It's official: Mists of Ravenloft
Okay, there's no such story as The Mists of Ravenloft. You have Mists of Pandaria and The Mists of Avalon. But no, there's no such creative work called The Mists of Ravenloft. Unless John decides to do a plot that goes something like this:Years have passed since Lord Protector Dagult Neverember managed to establish diplomatic ties between Neverwinter and Cormyr. Arylos, the Sword of Kelemvor, was recently sent to the Protector's Enclave while Lucas Shaneway III, the prodigal son of House Shaneway, ended up going the other direction to Suzail. This was due to the former's fame spreading wide and far as the finest tactician Faerûn has ever seen. As a result, Lord Neverember requested for Queen Raedra Obarskyr's agreement to let Arylos aid Neverwinter against external threats either resurgent or already in existence. In the Land of the Purple Dragon, Lorelei Gravesower was assigned to Lucas as his personal adviser and cleric. At the City of Skilled Hands, Xuna was commissioned by Lord Neverembe to be Arylos' personal bodyguard against drow assassins and agents working for the Ashmadai.
Arylos' tactical mastery swiftly proved to be a boon to the troops defending their home against those who desire either Neverwinter's ruin or its riches. Most notably those stationed at Rothé Valley, for a resurgent House Xorlarrin was out to reclaim the region once again. As for Lucas, his strategic mind soon proved himself to be shrewd deployer of men where the difference between decoy troops and main forces were easily blurred. Thus both Cormyr and Neverwinter benefitted from the deal.
As for Arylos' unlikeliest lover Cyrea Durothil, Favored of Mystra, she was currently holding the fort in Evermeet. Together with the rogue Myrreas who brought with him a mysterious man proclaiming himself as the famed wizard Tenser.
Cormyr, Neverwinter, and Evermeet. If there was anything in common between three very different factions, it'd be defending against an imminent invasion from Stradh von Zarovich, the Dark Lord of Barovia. For someone stole his most prized weapon, the bastard sword Thirst: A Barovian woman named Ireena Kolyana currently under the protection of the newly returned Queen of Evermeet, Amlaruil Moonflower.
Note: John just read the Forgotten Realms wiki article on the novel Hero. He thought it's the end of FR paper/hardback as all know it. Then everybody realised those Wizards of the Coast still got a spell readied somewhere.
Add note: Above plot takes place after the events of Ravenloft in the Neverwinter game. Arylos and co are officially not part of the Neverwinter game unless it's the actual gaming.
Why 2 in 1=2 for the price of 1?
Because the maths should be very simple: This post will comprise of this year's World Cup (i.e. Laobu Said Knock You Out) and the brand new mod Ravenloft for Neverwinter (i.e. Not some ganja).
Let's talk about The Mists of Ravenloft
The bad side of the verdict is that... well, the mod is badly bugged. In the Barovia zone, you're guaranteed a 50-50 chance of riding the buggy (i.e. John's way of saying "the damn thing is really bugged and buggy"). Those who remember that heroic encounter involving bailing out the merchants at Reclamation Rock would know there's no way Helm was able to deliver the gamers from the glitch. Kill the first wave and the rest would decide to stay in their sorry hole. Same logic goes for bailing out the merchants at Barovia. There are 16 ambushers available to be killed, but there's a 50-50 chance that taking down 12 of them would result in the remaining 4 hiding in their sorry den. As if that's not enough, even busting the Auril pole in Icewind Dale would present the risk of riding the damned buggy. So if you failed to damage any of the undead in the process of cutting down the pole, you should know why.
To make things worse, Throne of the Dwarven Gods skirmish is terribly and horribly bugged. If you think the thoon hulks look like something created by Urobuchi "aka Urobutcher" Gen for the next Saya no Uta plot, be prepared for those mutated Davy Jones riding buggies horrendously bugged. Whenever a red arrow points at the right direction, there's a 50-50 chance of the thoon hulk driving the other way despite where the red arrow is pointing. The only way to deal with this buggy ride (at least until the devs fix the buggy engine) is to bait the thoon hulk with a single hit. It should be easy to do that. At the most, it should be 3 hits (by John's guess, that is). Once the red arrow comes, keep your fingers crossed. If the buggy ride goes wrong, it should end up near the intended target (be it one of the gates or the throne dome). Then bait it again in the same manner until the thoon hulk hits the target with a glancing hit. It's actually possible, believe it or not. So long the thing doesn't expire before its rightful time, that is.
So far, the latest patch has addressed some other aspects of the bug buggity bug. So here's hoping the heroic encounters get fixed. To be honest, the Barovia heroic encounters do give a better yield unlike bailing out those Barovian's BFFs at Reclamation Rock. And yes, the devs really need to fix every thoon hulk's buggy ride asap. That's top priority.
