Drogo and Jon Snow wouldn't have died from having a weak constitution. Trust me, that's the cause of a stable genius' death just before Cao Cao declared war on Liu Biao.

Special mention: Giving nicknames and being a nuisance by default

In a nutshell, it means winding people up. Giving nicknames can be fun, but can you imagine Kuok Kah calling Xun Yu a royal sempai? It's like me calling Queen Elizabeth I the royal granny. How about Cheng Yu? Salty Fish. Actually, there's already one living in Lake Life@Taman Jurong. Sorry, that one is Salted Fish, not Salty Fish. Salty Koreans due to this? You bet. It's like calling AG Tan... well, Salty AG Tan. Jia Xu could pass off as Faker because he's an expert in survival tactics. Sima Yi would be Sibeh Zhongda just like how I'm sometimes tempted (?) to call Ryan... well, Ryan Shawcross due to that tackle 6 years ago. No, I didn't fail my maths. As for Zhang Liao, he could be called Minister Teo Boon Wan.

At the end of the day, above jokes shouldn't be tried for a reason: They're lame. Very lame. Then again, lame jokes do not affect how well you can wind up those around you. The same for Kuok Kah.

#yolo because #yodo Pt II

My brain is recovering at the moment. This is due to fatigue. Hence, I have to skip a lesson. Hopefully, Felix the Cat won't get me for this. Since I need something to freshen up my brain, I decide that writing stuff is the best way. At the same time, I realised Pt 1 did read like some sort of political analysis. Thankfully, I don't work as a political pundit. Because I'd have to ownself fire ownself before my boss fires me. Guess this is what happens when you're left all alone in this world. *shrugs*

http://republicofotters.blogspot.com/2018/10/yolo-because-yodo-pt-i.html

Okay, so let's continue...

[绍因累世之资，高议揖让以收名誉，士之好言饰外者多归之，公以至心待人，推诚而行，不为虚美，以俭率下，与有功者无所吝，士之忠正远见而有实者皆原为用，此德胜六也。]

Translate:

Yuan Shao uses his fame to attract people to serve him and boost his name. His followers are mostly people who are able to disguise their flaws through persuasion and glib talk. You are sincere towards your followers and do not recruit them for the purpose of increasing your fame. Many loyal and truly capable people are willing to serve under you. You win him in virtue.

You don't attract good players with cash and prestige alone. Yes, the two are important. Just look at individuals like Wu King of Zhou and Cao Cao. Who did they get? The likes of Jiang Ziya and Kuok Kah. Look at teams like Barcelona and Real Madrid. Who did they manage to get? The likes of Ivan the Great and #GB11. Resources are important, they're used to attract talented people. But not all who come are truly talented. Like how the capable and inept both exist in the same room (a tale too common when it comes to kingdoms, kings, and political parties), one does not simply group Fa Zheng together with Xu Jing. Because the former was a real talent (albeit his character was arguably as bad as Donald Trump) while the other was a talk cock sing song stooge (most likely that'd be me unless November 6 proved otherwise).

Let's look at Bournemouth. Do the South Coast Cherries have the cash? Given how Abba's anthem of capitalism managed to play the prophet, you can't blame the likes of Lady Amelia Windsor for having a job. Do they have the prestige? Please, where were they when Alan English ownself fire ownself in 2006? But who do they have? Only one bloke. And he's none other than the Great Wizard Howe (not to be confused with something else done by Miyazaki Hayao).

You see, Cao Cao's situation mirrored exactly that of the South Coast Cherries. Why did I say this is very simple: The reason why Howe's Moving Castle is currently floating at a lofty number 6 isn't just a testimony of Howe's awesome wizardry. His exceptional man management is exactly what Kuok Kah was talking about concerning Cao Cao's virtue. Different word, same definition. Don't believe what I said? Unlike Brett Kavanaugh, I have an actual witness to prove Cao Cao's virtue=Great Wizard Howe's man management.

[绍见人饥寒，恤念之形于颜色，其所不见，虑或不及也，所谓妇人之仁耳，公于目前小事，时有所忽，至于大事，与四海接，恩之所加，皆过其望，虽所不见，虑之所周，无不济也，此仁胜七也。]

Translation:

When Yuan Shao sees others suffering from hunger and cold, he will express his concern towards them. However, he will not do so if their sufferings are not obvious. This is a form of unwise care and concern. You sometimes neglect less important things but when you handle big situations, you are connected to the masses within the Four Seas and the rewards you give out are far greater than Yuan Shao's fame. Even though this may not be obvious, your care and concern towards others are complete. You win him in benevolence.

The awesome preacher Nicholas D.Wolfwood once famously said this.

We're nothing like God. That included Yuan Shao. This was why Kuok Kah reserved the harshest criticism possible for him. In ancient China, words like benevolence and righteousness were the historical equivalent of the #MeToo hashtag. It's not a joke, I can assure you. Against foreign invaders, self-defence was always the best reason. Against your own people, that's where morality and honour came into the picture. Yuan Shao knew it. And he used it. His problem and Kuok Kah's problem with him? He's just faking it. Yes, give to poor! But what about that penniless widow? Yes, let's plead the cause of the suffering! Excuse me, we got a rape victim waiting to be helped. Moral hypocrisy is not just a case of our limited powers, but also the fact that we are driven to become the devil himself. More specifically, either we're being driven willingly or we end up becoming monsters after being numbed to the very core. This is why I say Nicholas D.Wolfwood was such an awesome preacher. He's not just preaching to himself and Vash the Stampede. He's also preaching to Singaporeans, Americans, and everybody else.

Ironically, Cao Cao was also nothing like God. To set the record straight, he did commit atrocities. The massacre he caused at the Xu Province was effectively an act of a crazy guy. So what if your dad got killed by bandits? It wasn't Tao Qian's fault that he hired the wrong people for the correct job! But still, Cao Cao went ahead. And what about Xun Yu and Cui Yan? Both were driven to death by the same boss despite their loyalty and integrity. But was Cao Cao just another First Emperor Qin? There's a reason why the people revolted after this emperor's death. Otherwise known as the Second Qin Emperor or 秦二世, this ****ing moron failed to control the people's wrath. Not just because someone named Zhao Gao was controlling him, but also due to Daddy Dearest's tyranny. Despite adopting the approach of governing the people via strict law and order, Cao Cao wasn't this kind of despot. He left enough breathing space for the people, but definitely not enough for the likes of Brock Allen Turner.

Because Cao Cao was nothing like God, it means he only had limited powers. Unlike Yuan Shao, however, he was willing to defend both the penniless widow and that rape victim. There's no way he could save everyone under the sun because it's literally impossible even in times of peace. Let alone an era of inner conflict. Cao Cao knew this and he treated this fact far more seriously than Yuan Shao.

As a result, his reputation grew and his charisma burgeoned. In ancient China, integrity and honour counted for a lot. Yet, actions always speak louder than words in the same way a sincere show of honesty always trumps a token show of morality. This was why Cao Cao trumped Yuan Shao despite both being nothing like God and having limited powers. Moral of the story? He's never Superman or the male version of Wonder Woman, but you can be very sure he's Emiya Shirou from Unlimited Blade Works. And Archer as well if we're talking about the innocent deaths incurred along the way.

[绍大臣争权，谗言惑乱，公御下以道，浸润不行，此明胜八也。]

Translate:

Yuan Shao's followers are often bickering and politicking and they give libelous and troublesome advice. You govern your followers with the right principles, so corruption does not occur under your leadership. You win him in wisdom.

