As stated, my Samsung HDMI cable died some time ago. The signs were already there when there were moments my PC couldn't revert from screensaver/hibernation mode. In short, the comatose mode was a warning sign I should have noted. Thankfully, I got myself a new HDMI cable.
In other news, 10th October has passed. For the ignorant, 10th October was World Mental Health Day. So why did I mention World Mental Health Day? This was due to me stumbling across a few articles reminding me of the fact that every society is a closet containing fine clothes and skeletons alike.
https://www.cigna.com.sg/health-content-hub/thought-leadership/mental-health-stigma-in-Asia
I'm not an American, but this happened to me as well.
I'll be brutally honest here. I've forgiven the sinners who did what is evil and those who did not do what is good. But the memory is still fresh as ever. Would things have changed for the better if my form teacher told my parents the truth during Secondary 2 instead of pointing out my lacking academic results? I don't know about the rest, but two teachers in 1996 knew my situation. One didn't act while the other (i.e. my form teacher) didn't pursue the matter all the way. As a result, my future is ruined. Thankfully, my church ensured that I wouldn't become another Fa Zheng. Incidentally, my church is a Reformed church. Those who know John Calvin's theology on human nature will know what I'm talking about.
This comes to the question of why I can call myself an incel and henjin even though these are unwanted labels (i.e. Wilde Versus Peterson and the fact that the LDP didn't like Koizumi Junichiro). On one hand, I believe in accepting what is factual. On the other hand, I don't believe superficial facts should dictate how I live my life. At the same time, there's always this urge to strike back at the sins of the sinners. It could have been worse because there's always the option of striking the sinners instead of their sins. This is why I'd rather be an ungentlemanly Singaporean instead of a supreme gentleman. Or Vash the Stampede instead of Million Knives if I want to make it sound better.
This comes to my ありがとうございました note to Soken "he doesn't own SoftBank" Masayoshi. Otherwise known as the FF14 version of Uematsu "the OG of FF music" Nobuo, he actually composed a few songs which I'd call the unofficial anthems of 10th October. I'm not joking here because Soken-san accidentally did something good that many of my fellow Singaporeans failed to do. There's something about the songs that spoke to my inner self.
At the same time, I discovered there's something admirable about Azem and the Warrior of Light. Without spoiling it for those yet to play Shadowbringers (or FF14 as well for that matter), allow me to point out:
1. Azem is the first and currently the only character I admired like Emiya Shirou admiring Kiritsugu. No other characters from Japan to Hollywood come close to Azem.
2. The Warrior of Light isn't defined by his/her light and darkness when it comes to moral identity.
This meme could have been funny if not for...
Do you know the thing about FF14 memes? Some of them are actually as funny as the Gentleman of Light. In fact, this meme would have been funny if I didn't do the dumbest thing ever.
I really have to say sorry to the Dark Knight tank in my first healer dungeon run here. The reason why was that I assumed one thing I should never have assumed: To target a group mate, you have to click on him/her. As a result, I had trouble alternating between DPS and healing (i.e. FF14 functions like ESO as in tanks and healers need to pull their own weight on the damage-dealing department).
It was a nightmare run where I felt I did a massive hard-done disservice to the tank. It was a travesty of justice that I got a commendation just because the only thing I did right in healing was to spam Helios to keep everyone alive while staying close to the tank (i.e. refer to what I said above).
Those who played Astrologian should know what is Helios. Yes, this was me astroturfing as an Astrologian. Then I went online. Google is your good friend for a reason: This. That's where I went terribly wrong. If I had clicked on the tank via the group list UI, I'd have saved myself and the rest plenty of trouble. Granted I did say I was learning the ropes (it didn't help that my first and current healer job is an astroturfing Astrologian instead of a White Mage), but I believed I'd have been scolded if I was playing another MMO. The fact that Square Enix believed insulting people and cancel culture are never part of its Human Rights Charter clearly helped a lot.
Truth be told, I'd have a much easier time had I known this trick. To all my fellow newbies out to try a healer, please don't follow my dumb mistake. Right now, I have this heavy feeling of failure. Scarily, the only way for me to exorcise the demon of failure is to try again. That's likely going to take me a few days to recover from the keyboard headbanging. Hopefully, I don't mistake Esuna for Essential Dignity again. It's not a joke, that actually happened and it cost the tank a respawn since I key-bound the two next to each other.
Thankfully, the trainwreck of a dungeon run was Tam-Tara Deepcroft at level 15. If I did a Haukke Manor instead, I shudder to imagine what's going to happen.
Some things I thought about as an (astroturfing) Astrologian
Apart from the dumb mistake of not doing what I should do, astroturfing as an Astrologian did throw up some interesting questions for me. One of them is how much mobility I need. The trick I see in using Astrologian is weaving the Arcanum mechanic into the spell casting. This requires me to slow down, pick a card, and play it. Think of it as a holding midfielder with the ball at his feet and thinking where to pass. It's not an understatement to say that Astrologians need to process at least two things at a time per 30 seconds. For me, there's no way I can try doing that while moving.