As for the newly done random queue system, John strongly recommends doing two queues. Namely, levelling up queues and intermediate queues. The rough astral diamonds yield totalled up to 20K minus whatever invocation bonus (8K for levelling up and 12K for intermediate if John recalls correctly). However, the random queue system is now applicable to account instead of characters. In short, there's no difference between having 7 characters in your PC roster and your BFF having 2 characters in his/her PC roster. While John is unable to predict whether this move would provoke a backlash from the community, he's very sure that this was to prevent accounts with a higher number of characters from exploiting the glaringly obvious loophole like a Trump.
This comes to the matter of additional rough astral diamonds income. There are two options to this. The first would be weekly quests for Sharandar, Dread Ring, Icewind Dale, Tyranny of Dragons, Rise of Tiamat, and Maze Engine. At the same time, there's also the option of getting rough astral diamonds via the Underdark campaign once you completed the progress (excluding the boons). So try to get all your characters (if possible) to finish the Underdark quest. If the demonic ichor is nearing the 800 limit cap before you managed to finish the campaign, buy drowcraft gear for salvaging. Ideally, try going for the body armour because it can yield 4K-6K worth of rough astral diamonds (depending on the invocation bonus). At the same time (that is if you got the time to burn), run a standard dungeon just to farm Seals of the Adventurer. Getting the amount up to at least 500 seals shouldn't be a problem. After that, purchase a bag of 500 rough astral diamonds (500 seals per bag).
Of course, farming for Seals of the Brave is a must for alts out to get a quick fix for the gear. Basically, it should be a fail-safe way of surviving Barovia beyond the starting quests. Alternatively, the Seals of the Brave gear can be salvaged as well. Seals farming can be done either via random queuing or by selecting the relevant raids. For the less confident where the Seals of the Brave are concerned, just opt for these skirmishes: Master of the Hunt, Dread Legion, Prophecy of Madness, and Throne of the Dwarven Gods.
So is it all doom and gloom from the nearest thing to Stradh von Zarovich? Well, Barovia is fun. Unlike Storm King's Thunder and Sea of Moving Ice, Ravenloft is never another Icewind Dale where the challenge level never measured up correctly with the loot quality. The heroic encounters tend to yield at least three kinds of stuff: Barovian coins, Seals of the Brave, and some shiny green thing for restoring the new Sunset weapons set. On the first glance, the Sunset set bonus looks like meh. But because this set is the highest level artifact weapons set available so far (i.e. item level 520), the 5% bonus in damage and healing is truly good. At the same time, it's constantly active. Which means the dps return should be considered BiS status. If you want to take into account the additional bonus activated by being in the Barovia zone, it's really a cool set to have. That is unless you want to factor in the Tyrant set for that one and only Omu three star hunt. But even then, it takes quite a bit of effort. So if you're into a 5 member hunt for the undead rex, go ahead and have fun taking it down in the name of Kelemvor. Just make sure you get enough Soulmonger Ampoules to max it out. Right now, Exalted version gives you a level 520 instead of 500 which is the same as the Sunset weapons. Whether it's possible to do an Exalted version of Sunset weapons is something John has yet to explore. Because believe it or not, he has yet to try Cradle of the Death God. In fact, he has yet to run normal Svardborg. No matter what, Sunset weapons should be for everyone who doesn't want to spend time and frustration dealing with undead reptiles and an equally undead cancer tumour.
The AI in Barovia is quite fun to fight. Defensively wise, the ones at Chult are tougher. Or rather, they should be since John hasn't been going there since Stradh usurped Acererak (then again, we're talking about the boss of Castle Ravenloft, one of the most badass and underrated villains in the fantasy/supernatural genre). However, they're the fastest hitters in the game right now. As a result, the damage can escalate quickly. If you're running as a dps, you may want to test out whether a non-augment companion is better than your fave augment BFF (some say it's a cat). Because the AI attacking speed is fast (and insanely fast once night has fallen), it may be easier to use your companion as a decoy (that is so long you're not using a leader companion). Inevitably, the companion will go down. But at least it's better than the mob jumping on you right from the beginning.
Note: John will be doing a new post on the various minions serving Stradh von Zarovich. That plus some stuff on his characters, Arylos and the rest.
Add note: Before John progresses to the football, he decided to showcase what kind of creativity was created from a traumatic past involving people.
Will Spain win it against all odds?
It depends on who Hero/Zero Hierro will start on one side of the offensive width. Russia will most likely do what it did best against the Arabs from Saudi. Namely, ambush warfare from either flank. Against Saudi Arabia, it worked. Against Egypt... well, John never watched the match. As for Uruguay, everyone knows Óscar Wily likes to play it physical. Most likely that's how Russia has to face Spain instead of Portugal.