I recall there's this one classmate during my years as a full-time student in ITE Dover. He was a bully and he once said to me, "You don't **** around with me, okay?" Like a Fa Zheng, I still remember his English name. When I was a Sec 2 student at Gan Eng Seng School (there wasn't any Gan Eng Seng Primary School back then because Ms Ho Peng apparently had no intention to ram this idea down the Education Minister's throat), there's this classmate who assassinated my character just to make himself look righteous. Like a Fa Xiaozhi, I still remember his full name.

The problem with Yuan Shao's cronies was exactly the kind of people I had to deal with at school. Ju Shou was chucked aside because of this. Tian Feng was chucked into jail and died as the result for the same reason. And Fa Zheng went crazy like a Danish boss called Hamlet for this very reason as well.

What about Cao Cao then? First, Cao Cao would never say "boys will always be boys" in the face of a moral crisis caused by one of his own men. Yes, he used to be a boy. But so what? You did something dumb, you clean up your own mess. If you know how to wipe your own backside after a session in the toilet cubicle, it means you don't expect others to do it for you. Not even your father, mother, or grandparents. Cao Cao's wisdom could be summed up in this way: He who wipes his own backside knows the value of not wiping another person's backside.

[绍是非不可知，公所是进之以礼，所不是正之以法，此文胜九也。]

Translate:

Yuan Shao cannot distinguish between right and wrong. You respect someone when you think he has done right and you punish someone when you feel he has done wrong. You win him in culture.

Seriously, did Kuok Kah truly believe Yuan Shao to be that dumb? Literal inability to distinguish between right and wrong belongs to dead people. This linked back to what Kuok Kah said about Yuan Shao's followers. The inability to distinguish between right and wrong in this context was never about whether Yuan Shao was a mindless zombie waiting to be shot. Rather, it reflected a worrying problem with human nature all the while.

What kind of sorcery is this? Mothers, please do NOT tell your daughters that the Duchess of Cambridge is their mom. Fathers, please do NOT tell your sons that John Terry is their father. Or do you parents want me to quote Mr Low Thia Khiang himself?

As for Cao Cao, he respected his men without compromising on his principles. A notable example would be when one of his generals Yu Jin was forced to delay his Senate trial before Cao Cao. So guess what happened in the end?

[绍好为虚势，不知兵要，公以少克众，用兵如神，军人恃之，敌人畏之，此武胜十也。]

Translate:

Yuan Shao likes to display bravado and is not aware of the crucial elements in war. You overcome an enemy superior in numbers with a smaller force, just like a god of war. The soldiers look up to you, your enemies fear you. You win him in military skill.

One of the problems plaguing Les Gunners before they become the Los Gunners of today is this: What's the use of passing the ball around if you can't score like a Fergie or hold fort like a Karanka? Overcoming an enemy superior in numbers with a smaller force was never a case of Jewish rocket science. You don't need to be an Einstein to understand the importance of a swift break-and-counter. They've tried it and done it, be they #RoboKlopp or #Pulisman, Sir A. Fergie or the Great Wizard Howe. It's not exactly something only the Irish are known for, so you don't even have to try it before knocking it.

In football, creating an effective offensive fulcrum can do wonders. Done properly, you can even inspire your own lads while making other lads fear you. Take for example England. At this moment, the Three Lions still look like One And A Half Pussycats. This is because Beaumains Southgate needs to get two things right: A central midfield capable of passing the ball as well as the back 3 (this is not a joke because that's what I saw in Engrand's semi-final loss against Croatia). The second thing waiting to be set right? Go ask Ross Charles Barkley. Two fast wingbacks, two decently technical central mids, and one hell of a Rocket Barkley. At the risk of creating a Wayne Rooney out of Rocket Barkley (trust me when I say Rooney's existence in the national dressing room was effectively another Grannygate), I have to say fuel the Rocket and unleash the beast in Barkley.

So what about Los Gunners? El Emerytus, do you still remember Aaron Ramsey? Yeah, that Ramsey who's unrelated to Gordon Strachan. Forget about Ryan's tackle on him, that also happened to me as well (I kid you not, the guy who rugby tackled in a moment of adrenaline rush was also Ryan Shawcross). Just remember one important thing: Get him to sign a new deal and start playing him as your Número Diez. I'm serious here. If Barkley can be England's Godzilla, it means Ramsey can be Los Gunners' Humanoid Typhoon.

Erm, no. Not this Godzilla, please. The entire nation of England is begging all you tabloid-mongers from the Sun to the Mirror not to make Barkley into this kind of Godzilla.

To be cont'd...

Next up: Okay, Pt III will feature why Cao Cao's AG Jeff Wong got a problem with him. That plus the Top Moments of Kuok Kah's Stable Genius.

初，陈群非嘉不治行检，数廷诉嘉，嘉意自若。

[From the beginning, Chen Qun was unhappy with Guo Jia's unruly ways. Despite his behaviour reported numerous times, Guo Jia remained calm. With this face above]

#yolo because #yodo Pt I

Okay, previously in my post on Sima Yi, I stated that the next guy I'm going to do a write-up on would be the great military genius Guo Jia. Otherwise known as Kuok Kah (i.e. that is if he's a Singaporean), this fellow could be seen as the Wei faction counterpart of Zhuge Liang. So was Sima Yi the actual Wei counterpart to Zhuge Liang or should it be Guo Fengxiao? Before I start this part, allow me to introduce what kind of local talent Kuok Kah was.

Disclaimer!

Views in this post belong solely to yours truly. I don't profess to graduate from universities like Xiamen or Qinghua. At the same time, none of my lecturers went by the name of Prof Yi Zhongtian above or Prof Wang Liqun below.

Also, please note that I'll be using the later version of the historical text compiled by Pei Songzhi while certain translations would be taken from Wikipedia. Lastly, Kuok Minghui is unrelated to Kuok Kah. My ancestry hailed from the most vulgar place in China called Fujian. Kuok Kah, on the other hand, hailed from the cultured region around the Yellow River.

Note: For translation, I'll be using Wikipedia due to this.

[郭嘉字奉孝，颍川阳翟人也。〈《傅子》曰：嘉少有远量。汉末天下将乱。自弱冠匿名迹，密交结英隽，不与俗接，故时人多莫知，惟识达者奇之。年二十七，辟司徒府。〉初，北见袁绍，谓绍谋臣辛评、郭图曰：“夫智者审于量主，故百举百全而功名可立也。袁公徒欲效周公之下士，而未知用人之机。多端寡要，好谋无决，欲与共济天下大难，定霸王之业，难矣！”

于是遂去之。]

Translate:

[Guo Jia courtesy named Fengxiao was a native of Yangdi county at Yingchuan commandery. {From Fuzi: Guo Jia was gifted with foresight since his youth. When the Han dynasty was about to descend into chaos, he decided to live in anonymity. Making friends with exceptional individuals, he did not mingle with the outside world. Hence, many didn't know about him. However, those who did were impressed by him. At the age of twenty-seven, he served in the office of the Minister Over The Masses.} At the beginning when meeting Yuan Shao in the north, he told Yuan Shao's two advisers Xin Ping and Guo Tu: "The wise man must be good at judging his lord's character in order to realise his full potential and achieve great things. Duke Yuan desired to emulate Duke Zhou in terms of respecting talented people. Yet, he was unable to understand how to use the truly capable. He is unable to sift the important from the unnecessary and one who is not decisive despite capable of many ideas. If I am to work with him to establish a lasting hegemony, it would be hard indeed!"

Thus, he left.]

A few things to note here.

