Anyway, here is a happy Lunar New Year to all, regardless of whether you're a cynical realist like me or a deluded idealist like... well, the rest of the world.
Since this post is about Johnny Chinese, I might as well up a relevant music vid. Not that I've yet to up this song anyway.
DISCLAIMER!
I'm no expert in translating archaic Chinese. Hence, please be noted that there will be inaccuracies and the occasional English football chant being warranted. With that being said, there may be moments where I'd just rip and paste off Wikipedia.
Now if only I could remember to copy and paste this in every post under this label all the while.
Crazy son of a loser?
[天下将乱，乃学击剑骑射，招聚少年，给其衣食，往来南山中射猎，阴相部勒，讲武习兵。父老咸曰：“鲁氏世衰，乃生此狂儿！”]
Trans: As chaotic times neared, he (Lu Su) started learning swordsmanship, horsemanship, and archery. He gathered youths, gave them food and clothing, and started hunting expeditions in the southern mountains. He deployed men at Yinxiang, engaged in military discussions, and training soldiers. All the clan elders said, "The Lu clan is in decline, hence this unruly child born!"
Don't we all love Sir Terry Pratchett's Interesting Times? They say the only constant in life is death and taxes, I say the only constant in history is chaos and turmoil. Don't believe me, go look at the United States of America and answer me whether the States is currently united or disunited. You can't blame the cynical realist for saying the nation has never progressed beyond the days of black Uncle Tom and white Uncle Tommy. But it's not just the U.S. More than the Yanks, the Chinese people are arguably more famous for fighting among themselves. From the Warring States era to the War of Chu-Han and from the twilight years of Eastern Han to An Lushan and Shi Siming, these are just a few examples. Then you have names like Li Shimin and Li Zicheng plus the KMT and CCP. If you think Americans are bad enough, you ain't seen the Chinese at their worst.
This was why Johnny Lu Su decided to be that black sheep of the clan. I don't know if the Lu clan believed in karma, but having someone like Johnny Lu Su was a cause for concern. And it has got nothing to do with the name Johnny.
How do you define the term unruly? The reason why Johnny Lu Su was called unruly was due to his mannerism not conforming to the acceptable standards. Ever wondered why you're being demonised by your fellow Republicans or Democrats for being a moderate/centrist? That's because you're not acceptable in the eyes of the acceptable standard. The same for Johnny Lu Su.
However, desperate times called for desperate measures. The only reason why the clan elders thought Johnny Lu Su was under the Trump category was that they couldn't agree with the way he viewed the situation. The text mentioned the nearing of chaotic times, not the arrival of chaotic times. In other words, it's very likely those self-assured old folks didn't really believe the era is really that bad. So much for the tide pods, huh?
Johnny Lu Su's choice of learning could be categorised under the personal and strategic. Learning how to use the sword, riding a horse, and shooting arrows belonged to the personal. Personal choices intended to prepare the self. And it's not just the men because we also have women like Hua Mulan, Fan Lihua, and Mu Guiying during their respective era out to prove a point.
As for the rest, they're strategic. Forget about Johnny Rambo, the one-man-army logic was a lie made in Hollywood due to deeds of machismo being Hollywood's favourite subject. Gathering millennials who think like that one fellow millennial is called being strategic. And Johnny Lu Su back then was very likely the era's equivalent of a millennial. As if this wasn't enough, he gave them military training in the form of hunting expeditions. Back then, they didn't have guns. To survive required wits and guts more than your favourite assault rifle.
If this wasn't crazy enough, crazier stunts were waiting for the reader. The term 阴相部勒 was hard to translate. I needed to find the meaning of the individual character words. The last two words 部勒 were relatively easier to understand as they implied military command/deployment of soldiers. The first two words were the real deal in difficulty level because it read like offering advice in secret.
Yinxiang was a place near Jiangling, which by the way was part of northern Jing Province. We all know who's the boss there, his surname was Liu, and he's not Liu Bei. Lu Su's home was in modern-day Anhui. Back then, it meant Linhuai was nearer to the Jing Province than what we'd like to think otherwise. More specifically, Linhuai was sandwiched between Liu Biao's territory and Sun Ce's kingdom. This enabled Johnny Lu Su to become his own version of Moses minus the Red Sea (but that's because the only sea available was the one separating China from Korea instead of the one separating Egpyt from Mount Sinai).
Yinxiang was a place near Jiangling, which by the way was part of northern Jing Province. We all know who's the boss there, his surname was Liu, and he's not Liu Bei. Lu Su's home was in modern-day Anhui. Back then, it meant Linhuai was nearer to the Jing Province than what we'd like to think otherwise. More specifically, Linhuai was sandwiched between Liu Biao's territory and Sun Ce's kingdom. This enabled Johnny Lu Su to become his own version of Moses minus the Red Sea (but that's because the only sea available was the one separating China from Korea instead of the one separating Egpyt from Mount Sinai).
Needless to say, Johnny Lu Su was meant to be the mover and shaker when it came to being a millennial, not some unruly son of a Lu'ser.
How to differentiate a Johnny Lu Su from a Johnny Loser?