This means I need to rely on higher raw healing (i.e. Savage Aim and Savage Might instead of attempting Quicktongue melds). Helios is good for phalanx tactics (and it worked decently well in that first run of mine), but that's not a given for every fight. For the tank, it's Benefic and Essential Dignity (note that I'm NOT going beyond level 30). Right now, I need to decide whether the Benefic II-Benefic I rotation should be used or just Benefic II with Essential Dignity. I should have an easier time once I unlock Aspected Benefic (and Aspected Helios as well for that matter) since I don't see any point in sticking with Benefic I beyond this point.
As for the card buffing, I find recalling the different cards to be surprisingly easy. It's like testing something for the first time only for it to be imprinted inside the head. I still need some testing to see whether this feeling is legit or not, but I have to say it's the first time I felt decently confident at something I shouldn't be in the first place. Either way, I'd probably be aiming to master a two-symbol Astrodyne usage.
But before that, I really need to learn the ropes by running specific dungeons instead of doing a Duty Roulette to settle myself into a healer's pace. Otherwise, the only thing I'd be confident in is causing a wipe.
For the damage dealing, I find it easier to spam Malefic with casting Combust in between. This is the opposite of my Black Mage approach where I'd first apply the DoT. The reason is that as a healer, I need to switch between damage and heal while playing a DPS means I can floor the accelerator and feed off the momentum. In short, I need to quit my habit(s) as a DPS player if I want to be good at being a healer, let alone an actual Astrologian. In mob fights, it's harder for me to process things. Against bosses, it should be easier since my focus function like a sniper's scope instead of a machine gun. Wait, that came out wrong.
Haiyo! Dark Forces!
When it comes to resonating with myself, it's not just Shadowbringers. When we talk about mental resilience, it's never my fellow Singaporeans but Guts of the Berserk fame. In fact, I'd say Guts was the OG of the dark Japanese fiction protagonist archetype. I doubt it's a coincidence that characters like Emiya Kiritsugu and Vash the Stampede arrived after Miura Kentaro's OG. My liking for great characters instead of merely strong ones is clearly connected to the dark side of Japanese storytelling.
So why Guts instead of my fellow Singaporeans? Originally, I had no intent to alt a tank job, let alone a healer. Then it happened after I defeated Thordan in the final Heavensward trial. Long story short, Thordan and Ramuh had something in common apart from being geezers. Both ah-kongs saw something in the Warrior of Light. Ah-kong Ramuh was composed while ah-kong Thordan was seized by terror. The source of this terror? Guts.
Okay, that's a lie. Guts merely inspired the Dark Knight job. Something is inspiring about the Dark Knight job backstory. And that is the lonely road of righteousness where warriors of darkness fought for the greater good without being noticed, let alone appreciated. If you need any proof that FF14 isn't something you'd expect from Mediacorp, look no further than the Dark Knights. Needless to say, I blame my urge instead of Miura-san for trying out the Dark Knight instead of Warrior class.
The thing about being a tank is that trusting your back to the healer is a major part of your job. Self-heal can only take you this far unless you're a Warrior.
For Dark Knight, my current best bet for self-heal is Souleater. Actually, that's every Dark Knight's only bet. The fun part of using Dark Knight is that it has some nice MP recovery options. When it comes to MP usage, it's synonymous with one word: Darkside. There's a reason why Dark Arts is legit. I actually went through the Dark Knight official guide and what I see is an interesting balance between resource usage and resource-free usage. In other words, the hard part is waiting for me on the other side. There's no way I can plan beforehand how to make things work until I reach... well, the other side.
Running Dark Knight is far more straightforward than astroturfing an Astrologian just like how it's more straightforward running a Warrior compared to a White Mage. Just get in there, trust your healer, and get the job done. And don't forget to commend the healer before saying bye unless you're a Warrior. In this case, it's your call.
I ran two dungeons on Duty Roulette: Tam-Tara Deepcroft and Haukke Manor. In the former, I actually ran with Grit against mobs and switched off Grit in favour of Provoke against the last boss. If I didn't realise better, I'd think that's the way to get things done in striking a balance between aggro management and surviving a boss fight. Thanks to a kindhearted fellow DPS player in Haukke Manor, I realised I got it wrong. His/her advice was simple: Just turn on your Grit. If there's anything good in being a newbie, it'd be that I have no reason to be arrogant. Humility is a virtue even if others see it as an obscenity once you look at the world long enough. This is also why playing video games can be a positive distraction so long as no one calls Dr Carl Jung Shin-ri. For me, I'm lucky because I have a life at least once every Sunday. In a real sense, church to me is what Godo was to Guts and Rem to Vash. It's really a good thing that the FF14 community is far removed from the people who scarred me emotionally in school.
Unlike my astroturfing Astrologian, I'm much more confident in doing Duty Roulette with my Dark Knight. The only catch? I'm nearing my 50K Grand Company seals cap.
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