1. Yingchuan during those times was known for a very special local product. In Singapore, the government always enjoy talking about foreign talent. For Yingchuan, the local speciality would be the local talent. You can be very sure the likes of Xun Yu, his nephew Xun You, and Xi Zhicai were never the kind of local talent stated here.

2. Kuok Kah was very choosy when it came to making friends. This guy was no racist (mainly because there's only one ethnicity in ancient China). At the same time, this fellow was definitely no elitist. Elitists would want to suck up to the prominent, be they Barack Obama or Michelle Wolf, Donald Trump or Roseanne Barr. As for Kuok Kah, he'd never give a damn about names.

3. Kuok Kah was smart. Not only were the very few intelligent people impressed with him, he actually got a job at the office of Minister of Masses (i.e. Ministry of Masses, but not to be confused with another MOM in Singapore). History didn't explain what kind of post, but the Minister of Masses was one of three most powerful political offices only below the Emperor and Chancellor. The Minister of Masses during those times was tasked with overseeing the welfare of the people. A bit like the Secretary of Homeland Security, but more powerful. You can effectively say that in ancient China, there were three State Departments.

4. If Yuan Shao reminds you of someone or some country, it means you're thinking too much. I won't say go smoke some ganja, but I'd say chill and listen to some Taylor Swift or Taeyeon.

5. Interestingly, the name Guo Jia rhymes with the Chinese term for country/nation. Needless to say, Kuok Kah is also the Hokkien term for the same concept. Maybe Fujian isn't so vulgar after all since that's where Xiamen University is at.

6. Best way to rage quit? Ownself fire ownself before the boss fires you. While this is a joke, there's nothing funny about Yuan Shao's treatment of Ju Shou (i.e. genius planner who got chucked aside) and Tian Feng (i.e. genius tactician who got himself killed for being too upright like Bob Corker) who were arguably the two smartest guys in a room full of fawners and less-than-capable (although the latter shouldn't be lumped together with the former by default). Moral of the story? Be smart, be like Kuok Kah.

7. Kuok Kah's days bumming around in the MOM actually took place after he ownself fire ownself. This is evident once you read the following text.

8. Speaking of ownself firing ownself, we're already seeing the likes of Bob Corker, Bill Haslam, and Trey Gowdy being smart like Kuok Kah. As for Ben Sasse, it seems that he's hell-bent on being the next Zhou Chang.


[先是时，颍川戏志才，筹画士也，太祖甚器之。早卒。太祖与荀彧书曰：“自志才亡后，莫可与计事者。汝、颍固多奇士，谁可以继之？”
彧荐嘉。召见，论天下事。太祖曰：“使孤成大业者，必此人也。”
嘉出，亦喜曰：“真吾主也。”
表为司空军祭酒。]

Translate:
In the beginning, there was a planner from Yingchuan named Xi Zhicai who was greatly valued by Taizu (i.e. Cao Cao). Yet, he passed away at a young age. Taizu wrote to Xun Yu: "Since Zhicai's demise, there has been no one to discuss matters with me. There are many talented individuals in the regions of Ru (i.e. Runan) and Ying (i.e. Yingchuan). Who can take over such a position?"
Xun Yu recommended Guo Jia. Cao Cao summoned him and discuss vital topics under the sun. Taizu said: "This will be the one enabling me to achieve greatness."
When Guo Jia went out, he was glad while saying: "Truly my lord."
Guo Jia was made the Libationer of Military Affairs.]

A few things to note here.
1. Remember Xi Zhicai? Yep, he died early. Apparently, a stable genius during ancient times was in the danger of dying young. Apart from Xi Zhicai, there were also the likes of Zhou Yu in the same era and Huo Qubing during the reign of Wu Emperor of Han. And of course, there's Kuok Kah. Fa Zheng was also technically one such stable genius as well (i.e. he passed away aged 46) due to his years of exceptional service lasting less than ten years.

2. How easy it is to brown-nose your boss? Note that pleasing your boss is different from walking on thin ice. Pleasing your boss is what many Republicans have been doing since 2016. Walking on thin ice would be Ben Sasse voting for Brett Kavanaugh due to a culture of political insanity creating a damned-either-way scenario. I'm no Kuok Kah and neither am I his descendant. But I'm not stupid enough not to know what's going on in the Congress and beyond. As for Xi Zhicai, he earned his boss' favor due to actual merit.

3. The post of Libationer can be seen as a Chief Minister of a specific ministry/portfolio instead of just an ordinary minister.

4. Would this create a conflict in interest? Prior to meeting Guo Jia, Cao Cao already got two personal advisers. Not Jared Kushner, but two talented blokes more wonderful than Boy Wonder himself: Xun You and Zhong Yao. Interestingly enough, Kuok Kah's post seemed to involve military administration and planning. Quite likely Kuok Kah's role was that of Zhang Liang (i.e. planning and giving advice) while Xun You and Zhong Yao's roles would be more like Chen Ping (i.e. more operationally hands-on compared to Zhang Liang) during the Chu-Han Contention.

5. Kuok Kah was the only person whom Cao Cao identified as the man he needed to unify an otherwise chaotic China. The rest merely got a glowing appraisal stopping short of such a daring statement.

6. For some funny reason, the Chinese enjoyed fighting each other more than the Unionists versus the Confederates. Must be an East Asian historical pastime since even the Japanese and Koreans enjoyed doing it.

7. Cao Cao was no prophet. And neither was he a Christian. But boy was his appraisal so spot on. Even though Kuok Kah died young, this stable genius was arguably the most vital cog in Cao Cao's military career. Under his service, the two greatest threats to Cao Cao's cause (i.e. Lu Bu and Yuan Shao) were eradicated. Thus, was Cao Cao be able to unify the whole of northern China.

8. The fact that Cao Cao exchanged messages with Xun Yu instead of direct conversation means one thing: Cao Cao was most likely somewhere out there fighting a battle when Xi Zhicai passed away since Xun Yu had to stay home to look after the Emperor who had no actual power at all because he was merely Cao Cao's puppet despite being an actual royal like Harry and William. Not to mention the royal granny as well.


[傅子曰：太祖谓嘉曰：“本初拥冀州之众，青、并从之，地广兵强，而数为不逊。吾欲讨之，力不敌，如何？”
对曰：“刘、项之不敌，公所知也。汉祖唯智胜；项羽虽强，终为所禽。嘉窃料之，绍有十败，公有十胜，虽兵强，无能为也。绍繁礼多仪，公体任自然，此道胜一也。绍以逆动，公奉顺以率天下，此义胜二也。汉末政失于宽，绍以宽济宽，故不摄，公纠之以猛而上下知制，此治胜三也。绍外宽内忌，用人而疑之，所任唯亲戚子弟，公外易简而内机明，用人无疑，唯才所宜，不间远近，此度胜四也。绍多谋少决，失在后事，公策得辄行，应变无穷，此谋胜五也。绍因累世之资，高议揖让以收名誉，士之好言饰外者多归之，公以至心待人，推诚而行，不为虚美，以俭率下，与有功者无所吝，士之忠正远见而有实者皆原为用，此德胜六也。绍见人饥寒，恤念之形于颜色，其所不见，虑或不及也，所谓妇人之仁耳，公于目前小事，时有所忽，至于大事，与四海接，恩之所加，皆过其望，虽所不见，虑之所周，无不济也，此仁胜七也。绍大臣争权，谗言惑乱，公御下以道，浸润不行，此明胜八也。绍是非不可知，公所是进之以礼，所不是正之以法，此文胜九也。绍好为虚势，不知兵要，公以少克众，用兵如神，军人恃之，敌人畏之，此武胜十也。”]

Above excerpt was from Fuzi. One thing of note was that before this meeting, Xun Yu already said something similar after Yuan Shao arrogantly taunted his (ex) old friend. It's very possible that Xun Yu's Thesis Of Four Victories And Defeats happened to reflect how smart Kuok Kah was. After all, this Kuok actually went one step further. Six steps to be exact in the form of his Thesis Of Ten Victories And Defeats. After all, great minds think alike. Xun Yu and Kuok Kah were no exception to this rule.