We all should know the difference between a Johnny Lu Su and a Johnny Loser by now. It's like comparing the words 体貌魁奇，少有壮节，好为奇计 with the words spoken on the internet. So was Johnny Lu Su right? The answer was nothing less than a yes. The self-assured old folks thought that unruly millennial took in too much tide pods, events recorded below proved Johnny Lu Su was never legally high.
[后雄杰并起，中州扰乱，肃乃命其属曰：“中国失纲，寇贼横暴，淮、泗间非遗种之地，吾闻江东沃野万里，民富兵强，可以避害，宁肯相随俱至乐土，以观时变乎？”
其属皆从命。乃使细弱在前，强壮在后，男女三百馀人行。州追骑至，肃等徐行，勒兵持满，谓之曰：“卿等丈夫，当解大数。今日天下兵乱，有功弗赏，不追无罚，何为相逼乎？”
又自植盾，引弓射之，矢皆洞贯。骑既嘉肃言，且度不能制，乃相率还。肃渡江往见策，策亦雅奇之。]
Trans: Henceafter, many ambitious men rose up and the central region was plunged into chaos. Su asked his followers: "The central region has lost every semblance of order and violent bandits are emboldened. The areas of Huai and Si are no longer suitable for us to stay. I heard the territory of Jiangdong boasts of fertile soil stretching ten thousand li. The people there are wealthy enough and the soldiers are strong enough. We can seek refuge there, so who is willing to seek a paradise with me while waiting for a change in times?"
His followers decided to heed his words. Lu Su then deployed the physically weak and delicate at the front with the fighting men at the rear. Altogether, more than three hundred men and women made the journey. When the local cavalry made their pursuit and caught up with them, Su and his followers slowed down with his soldiers drawing their bows. Then he questioned the pursuers: "You are men who should understand what is important. We are facing times of turmoil. Those with merit are not rewarded and those who relent (against the wicked) are not punished. So why are you persecuting us?"
Then he planted shields (???) and commanded his soldiers to fire. The arrows penetrated the shields (!!!). The pursuing cavalry admired Lu Su's words. At the same time, they could not prevent the refugees from crossing over (to Jiangdong). Thus, they returned back (to base). Su managed to cross the river and meet (Sun) Ce. And Ce was utterly amazed.
Interesting times ahead for America? Currently, there are many Democrats vying for presidential candidacy. From Kamala Harris to Joe Biden, the DNC is surely starting to get competitive. So long we don't get to see Bernie Sanders getting yet another Montreal Screwjob, I'm perfectly fine with it. And by that, I mean it'd be a good thing to see Bernie Sanders attempting to become the first Jewish president in the history of the United States. After all, Obama was the first black president in the history of the United States. If you're good enough, race and gender is never an issue. Otherwise, you're just another Yuan Shao or Yuan Shu regardless of race, religion, gender, or even sexual orientation. Let alone political loyalty and ideology.
Rewind N years backwards and you got plenty of who's who declaring himself as "the best man to unify a chaotic nation full of chaotic people". This is NOT to say every one of them was useless and feckless. You have the useless and feckless ones like the two Yuans, Gongsun Zan, and Lu Bu, Not to mention that horny and sadistic dictator Dong Zhuo. But you have the capable ones as well. Just that they're part of the minority. You have Cao Cao and Sun Ce. Then you have Sun Quan and Liu Bei later on. Bummer Sun Jian died too early, though. The Tiger of Jiangdong was truly a patriotic tiger of a man.
It was during those times where not everyone knew who to vote for (figuratively speaking of course) that Johnny Lu Su decided to stage an exodus. Not that one starting from Egypt because Johnny Lu Su was no Moses Lu Su. But there's a problem. Imagine Katniss Everdeen of the Kat Brigade saying, "Johnny, we have a problem". And what was the problem? Enforcers of the law who got nothing better to do. Okay, that's a lie. Those people were under unreasonable orders to bring back the refugees. To Johnny Lu Su, however, it's persecution. No questions about it. Can you imagine the governments of Mexico, El Salvador, etc doing this? Unacceptable and unforgivable, I say! Put right what is wrong and fix what is broken if you want to one-up that white guy in the White House! Then if things still don't turn out right, at least it won't be your fault.
Back to Johnny Lu Su. Now there were two aspects of his strategy when it came to reasoning with the pursuers.
["You are men who should understand what is important."]
[“卿等丈夫，当解大数。”]
Right from the start, Johnny Lu Su sent a message of assurance minus the bending over. The situation was about being pursued, not the pursuers. It's like what I insanely did a few days ago.
["We are facing times of turmoil. Those with merit are not rewarded and those who relent (against the wicked) are not punished. So why are you persecuting us?"]
[“今日天下兵乱，有功弗赏，不追无罚，何为相逼乎？”]
Then Johnny Lu Su began his hairdryer treatment. Although granted he never called anyone a bastard, unlike Sir A.Fergie. Believe it or not, it's very easy to reason with people whose only sin was to follow unreasonable orders. By asking damning questions, Johnny Lu Su managed to convince the pursuers the absurdity of the situation.