In order to prove Bernd "Der Bernd" Schuster was wrong in giving Hero/Zero Hierro the burn while proving that Dani "not Ayala" Carvajal was right in giving Der Bernd back his burn, Hero/Zero Hierro needs to decide who gets the coveted hole 9 role. Consider the fact that the starting 3 behind Diego "El Bestia" Costa would always be Isco, Andrés "El Gigante" Iniesta, and David "El Mercurio" Silva. It's either Cisco Isco Disco or El Gigante in that VIP position. However, neither of the two are exactly the fastest amigo alive in the team. Unless Hero/Zero Hierro wants to risk a third-degree Bernd by fielding this high-risk amigo below instead of El Gigante or El Mercurio.
This is not to say La Furia Roja is screwed. In fact, Russia is the best opponent Hero/Zero Hierro can hope to have. Assuming Russia decides to play the ambush offensive strategy once more, it means Spain's possession-centric game can shaft the Russian hussars like a Vlad. If Russia has the ball, Spain can afford to wait. After all, patience was key to the tiki-taka from 2004 to 2008 and the reverse tiki-taka from 2008 to 2016. Tiki-taka and reverse tiki-taka reflect the physical and intellectual aspect of football, but patience is the mental aspect that makes the whole system work.
If Spain has the ball, Russia will be in trouble. Russia as a team is one thriving on defensive possession in order to spring an offensive ambush down the flank. Without the ball, Russia is impaled. With the ball, La Furia Roja can easily emulate the savagery of Vlad III.
However, a victory over Russia won't solve Hero/Zero Hierro's woes. He still needs to decide what to do with the width. The fact is, Spain needs aggression down one flank while retaining its technical DNA on the other end of the width. Lucas "not Leiva" Vázquez didn't exactly lit up the games so far in this World Cup (although it must be pointed out that he only started in one game and that was against an Iran out to park the Persian infantry). Yet, will he be the final solution to Spain's need for aggression going forward?
If the answer is yes, then Hero/Zero Hierro will need to make a ruthless decision: Should he drop Iniesta or Silva? After all, Carvajal had to fight the burn once again. It has got nothing to do with form. It's purely tactical. And no, no one should ever drop Isco from the team. Not Like Ever.
If the answer is yes, then Hero/Zero Hierro will need to make a ruthless decision: Should he drop Iniesta or Silva? After all, Carvajal had to fight the burn once again. It has got nothing to do with form. It's purely tactical. And no, no one should ever drop Isco from the team. Not Like Ever.
East versus North
More specifically, it's Croatia versus Denmark. Pundits may be predicting a big win for the Croats. But is it that simple? Against Argentina, the Balkans Boys made Evita cry for Argentina instead of the opposite. But the Danes are a different fleet of monsters altogether. John saw the match between Denmark and France. Despite playing with an offensive four-man frontline, the Danes were always five steps ahead comfortably when it came to the defensive organisation (note: Monsieur Deschampions actually opted to chuck Blaise "he always guards the base" Matuidi out from the right side of a 4-2-3-1 midfield. Which was quite literally anti-Deschampions).
Unlike the Saudis from Arabia, Denmark truly played it smart. The Arabs from Saudi opted for man-marking, the Danish Marks, on the other hand, opted for a zonal approach. Apart from a few scares, Denmark was comfortably parking the longships in front of goal. From the kitchen sink to Grendel's mum, Les Bleus threw everything they had against the opposition. Still, the Danish Marks defended with nary a batting of the eyelid.
While John has no problem in guessing a Balkans win, the key for this to be possible lies in an effective two-pass offensive. One from Ivan "the Great" Rakitić at the back and the other from Luka "he passes the ball with the Force" Modrić from the middle 3rd.
As for the Danish Marks, it's gonna be a question of whether Christian "the Hans Christian Andersen of football" Eriksen is able to alternate between stringing passes from the deep and linking up play just behind the firing line.
Oh, and one more thing. John might have seen a glimpse of the real Martin "the great black Dane" Braithwaite. His aggression in going forward against the French backline should be a cause for (positive) concern where #Pulisman and Boro are concerned. Just make sure he gets to play in the central striker's role next season.
Gonzo>Be Gonzo>Begone?
You really gotta feel for Paul "not Scholes" Merson. That is unless you're as English as a Harry. This bloke predicted Huddersfield would be relegated. He did a Gonzo instead. And now, he's risking an act of mercy killing from the fans.
It must be stated that Beaumains Southgate is fast proving himself to be the right man for the English job since Sir Alf Ramsey brought football home 52 years ago. That'd be half a century plus two. Predicting football is coming home again after half a century plus two is like predicting Emilia "404 Jon and Daario not found" Clarke will get her long-awaited boyfriend in the same year. Possible? Yes. 50-50 chance? It remains to be seen.
Let John deliver a damning verdict on Beaumains Southgate first: His Royal Majesty Gibbo was right in firing poor Beaumains like a Trump. Yes, you've heard John L'Otter said it. Yes, it's truly a harsh verdict coming from an otter.