[刘、项之不敌，公所知也。汉祖唯智胜；项羽虽强，终为所禽。]

Translate:
M'lord you should know the reason behind the gulf between Liu (Bang) and Xiang (Yu). The First Emperor of Han (i.e. Liu Bang) won only because of his wits. As for Xiang Yu, he was defeated.

This statement refers to the Chu-Han Contention. Instead of brown nosing Cao Cao straightaway, Kuok Kah used history as a way to motivate his future boss. In fact, Zhang Liang employed the same method to dissuade Liu Bang from making dumb decisions during the Chu-Han Contention. Effectively, this would be like someone (i.e. NOT me) assuring Ben Sasse that retaining control of the Senate would be a victory since the Democrats are very likely to seize one out of two halves of the Congress. Of course, the red-blue voters are not going to do that for the Republicans and Democrats. It'd be the swing voters with the possibility of a swing tsunami happening.

[嘉窃料之，绍有十败，公有十胜，虽兵强，无能为也。]

Translate:
Jia dares says Shao has ten factors leading to defeat while m'lord has ten factors leading to victory. Thus, he cannot do a thing despite a strong army. (Note that this was Guo Jia referring to himself in third person mode)

This was Kuok Kah being daring here. It's like me risking my neck by saying the Democrats will control either the House of Representatives or the Senate while the other half will go to the Republicans. No 100% Congress flip, only 50%.

[绍繁礼多仪，公体任自然，此道胜一也。]

Translate:
Yuan Shao is overly concerned with formalities, while you behave naturally. You win him in principle.

Translation can be very difficult. Thus, do not attempt a literal way of doing it word by word. With that being said, what kind of person was Yuan Shao. In Kuok Kah's own words, he's too obsessed with formalities. A more accurate source of translation would be what Rose McGowan said about her fellow peers. I don't have to spell it out for you. As for Cao Cao, he's 100% real. Okay, not 100%. You can't fight a war by being honest. Look at the politicians and tell me how truthful they are. If politics is not an alternate form of warfare, I don't know what else is.

[绍以逆动，公奉顺以率天下，此义胜二也。]

Translate:
Yuan Shao attempts to achieve supremacy from an opposing position, while you use the Han Empire's authority to command respect. You win him in righteousness.

How do you win your mid-term election? This is a question haunting Republicans and Democrats alike. With November looming closer, the American Constitution has to be a key focus with all the alt-right and far-left nonsense going on. Achieving supremacy from an opposing position is like starting a fight without a convincing reason. As for using the Han Empire's authority to command respect, that's just a PC way of saying you got the Emperor and he's definitely more powerful than the American Constitution and North Korean nukes put together.

[汉末政失于宽，绍以宽济宽，故不摄，公纠之以猛而上下知制，此治胜三也。]

Translate:
The Han dynasty declined due to a lack of discipline and law enforcement. Yuan Shao condones his followers and their ill discipline, so he fails in administration. You uphold discipline sternly and firmly among your followers. You win him in management.

Don't we all love the #MeToo movement? There's a reason behind this pursuit for justice. And guess what? It's 100% morally acceptable. I mean the pursuit for justice, not the fact that the catchphrase in American society is bo chenghu. In Singlish, it means no government. That's how Brock Allen Turner effectively got only 3 months in jail despite a 6-month sentence (actually, 6 months in jail was already bo chenghu enough). If there's anyone who can save America, it won't be Ben Sasse or Bernie Sanders. And it won't be Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. There can be only one Chosen One and his name was Cao Cao. Bummer he lived and died way earlier than Abraham Lincoln and Thomas Jefferson.

[绍外宽内忌，用人而疑之，所任唯亲戚子弟，公外易简而内机明，用人无疑，唯才所宜，不间远近，此度胜四也。]

Translate:
Yuan Shao appears to be welcoming and accepting but he is actually jealous and suspicious. He never fully trusts his followers and places faith only in his family members and close relatives. You appear simple on the outside but you are actually very discerning on the inside. You fully trust those you have placed your faith in, and you promote meritocracy. You win him in tolerance.

I actually once read a Wikipedia article involving Bill Haslam. A pity that bloke decided to ownself fire ownself. I mean Bill Haslam, not Kuok Kah. Come to think of it, appointing Bernie Sanders as the next Education Secretary shouldn't be out of the picture.

[绍多谋少决，失在后事，公策得辄行，应变无穷，此谋胜五也。]

Translate:
Yuan Shao likes to listen to many ideas but is indecisive and he hesitates before he makes any move. You are decisive and you adapt to changes well. You win him in strategy.

How do you deal with Kim? I don't mean Kim Taeyeon, Claudia Kim, or Irene Kim. Let alone Kim Kardashian. And neither am I talking about Kim Dae-jung or Kim Jong-Il. I'm referring to Kim Jong-un, son of Kim Jong-il and grandson of Kim Il-sung. You can't threaten him with fire and fury even though it's minus the brimstone. You can't just deal with it by making noise on Twitter and some red button hidden somewhere under the desk. But something has to be done. Ditto for the current trade war as well. Although red buttons are not needed because China isn't Iran. Indecisiveness is equally fatal to all the wrong methods I listed here. If you let Yuan Shao take care of North Korea and the trade war, it's like starting a fight you're not willing to win. In Rex.T's own words, that makes you a ****ing moron. Was Cao Cao a ****ing moron? He should be smart enough to realise ending the trade war requires Canada and the EU ganging up on the same guy, be that guy a Chinese guy or an American white guy. As for the Korean nukes, I have to say Kim Jong-un is no ****ing moron unless he thinks political mobility involving South Korea, China, U.S, and Russia is dumber than his nukes. But still, China has the bigger and better stick.


To be cont'd...

Next up: The second half of Kuok Kah's Thesis of Ten Victories and Defeats. That plus possible reasons behind Cao Cao's AG Jeff Wong having a problem with him and the Top *have to count the number of events first* Moments of Kuok Kah's Stable Genius.

Above is the theme song for #YOLO #YODO

Something's coming home (and it's now at Barovia) Pt V

http://republicofotters.blogspot.com/2018/07/somethings-coming-home-and-its-now-at.html

http://republicofotters.blogspot.com/2018/07/somethings-coming-home-and-its-now-at_26.html

http://republicofotters.blogspot.com/2018/07/somethings-coming-home-and-its-now-at_29.html

http://republicofotters.blogspot.com/2018/09/somethings-coming-home-and-its-now-at.html

This is a Total Recall. John repeat: THIS IS A TOTAL RECALL!

The reason why being that trying to do a post on dealing with hunts at Barovia is now looking more like a chore than something John do without any unwanted hassle. Perhaps it's because it's been a very long time since John last did a post on Neverwinter and it didn't help that he's now gaming less and... bumming more? Either way, the future now looks 50-50. Whatever that means... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So what will this post cover?

Basically, John will cover Vikov Ulrich's weekly plus the remaining three weekly starting quests after you got past the lupine Chippendales brigade and successfully rescued Taeyeon from their damaging clutches. At the same time, John will record some of his reactions involving the new changes to the Hunter Ranger. Please note that the reactions are based on his experience in using the combat HR. Therefore, you all can look up elsewhere if you're running either the archery or trapper tree.