1. 有功弗赏. It's like asking whether Russell Moore should be branded a liberal just because he's guilty of criticising what many conservatives are guilty of.
2. 不追无罚. It's like dismissing obscene talk as locker room banter just because people thought Donald Trump was a better man than Jonathan Edwards.
3. 何为相逼乎？No reason+no cause=why are you persecuting us? It's not as if Damascus was in China and the two rivers in China were called Euphrates and Tigris respectively.
Warning shots and why always Jiangdong
As if verbal reasoning wasn't enough an assurance, Johnny Lu Su pulled off something which could only be called crazy. Or in Singaporean language, sibeh siao.
1. He planted shields between his people and the pursuers instead of trying to fight back. It's like asking me why I preferred Reuters and The Christian Science Monitor to The Online Citizen and States Times Review.
2. He ordered the Kat Brigade to prove they can be equally badass, if not badder than the men pursuing them. Suffice to say, the Kat Brigade did not fail to impress and awe.
Yes, I know Johnny Lu Su was siao. Sibeh siao just like how my schoolmates during secondary school enjoyed calling me. But there's a reason why he did that.
1. The shields were Johnny Lu Su's way of telling the pursuers he did not want a conflict. Let alone casualties and bloodshed.
2. The Kat Brigade's awesome show of féminin badassery was Johnny Lu Su's way of warning his pursuers not to mistake goodwill for weakness.
Thankfully, the cavalry was nothing like your average radical left or far-right neighbour. Firstly, they actually agreed with Johnny Lu Su's logic. Secondly, there's no way (and reason) for them to stop their brethren's journey into Jiangdong. Note that the words 且度不能制 implied that the refugees were already nearer to Jiangdong than we'd think otherwise.
Which now comes to the question: Why always Jiangdong? It's like Super Mario asking a similar question.
Remember what I said about Johnny Lu Su's homeland? No need to scroll back up, just listen to what I'm going to say here: His homeland was effectively sandwiched between the Jing Province and Jiangdong.
In other words, he got two choices. Either to the Jing Province or Jiangdong. Back then, the Jing Province was extremely wealthy. So why Jiangdong? The answer should be very simple: He's not one thinking like a typical... well, Singaporean. He's not just after a decently comfortable life. If life is like fireworks going off, then Johnny Lu Su would never settle for anything less than the most beautiful show. This was what separated him from the typical... well, Singaporean. *shrugs* The decision to seek a better life was for his people, but the decision to move south instead of towards Jing Province was for himself.
So what was his future boss' brother's reaction?
Interestingly enough, the entire sequence of events quite obviously took place after he generously lavished Zhou Yu's army with more than enough grain. In fact, it was due to this first meeting that the two became close friends. Hence, the term 定侨、札之分. At the same time, Yuan Shu also heard of Johnny Lu Su. In chaotic times like this, getting a real talent was worth much more than having a group of foreign talents. However, there's always a rule to this kind of situation: In times of turmoil, the truly capable chooses his master, not the other way around. You live or die by your choice, you go boom or bust by your decision. For every Zhang Liang or Chen Ping, there'd be a Fan Zeng. For every Guo Jia, there'd be a Tian Feng or Ju Shou. Hence, the saying 能臣择主，良禽择木而栖. Long story short, Johnny Lu Su rejected Yuan Shu's job offer. This could also be another chief reason why the exodus started. Again, let us refer back to why Johnny Lu Su opted for Jiangdong instead of Jing Province.
Sun Ce wasn't just impressed. He was extremely impressed. It should be obvious that Zhou Yu put up a good word for his BFF. Recommendation letter+whatever happening recently=you're hired.
Before I end this Pt II
Let me just explain the logic behind Johnny Lu Su's manner of deployment. Going by common sense logic, it should be the Kat Brigade in front with the rest behind. The reality was the opposite. So why did Johnny Lu Su opted for this polarity switch? It's like asking me why I was crazy enough to pull this off.
Like how the intuitive approach would to consolidate and beat those salty Koreans in the maritime industry, the intuitive approach should be to place the soldiers in front. Now it must be stated that the soldiers were well-trained in artillery arts. In other words, any bandit brigade attacking the commoners would have to face a barrage of arrows. Since we're talking about ranged warfare, hail after hail of metal tipped projectiles would be an effective deterrence. After all, they're only after the money and... well, pretty girls.
At the same time, having the soldiers holding the rear also gave them an additional tactical edge apart from the one I mentioned just now. Namely, the possibility of pursuit from the local security. Since Johnny Lu Su was a genius strategist who enjoyed honing his talent (be it 4 teh lolz or not), he should have already predicted this. If you want to know what a two-pronged strategy looks like, look no further than this.
P.S: To explain why I suggested making friends with the salty Koreans instead of trying to win, let's see things this way. You have South Korea situated at the + and Singapore at the -. It's like visualising a geographic battery where having an edge in the relevant region's maritime industry is concerned. And besides, Moon Jae-in is now very gung-ho about the ASEAN region. Just don't ask me whether this will work.
To be continued...
To be continued...
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