The reason is very simple: No one would want to see Boro going up and down like an angry Khal Drogo jumping up and down on a person's back. Now it must be said that Beaumains Southgate is a tactically smart bloke. At least he's smarter than Alan "Skipper English" Shearer. However, John did have doubts about Beaumains Southgate's ability to manage the dressing room. A blazing run in the first half of what proved to be his last top-flight season as a gaffer showed he's capable of being tactically astute. Getting blazed in the second half of the season proved something was terribly wrong. If it's not the tactical brain, then it's the man-management brain.
When the Under 21 team tanked like a Kyrgios, Southgate was hired by the FA to do something about the rot. On a hindsight, it was a shrewd move from the organisation that gave the nation absolutely nothing to cheer about. Then again, it seemed that Emma "not Louise Jones" Watson and Emma "not Watson" Louise Jones (not to mention as well Emilia "404 Jon and Daario not found" Clarke) were the only reason why the nation had something to cheer about prior to the Three Lions' current rampage minus the previous *bleep* against Belgium.
Fast forward to now and the English are in cloud nine minus the dope. The reason why John said FA did a shrewd move is that no one in the whole damn cluster of islands gave the U-21 team a single chance in Dante's hell to do something useful on the pitch. Then again, that might be the entire world instead. Simply put, no news was always good news for the Under 21 at that time. Without the pressure coming from the likes of Guardian, Daily Mail, and that tabloid title famous for its third page, Beaumains Southgate was able to work quietly. Then the next thing the nation realised, he was promoted by his bosses in the FA. Suffice to say, the entire nation thought football would only be coming home 520 years later. That is if the world has yet to crash and burn by then.
Now it must be stated that no one should read too much into the Belgium match. John looked at the starting XI and it was effectively a case of England emulating Japan (down the tools or a tool, you decide). In particular, the central midfield trio was anything but the winning XI tried and tested. Up front, Marcus "not Bent" Rashford was no Raheem "the 49 million GBP man" Sterling. In other words, Rashford is a warrior, not a wizard. This was effectively a half-arsed XI doomed to down the tools.
Against Colombia, the 49 million GBP man must start. The men from MEN actually did a good job of defending. Make no mistake about it. James "not Jesé" Rodríguez or no James "not Jesé" Rodríguez, Colombia will be out to do one thing: Batter the English midfield so that not a single goal will be scored during the 1st half.
In fact, there's a worrying trend about England right now. And that is a heavy reliance on a blazing first half. If the opposition can stop the Three Lions from scoring in the first 45 mins, it means Emilia "404 Jon and Daario not found" Clarke will have to wait for 4 more years. Oops, sorry wrong channel. It should be the nation that gives us Emilia, not the Khaleesi herself.
They say the best lock is one which is nigh-unpickable. This is not some misogynistic statement because it's being applied to football instead of women. At the same time, the best pick is one which can pick any lock. This has got nothing to do machismo because it's being applied to football instead of rugby. Sterling must start and Sterling must make sure he's the best locksmith England has at its disposal against the opposition.
Then you have Jesse "the second vanguard of the nation" Lingard. Harry "he chokeslams the opposition with his goals" Kane is getting all the correct headlines so far, but Lingard is that offensive fulcrum. By operating behind the attacking two, the lad can either drift to the flank in the name of supplying the ammo (hence making him a pseudo-wingback) or gunning forward to join the firing line that would look like a 3-4-3 in this case. Beaumains Southgate needs Lingard at his best if England wants to benefit greatly from the Anglo-Saxon hurricane and the 49 million GBP man.
Of course, this is not to say that football will be coming home like the prodigal son if all things go well. After all, that'd be like people assuming Emilia getting her elusive love this year just because she's hot.
Why always Kim?
After this year's World Cup, the world will have another #footballtrollinggod in the form of an Asian.
Actually, there's a difference between one Asian and another. The reason why John uses the surname Kim is that even the celebrities were tuning in. To spoof what someone said in her Instagram account, “Wow… really… tears are falling. I’m touched. #TaegukWarriors and #TrollingGodWarrior you’ve worked hard.”
Hopefully, John won't end up becoming a celebrity's fur coat over the #TGWarriors statement. Fans can be very scary at times, if not most.
Also, John decided to show the world that in the same way not all Asians truly look the same, not all Kims look the same.
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| The final image of #RedWhiteTrollingGod is done in the name of lolz. |
P.S: John decides to add in this tweet of his. Again, it's 4 teh lolz.
https://t.co/GJRPgInf67— Minghui Kuok (@Aeranath) June 18, 2018
“It’s very difficult for Westerners to distinguish between Asians”#asiantrollinggod@swedense key lies in the midfield linking up with the attack.@theKFA key lies in the midfield supported by the defence. https://t.co/GJRPgInf67
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