Best NPC in this mod?

In the popular culture where might makes right and right makes might, the key word is might. We all know winners tend to display machismo. It doesn't matter whether you're a sexist or feminist because power plays a major role in either might making right or right making might. Actually, there's nothing wrong with it if we're dealing with usage of creativity. The problem comes when the audience decided to favour power level over the human level. Allow John to elaborate via these two vids below.

Why Wonder Woman is so wonderful lies in her power level. As for Emiya Kiritsugu, the reason behind his high-end character value lies in his humanity. In a culture of power-worship, the human factor should never be seen as the second fiddle.

And this is why Vikov Ulrich is the standout NPC in Barovia. You have Ezmerelda d'Avenir the standard heroine. You have Szoldar Szoldarovich the dour hunter. You have Danika Dorakova the know-all lady. The three of them did display traits of heroism, but no humane weakness of note. In fact, one could say Strahd von Zarovich's unrequited love shown via Marina would seem more human than a bunch of SWAT team out to take him down. No one ever said Strahd was the good guy, John is NOT saying you shouldn't patronise the likes of Drizzt Do'Urden. John is just trying to remind everybody that the human factor should never be playing second fiddle to power level. This is where stuff like Berserk and Hellsing succeeded over many other works, even those from the West.

[Arylos saw a haunted soul in that one-eyed hunter. Vikov spent his entire lifetime chasing demons and being pursued by them, a vicious cycle reflecting the dark and mad world they're living in. He didn't have Ezmerelda's reputation, neither did he boast of Szoldar's fortitude and Danika's wisdom. Yet more than anyone else here, Vikov Ulrich was both a Barovian and Barovia itself. Had he drawn a different lot, he'd be the finest Chosen guided by Kelemvor's unyielding hand. Even better than the Left Hand of Kelemvor by his own guess.]

Gestapo or KGB, does it matter to Strahd?

Vikov's weekly starter involves getting the Holy Symbol of Ravenkind. This should be very straightforward because you're effectively dealing with enemies in the open-world zone of Berez. In fact, Berez is the only part in the campaign where you don't have to enter a separate instance to make your heroic presence known. Once you completed the starter quest, your weekly quest would involve killing the feds under Strahd's command. Actually, it doesn't matter whether they should be called the feds, Gestapo, or KGB. Let alone the Mossad. They're spies. And spies fight like assassins, not warriors.

Let's get to the starter quest first. In the Barovia map, there are 3 places where the wine bottle would pop up. The fountain where you get the bird symbol (not to be confused with another bird symbol resembling the Roman eagle at the Whispering Wood) is one of them. So yeah, there's a chance to get a side-quest without running too much. This wine bottle is every gamer's dream side-quest. Once you get the source of Barovian comfort, all you need is to run back to base and give that dull-witted barkeep that nice bottle of Champagne du le Stomp (Note: Apparently, there's a bit of French and German influence in Ravenloft considering this and the fact that Von used to be a title for German aristocracy until the nation gave elitism the red card). Seriously, that place is so depressing that getting either drunk or stoned is the only reprieve one can afford. And you think it sucks to be Jolin living in Yishun? At least you don't see random Groots running about in the neighbourhood.

After finishing the starter, you can do the weekly. Interestingly, the weekly and starter are available at the same time. Quite likely a bug because you'll need that bird symbol to blow some cover. The weekly is very straightforward. John wouldn't call it easy, but there's a reason why any lfg request involving the weeklies would only cover the lupine Chippendales brigade and the three old women of the Old Bonemill. The weekly is so straightforward, no one would bother to lfg it. Just run around in the village of Barovia and force a lie-detector test on any local. This weekly involves 4 duels. 3 of them involving the agents and the last one involving the master spy. The vampire agent is more difficult than any member of the lupine Chippendales brigade (apart from the four pack leaders). They're harder to kill mainly because there's a chance of zero damage despite landing a hit (which means they either have auto-dodge or their deflection game is just plain crazy). Not just the spies, but effectively every vampire you see in Berez. However, there's a flip side. Because the quest takes place in the village of Barovia, your chance of getting random help is definitely higher than some Toto Tan trying to strike the first prize. Not just the agents, but also the master spy himself.

Effectively, you're going around in the ruins of Berez until you reach the final part. Which would be duelling with a vampire boss. It's not that hard, but dealing with the control effect can be dodgy. The enemies in Berez are control-based as in you'd need some decent control resistance to deal with them. In fact, Barovia is the only map where control-based enemies can be a problem. More specifically, Berez. So prepare to pop a superior potion of fortification unless you're confident that you can survive a prolonged chokehold. Otherwise, go for at least a rank 1 Raven's Cunning boon first. Remember, vampires in Barovia are the control specialists (for some funny reason, the standard vampire is harder to kill compared to the honor guard. Makes you wonder how useful your job title truly is).

In the event where you're on your own, just make sure you have something to fall back on once you got controlled. Control attacks do come out very fast when it comes to the vampires. This is definitely unlike dealing with a (half) naked wolf dude where you can see the knockdown pounce five steps ahead (mainly because that fellow would turn>run>pounce). With enough practice, you should have a 50-50 chance of running away from the vampire pounce. The choking part, however, is that sniper's bullet. Preferably, you should fire back with your own control attack so that you have enough time to pop a healing potion. Either that or you use it as a platform to counter-attack. Dealing with vampires do require some decent counter-attacking. But they're not the worst controller enemies you get to face. The worst ones would be those Vistani hunters in the merchant rescue heroic encounter as they will slow you down while the warlocks lit their balls on fire. Not to mention as well the great weapon fighters whacking you up close and personal. That one has to be the most challenging minor heroic encounters John has done so far.

One interesting part about dealing with Strahd's Gestapo/KGB is that they will all fire first. Thankfully, none of them is Han Solo and you're no Greedo. Chance of getting hit first is very high, to say the least, so pop a Fox's Cunning beforehand (that is if you're running a HR). The first hit is a push back, but the duration can be quite long if you don't have decent control resistance. Once you get rid of the three Gestapo/KGB agents, it's time to run all the way to Berez to take down their agent Moulder who happened to be somewhere in a mouldy tomb. Agent Moulder is basically a Gestapo/KGB injected with Strahd's DNA (albeit it's not much of a success judging from the fight), so it shouldn't be too hard. Apart from getting hit harder, that is.

Important note: It's official. The Night Terror now has a higher chance to arrest you anywhere without a license. What this means is that running Vikov's Kill Gestapo/KGB has gotten riskier since it can only be done at night. It's either that or Cryptic got a problem with John L'Otter.

Before helping Lee Young-ae in Barovia...
Okay, that's quite obviously a joke. If John can make a joke at the expense of 김태연 and the 사생군, then Danika Lee is nothing. And speaking of 김태연 and the 사생군, allow John L'Otter to share something funny he did to the lupine Chippendales brigade a few weeks ago. If John L'Otter can do it, so can you.

You see, John was lucky enough to get a Night Terror to drop a Cowl of the Dead while running Barovia with Kariss Locras (i.e. a female tiefling hellbringer SW). Which was funny in the sense that this was John's first time running Barovia with her. Moral of the story? Never sexually harass a tiefling warlock (erm no, John is a male otter, not female. Hence the name John L'Otter and NOT Jean L'Otter).

So John got the Cowl of the Dead and gave it to Arylos. After all, it's only a fitting decision given Arylos' god is Kelemvor, not Corellon Larethian ("Never my people and never my god."~Arylos). Then came the accidental (and funny) discovery: Do you know you can literally kick a wolf dude's ass once you trigger Forest Ghost daily and the repel effect from the equipment?

The way to do it is very simple. Because wolf dudes in Barovia enjoying running away in order to pounce foward, all you need is to proc the repel effect via activating Forest Ghost. Make sure the target is starting to run away before pulling it off. Also, maintain a running distance so that you can close in. And once you managed to pull it off, congrats. You just kicked a wolf dude's ass and avenged 김태연.

Note: It's not just about kicking ass. 김태연 or no 김태연, you can pull off a Disruptive Shot instead of Forest Ghost. Guess what's gonna happen?

Okay, now back to Danika Lee

Seriously, what's with the Old Bone Mill? That has to be the easiest weekly John has ever done. If you're looking for a quick fix, helping Danika Lee should be your game. For Big Daddy Szold, it's all about outrunning the wolf dudes and kicking an ass or two. Plus a Sennen Goroshi if you're in the right position to do so. For Vikov Ulrich's quest to avenge the ruining of Berez, you'll have to run around during night while risking nighttime harassment from the Night Terror himself for the final part. But busting Sweeney Todd's pie syndicate? That's easy. In fact, should it be surprising given that the Cursed Meadow is (still) the easiest zone in Barovia?

The raid and rescue process is very straightforward, even more so compared to busting the Gestapo/KGB. Run along the path>kill spiders>kill the first witch>run along the path>kill scarecrows>kill the second witch>enter the basement>put out the cooking fire>kill the last witch. Then grab Sweeney Todd's cookbook and exit the basement. It's really very easy. Strahd should have given Helena Bellatrix Carter equal pay, that bloodsucking bastard.

Just one thing of note here: The second witch is dodgier because she's the only one flying above you. In a feat defy the law of physics, melee attacks are able to hit her. But because she's always flying too damn high, you have to try getting her to a corner. Since the fight takes place at the foot of the Old Bone Mill, it shouldn't be a problem. Unlike the first and third witches, the second witch is a bomb dropper. Just run around while taking down the strawmen unless you're a tank or GWF. Effective AoE attacks help a lot. Once she summons the giant strawman, just dismantle it instead of going straight at the flying crone. Yes, the bombs will still be dropping. But so long you're running about doing a hit-and-run like a wood elf army in the Warhammer fantasy world (RIP from Archaon himself), it shouldn't be a problem.

Note: Polymorph is annoying but not deadly. Just run around like an intelligent sheep and Strahd will have no choice but to give Helena Bellatrix Carter equal pay.

Add Note: The AoE circle in the basement fight works in a weird way. Apparently, you can't see the whole circle. But part of it? Yes. Wherever you move, just run a circle behind the boss. The witches can only cast a frontal circle for some funny reason. Definitely not Helena Bellatrix Carter's fault.

Add+ Note: For the second witch, you can just go straight at her if you're either a tank or GWF.

Some reactions to HR tweaks

Shift/Dodge: At least they fixed something.

Grasping Roots: Better CC duration. But does it do anything for the trapper? Doubt so. But still slightly better CC for archery and combat.

Companions no longer benefitting from buffs: If you're using a cat or some other augment pet, it's not so bad, Otherwise, you're screwed.

All buffs affecting 5 targets at rank 1: Okay, at least it's more party friendly. In fact, do not be surprised if combat HRs are gonna get better pay when it comes to end-game raids since every party in end-game thrives on buffs more than debuffs.

All buffs not requiring allies to be in the party: Good news for those running epic trials and BHEs.

All buffs no longer 50% effective for allies: You know a trade-off is around the corner. Beyond that, the devs should have done it earlier since HR being the most tactically versatile class should be given more buffing muscle. Refer to what John said on buffs and 5 targets.

Hawkeye: They nerfed it. But max rank can give 12.5% encounter damage increment. Better buff value, but don't bother using it unless it's maxed.

Oak Skin: That one is definitely shafted. No more defense buffing, but plenty of heal. It's dumb considering how hard anything in any RAQ/REQ raid can hit. So will the HR get a better base damage resistance for the next mod? Remember, the HR dodge distance sucks. All you combat HRs better start going for all the defense and critical boons. Don't forget Displace Fate and Rousing Warmth as well. You'll really need them badly.

Plant Growth: Effectively unusable for trappers, but still 100% usable for combat.

Misc: They really nerfed the fox and snake. This is bad. At least it looks really bad.

Stormwarden changes:

Bladestorm: They buffed it. Big time. As for the off-hand artifact power, you don't need it now. At least not that much.

Twin-Blade Storm: Meh.

Stormstep Action: At least they're taking seriously a class feature that's either next to useless or truly the square root of sod all.

Pathfinder changes:

John doesn't see a nerf here. Going by the changes, it seemed that combat HRs are gonna be more buff friendly.

Primal Instincts: Brace yourselves, pathfinders are coming.

Combat feats changes:

Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. Guess Arylos has to start using 2 Wolves instead of just an Aspect of the Pack.

Conclusion: Next mod will be dodgy. Either way, we're gonna see combat lone wolves.

John's likeliest moveset for Arylos' raiding loadout for Nov 6. Tentatively, that is...

At-will powers: Clear the Ground; Aimed Strike

Encounter powers: Hawkeye; Thorn Strike; Plant Growth

Daily powers: Forest Ghost; Seismic Shot (because Caladbolg Mk II is too awesome to pass up)

Class features: Aspect of the Lone Wolf; Aspect of the Pack/Bladestorm (gotta need augment cubes either way)

Boon tweaks: Winter's Bounty for Rousing Warmth

P.S: Yes, making fun (?) Taeyeon must have been a torture for all you Taesers. Therefore, allow John to make amends.

The second vid is upped for teh lolz. Okay, not really because John's taste is never that of a human.

Miraculous Sound

Well, here it is again. Another post under the Lah Lah Land label. Wait, that sounds like Girls Generation and BoA under the SM label...

Anyway, before John begins this post, allow him to up a couple of things.

https://coconuts.co/singapore/news/man-who-called-the-cops-on-local-meme-page-over-911-shitpost-threatens-to-snitch-on-another-meme-page/

When John looked back at his life, he realised the dangers of self-righteousness. While it's fine to express outrage, there would always be things worse than a poorly done joke. For every abortion joke done by Michelle "not Michael" Wolf, a student is suffering from emotional abuse. For every Shrey "he was reported to the police by some Shrek" Bhargava, you have a 5 year-old dumb kid. Long story short, it's very easy to go around using a shield to hide your own sense of self-righteousness. At the same time, it's actually equally easy not to be vocal over things like this and that.

Of course, John wasn't harbouring any hate towards any specific individual. However, it's true that he was done in by his surroundings during primary school, secondary school, and ITE. By the time he arrived at 32 SIB, he was a broken mess. Thankfully, suicide was prevented via a permanent PES E status. To understand an emotionally abused person, please read this.

Before John officially starts it, allow him to up a vid involving 2 BFFs and him

Lyrics

And now for the Miracle of Sound Life

Okay, it's getting late at night now. Gonna end this here. Yeah, John knows it's so unlike him.

Born in the year of the dog 1982, a vilified guy in school, and a wolf living in the Lion City.
Thankfully for every Singaporean, this wolf is fictional.

Seriously, thinking every fairy tale is for kids is like believing in Snow White and Prince Charming.

The Hellsing Ultimate Monster

John should have done this. This typing/talking otter should have done this much earlier on. For the past N years, YouTube is getting more than just a few analysis videos. From Game of Thrones to Fate/Zero, you got them all. From the question of Is Daenerys Targaryen Overrated or Misunderstood to answering Why Guts Stands Out From Other Protagonists, you can choose your sword (or dragon depending on your personal taste).

So what this analysis is all about?

It's self-explanatory. Hellsing, Ultimate or no Ultimate, is something no sane parent would want to show his/her kids. In a world where the morally insane outnumber the morally sane, however, Hellsing serves as an effective thinking tool (or maybe not depending on how much of a barking mad person you are). Even more so in a nation where being more moralistic can easily be confused for being actually moralistic. From NTU to the local version of Kill Bill, 'tis only natural for Alexander Anderson's knives to be outed in full force.

Before John continues risking his furry neck, allow him to post a warning:

As mentioned just now, Hellsing, Ultimate or no Ultimate, is something NO sane parent would want to show his/her kids. You DON'T teach innocent children the cruelties of reality by displaying scenes of gore, violence, and guts spilt here and there. You DON'T teach impressionable tweens and teens the birds and bees by showing them what is necrophilia. Xiaxue's A-bomb might be somewhat (?) safe for a certain age group, but Hellsing is for the mature while the Ultimate version is definitely for the mature and wise. Seriously, it's like comparing the atomic bombing of Nagasaki (i.e. Xiaxue's A-bomb) with that of Hiroshima (i.e. Hirano Kouta's Hellsing). Both are devastating in their own rights, but John won't be surprised if one side's casualty count was actually higher due to the difference in population density. Not to mention the fact that no one will ever know the exact numbers.

What this analysis will cover

Firstly, John is not going to cover the whole plot. In fact, the only reason for John's knowledge was the series wiki found here. John did not watch the series, but that didn't prevent this typing/talking otter from... well, typing/talking. Secondly, this post will only cover the topic of monsters and the reality of contradiction which may have escaped some/most of the viewers. Thirdly... well, maybe John will add more things. Or maybe not.

Definition of Hellsing

Hellsing is a very special word. Originally known as Helsing, the Abraham van Helsing in the series was never a Jackman Helsing. Instead, Hirano Jigokuta made this Helsing into... well, a jacked up Helsing. This Abraham van Helsing was neither a courageous man in black nor a righteous man in white. He's a man in grey. Seeing his wife as no different from a dead wife due to her insanity caused by grief? Check. Most likely becoming a hero just because he owed John Seward (definitely not this John here) a debt? You bet. Refusing to kill Dracula? This was proof of Abraham van Helsing being neither a courageous man in black nor a righteous man in white, but rather a jacked up Helsing in grey.

The second part shouldn't be seen as a decisive factor behind how Jigokuta reimagined an otherwise noble and intelligent vampire-hunting professor. But the first and third factors definitely told us something. And that is Abraham van Helsing was no honest Abraham.

Considering the climatic fight between Alucard and Alexander Anderson, one can interpret the Anglicized version of Helsing to be this: A song sung from the depths of hell.

Now there is a difference between the above definition and a song coming from hell. Below two videos represent a song coming from hell.

This video below, however, is the real definition of a song sung from the depths of hell.

A song from the depths of hell
Sung by a lord and king
Wallachia mourned for its dead
Man, woman, and child for the Turks
He was a slave to the sword
His servitude to the iron pikes
The fire of wrath knew no bounds
Righteous hatred understood no end
Foes and vassals were the same
Souls consumed and doomed to fade
Wallachia still mourns for its dead
All the king's horses and his men
Enemies and common folk march alike
Heeding the devil's call to fight

~By Kuok Minghui

Note: Every poem here is done by this typing/talking/writing French otter. Please do not steal even though John L'Otter is too piss poor to afford a lawyer beyond the pro-bono option. M.Ravi, maybe?

Where the monsters hailed from

Whence do monsters hail?

Are they the figment of our greatest fear?

Are they the children of our inner hate?

Or mayhap they are truly our very selves?

~By Kuok Minghui

Vampires. Not the ones you read in Twilight. Let's cut the chase here, shall we? In the history of mankind, perhaps no one invoked memories of vampiric monsters like two individuals. One was a woman and a lady, the other a man and a lord.

The former was more vampiric than the latter, her name was Elizabeth Báthory.

No, not this Elizabeth. Also, the royal granny is never her... well, partying granddaughter?

Serial killer? Check. Slaughtered innocent girls just to bath in their blood? You bet. All in the name of eternal youth and beauty everlasting? Scary thought... but yeah.

The second one was none other than Vlad III. Also known as Vlad the Impaler, it must be stated that this Slavic dictator wasn't responsible for 377A. The title Impaler wasn't an indication of his sexuality, but rather his favourite way of execution. In fact, his brutality level was so damn high, the Ottoman Turks had to deal with their very own PTSD.

Alucard releasing his 0 proved one thing: He was truly a monster befitting of the name Dracula. No one like him could ever be called human. Then again, many are those we see as monsters. It's worthy to note that the enemies were separated into two categories: The German Nazis and those like Enrico Maxwell. It's utterly hypocritical for Maxwell to see Alucard as an abomination for three reasons.

1. By calling Alucard a monster, he ignored the fact that he himself was a power hungry monster.

2. By calling Alucard the devil, he ignored the fact that he was also a devil in his own right.

3. By calling Alucard Dracula, he ignored the fact that he was also a son of the devil by helping the Germans.

Edit on point 3: Maxwell wasn't helping the Germans per se, but he was indeed being a son of the devil named the Major.

So why did Enrico Maxwell call Alucard a monster, the devil, and Dracula? Because he saw how far the cruelty of Vlad III had gotten. And it's real, trust John. It's very easy for us to judge Enrico Maxwell just like how easy it was for him to call Alucard... well, Dracula. Granted, we should never call what is wrong right. Wrong is wrong even if everyone else called it right. But what do we see when we decided to look deep and hard inside ourselves? Do we see a shining paragon of justice? Do we see a struggler trying to do and say what is right despite our constant failures? Or do we see a Dracula in the same way Enrico Maxwell was guilty of sacrificing innocent lives for the sake of personal gain? (Note: See the hypocrisy here concerning his reaction towards Alucard's treatment of his own subjects and foes alike?)

Add Note: Apparently, Elizabeth Báthory was a Slav as well. #WhyAlwaysSlavs

Christianity+Agnosticism=A reality of contradiction

You may one day ask: What would Christianity be without Christ? A Christian without Christ is called Ian. Ian is the name of a guy, this logic can be extended to the whole of humanity as well. This is NOT an attack on any nation or any culture. It is the cold hard truth when it comes to human nature. If the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew was able to tell the cold hard truth, so can this... well, person here.

The world of Hellsing is what happens when Christless Christianity reaches its greatest height. In name, the world of Hellsing was one of Christianity plus the supernatural. Protestants+Roman Catholics+occult=blasphemy, right? If that's what you see, then allow John to tell you the cold hard truth: It's NOT just that.

Hidden under the radar was the fact that God was never seen in this series. Not. Even. Bloody. Once. You know what that looks like? Christianity+Agnosticism. Agnosticism, in a nutshell, is the belief that...

1. God is real, just that we don't know which side He's on.

2. God is real, just that we can never reach Him.

3. God is real, just that we're most likely screwed anyway. That has to be the most depressing part if you're to ask John.

Of course, this is an oversimplification of things. John L'Otter is no John Calvin, so you'll have to ask someone else if you want to know more. Either that or Google is your BFF.

So why did John mention theology here?

God and Monsters

"Only a human can destroy a monster. Only a human could dare hope to."

Why did Alucard speak one of the baddest quotes thus far during his final duel against Alexander Anderson? It's evident that Alexander Anderson became a monster to defeat a monster. Before we try finding the answer to this question, let's get one thing clear: Alexander Anderson became a monster due to his faith.

Instead of a show of hypocrisy, Alexander Anderson's insane show of faith further proved how much of a contradiction the world of Hellsing truly was. In a world where Christianity was nothing more than a facade for actual Agnosticism, Alexander Anderson could be seen as the real hero. Yes, he's not the protagonist. Yet as one of the main antagonists (the other being the Major), he's the... well, only heroic figure. His role in the plot was nothing less than a contradiction, for the most notable "villain" was, in fact, the most notable hero.

As for Alucard, the most notable "hero" turned out to be more of a villain. Actually, he's truly one himself. Therein we can see the genius of Jigokuta. At the hands of any Hollywood scriptwriter, Alucard would have been relegated to the standard evil doing monster we're used to seeing. At the hands of Jigokuta, Alucard was truly worth every 0.1 of Hellsing Ultimate's 8.3/10 IMDb score compared to Thor: Ragnarok's 7.9/10 and Wonder Woman's 7.5/10. This is NOT to say Thor Odinson and Diana Prince sucked as heroic figures. Far from it. But compare them with Alucard and you should see the difference in depth. Leave power level in the purgatory, let character depth shine first in the heaven above.

The battle between the two monsters of God wasn't as simple as a fight unto the death. On the first glance, Alucard was the winner. But Anderson's final words indicated he himself was the true winner. In a world where God was nowhere to be seen and only there to be believed, Alucard became a monster. Before he became the monster we're so familiar with, he was already a monster of God. His brutal methods and deplorable means were waged in the name of God. Everyone is seeking a reason for his/her own actions, self-justification is always our favourite pastime. For Alucard, God became the reason and self-justification. He slaughtered countless lives in the name of God, he committed atrocities in the name of his God. Prayers of faith and mercy were nonsense to him, actions of righteous hatred were the only way to heaven. Not only did this signal Alucard's downward spiral into hell, but this was also the perfect evidence proving him to be a monster of God. On the first glance, Alucard denouncing God was due to circumstances involving his descent into the state of monstrosity. In reality, he was already a bloody monster before he realised it. Effectively, Alucard was a victim of a world ruled by Christianity, yet defined by the throne of Agnosticism. At the same time, it must be stated that his decisions were of his own and no one else. When Alucard was still a human Vlad III, he had no choice but to resort to extreme tactics. Why was he so adamant that God would never listen to prayers of faith and mercy? Because by doing so, his people would be doomed! The men would be slaughtered, the children enslaved, and the women raped. Vlad III had no choice but to be Vlad the Impaler. The desire to save his people became a life of deeds without the creed. And it's due to this way of living that Alucard cursed God for abandoning him. And here lies the interesting question of who abandoning who. Was God guilty of abandoning Alucard or was Alucard guilty of abandoning God? Only one answer is for certain: Damned either way.

Now let's look at Alexander Anderson. More than Alucard, this was a monster of his own making. Anderson opted for the best option. He had no hope of defeating this monster, so he decided to be a monster himself. A monster of God. The irony here couldn't be any more evident. Here we have a current monster of God fighting against a devil who used to be one himself! Alexander's status was the reason why Alucard became a monster while he was still a human Vlad III! There's no difference between Alexander Anderson of now and the Alucard of then. That's the mockery facing the two. Anderson must have sensed it, but Alucard definitely knew it. This was the reason for his anger. He hoped for Anderson to kill him. Anderson had the chance when he was still a human. Then he forfeited the right.

The moral high ground

Monsters have no moral high ground. This was Alucard's logic. Yes, they're N times more powerful than humans. A pragmatist would surely say it takes a monster to take down a monster. In a show of cruel humour, Alucard was an idealist. How can a human destroy a monster? How could a human dare hope to?

This is where we see another contradiction in the world of Hellsing. The first contradiction was the relationship between religion and Agnosticism. The second one referred to what Alucard said: "Only a human can destroy a monster. Only a human could dare hope to."

To him, a monster didn't deserve to live, its only right was to die. This was the price demanded by immortality, truly an irony it turned out to be. A monster killing a monster would just sustain, if not at least prolong the vicious cycle of conflict. For a human to kill a monster, however, there's hope for this cycle to be halted. Even if it's to be just a reprieve lasting less than a year, it's still better than nothing. But for this to happen, the human being in question must never feed his/her dignity to the merciless world. Monsters became monsters because they couldn't handle any longer the wounds bleeding inside them. Or at least that's Alucard for ya. Yet, if humans refused to give up their dignity, how could they hope to defeat the monsters? When you think about it, the world of Hellsing was actually one of despair and not one of hope. Alucard's wish was merely an extension of the tragedy defining his descent into hell.

404: Winner not found(?)

Again, we see another irony. It seemed that Jigokuta enjoyed torturing us with ironies and contradictions in the name of despair. There's a German word for it: Schadenfreude. Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung would have been impressed if they're still alive like Alucard and... Alucard?

Anyway, did Anderson truly lose the fight? If we're talking about killing Alucard, his failure proved himself to be the loser. But observe carefully his dialogue with Alucard, his famous last words to a foe he's unable to defeat: "Demons do not cry. You became a demon, because you couldn't cry anymore right? Humans cry and when their tears finally run dry, there's nothing left, but a demon or a monster and one final prayer for death. So, laugh demon. Laugh that arrogant laugh of yours and remember I beat you to it."

Beat Alucard to what? To the grave? Perhaps death was merely secondary. Anderson became a monster in form, but he never lost his dignity as a human being. The definition of his own dignity lies in his unshakeable faith. So by translating his dignity into action, did that make Anderson more of a monster or more of a human?

On the first glance, the above question made no sense. After all, Alucard did the same thing, right? Wrong. Alucard's dignity was never about his nation, people, and family. Rather, these things existed for his dignity. They were the reason for his dignity, not his dignity per se. As for Anderson, he harboured a hope. This hope was the reason why his faith was his dignity and not just the reason for it. His deeds made him no different from Vlad, but the difference lies in hope. Vlad hoped for the deliverance of his nation, people, and family. That's why he became the monster known as the No-Life King, a bitter accuser against God. For Anderson, deliverance was about himself. Nothing more because he's only a human, nothing less because that's the true face of his dignity. And therein we see another irony: Had Anderson won the fight, he'd truly become the new Alucard instead. Anderson had every reason to say Amen first, for he won the war by losing the battle. Alucard won the battle but lost the war, that's why he could only answer Amen to Anderson's final moment.

So did Anderson go to heaven? It's very hard to say. The vision he saw could easily be the truth of his inner world, the inner world of an upright man whose life as a priest would have turned out differently had reality be not so... well, Agnostic.

As for Alucard, he became a winner by his own right as well. The ending revealed a clean break from his damning past. By only retaining Schrödinger, whether it's due to self-will, the inability to do so, or both, Alucard managed to retrieve that one thing he craved the most: Not deliverance but the very dignity he believed to have lost after abandoning his humanity.

Before John ends this epic post, here's another song truly sung by hell itself.

Paradise found and lost
Where will our prayers go?
Jerusalem in sight and far
When shall we see our God?
Blood, death, and screams
Why do we cry?
Faith, mercy, and a curse
Must we be monsters?
Eternity and an arrogant laugh
Where is the hell our souls shall go?

~Kuok Minghui