Forget about China Wine, hold my Europe beer Pt I

Okay, so we've arrived at the last two days of the World Cup. Surprisingly, Brazil wasn't in the top 4 party. Surprisingly, England made it this far. Not so surprisingly, Belgium also made it this far. Most surprisingly, Croatia usurped Brazil's right to be in the final. It's like a half-baked ITE graduate proven to be more capable than his fellow Singaporean who happened to be a university graduate with a history of studying in elite schools. More then Singapore, it seems that this year's World Cup is truly operating on meritocracy when you discovered Croatia and Belgium supplanting Brazil and Germany without batting an eyelid. So to Rob Mart and Mr Zlatko, John L'Otter salutes you for proving to the whole wide world that you don't need to be considered an elite to make things happen for your nation. After all, while not every football team is a good football team, any football team can be an exceptional team. Hopefully, John L'Otter won't be guilty of giving the FAS false hopes and deluded dreams.

Before John starts the ball rolling, allow him to show you all a list of alcoholic beverages. No, not the China Wine.

So there you have it. Forget about China Wine, hold my Europe beer.

Round 1: Leffe vs Strongbow

Gutting, isn't it? According to a Belgian, Belgium as a football team lost to an anti-football team in the form of France. As for England, the less said about the final ball the better. Actually, John will come to that. Interestingly, the battle between France and Belgium was reminiscent of Archer's fight against Lancer.

Ironically, the nation in red fought like the Servant in blue while the nation in blue fought like the Servant in red. Also, Rho Aias taking the form of a seven-layered shield painted like a flower with seven petals shouldn't be seen as some kind of socio-political/religious statement from Magic Kinoko himself.

Against a nation of blue, there's a problem plaguing a nation of red. It's called Romelu "the black Romulus" Lukaku gone MIA. There's a very good reason why Rob Mart decided to butter up his own man. On one hand, Harry "neither a knight nor a prince, let alone a politician from Singapore" Kane isn't Belgian. On the other hand, the black Romulus is a Belgian, black or no black. That's one of the reason.

However, there's another reason. John saw the match between the Les Bleus Archer and Les Diables Rouges Lancer. After the disappointment and excitement died down, Lukaku stood out from the rest for the wrong reason: Belgium might have won it if he did turn up to boss the box like the founder of the Roman Empire.

However, Rob Mart did pull off mistakes of his own. More specifically, Belgium lost the kind of penetration it had during the first half after France scored the decisive goal. Hazard went from the greatest BioHazard in modern day football to a random enemy shot down by either Jill Valentine or Leon Scott Kennedy. It's really that bad. And if Hazard couldn't perform, Belgium shouldn't be expecting Kevin "Der Bruyne" De Bruyne to carry the entire nation. In came Dries "Dr Dries" Mertens. His presence injected new life into an otherwise insipid show of the Belgian blitzkrieg. His presence outside the box and deadly crosses threatened to upset the balance like how Abraham van Helsing managed to upset Dracula's plans. Unfortunately, for some funny reason (most likely not due to some kind of curse coming from West Jerusalem), Mertens ran out of steam. The moment that happened, Belgium was screwed. Yes, Hazard did attempt a Ronaldo (the correct one from the correct Portuguese speaking nation fyi). Alas, it was a case of too little and more than just too late.

Against Croatia, one couldn't fault Andy's dad if he believed in England in the same way the English believed in England. It's like comparing the reputation of Raffles Institution with the image of Gan Eng Seng (Secondary) School. So what if the latter's principal went by the name of Ho Peng? A neighbourhood school is forever a neighbourhood school. RI will forever be the elite while every Gessian is doomed to be an average Singaporean. Mr Zlatko quite obviously never read the script. While this was never a case of David slaying Goliath, one could compare Croatia's victory over England as Sun Quan's victory over Cao Cao.

John is only upping this vid 4 teh lolz. Also, John is not about to answer whether Cao Cao was from RI. Let alone whether Zhou Yu was a Gessian. And no questions on whether Xiao Qiao graduated from Charles Sturt University.

What must go right for Les Diables Rouges and the Three Lions:

Like how Belgium was screwed by a nigh non-existent Lukaku (note that John uses the word nigh because Lukaku is still alive somewhere in Russia), England was screwed by its non-existent final ball. Like how one move from Zhou Yu in the video above became the defining moment of victory, the difference in the final ball quality was the defining moment of defeat for every English Harry. John has to be brutally honest here: The value of England's final ball was the square root of sod all. In particular, Harry has to shoulder the blame for all the misses he did with his final ball. And no, John is not blaming Maguire. It's the other Harry and he's not in Buckingham atm.

How the correct Harry managed to play the wrong ball forward highlighted two problems Beaumains Southgate must address shortly after this tournament is done. It's utterly cruel to the English. In fact, John was in two places at the same time. One place is called London, the other is called Zagreb. London is the place for every romantic. As for Zagreb, it's for the purists. Croatia played great football and it deserved to win it. England defended well from the penalty box to the midfield, alas if only the final ball was even half as good.

If things must go right for England, these two guys need to be considered. John calls them the black and white future of England. Because England is now a multi-cultural nation previously defined by the Anglo-Saxons. Just don't ask John whether Emilia "404 Jon and Daario not found" Clarke is a Eurasian.

The presence of Eric "Dire Dier" Dier and Ruben "seriously, when will the culture demand him NOT to turn the other cheek?" Loftus-Cheek in the team should give England hope aplenty. Since the hope is now gone this year, here's hoping for two years later.

Either way, Beaumains Southgate MUST find a way to pass the ball right from the midfield. In other words, his 3-5-2/3-1-4-2 must NOT just be about the back 3. Yes, it's good to see the likes of Harry "the next Cap Harry?" Maguire and John "officially proven not to be a stoner" Stones playing nice football and putting in a nice amount of defensive graft. But it is NOT enough. England MUST make sure it can play the ball out anywhere from the back 3 to the central mid. Captain Harry is not the captain England should be looking at when it comes to passing it forward. A hurricane can destroy many things, but it can never travel forward like a lightning bolt. And that's what England needs. Be it now or in the future, what is Beaumains Southgate gonna do about the middle 3 of his five-man midfield?

For Belgium, Rob Mart has the better life. The main problem with losing to an anti-football team (an irony given the national history of  La République itself) was Lukaku gone missing. John can't stress enough how this had knackered an entire nation. There's only this much the likes of BioHazard, Der Bruyne, and Dr Dries could do if that one emperor of a centre-forward went missing. If the black Romulus can rouse himself into action, then England will be in trouble. Period. Belgium will want to make this right at the end of the tournament. And if Lukaku can lead the team to victory like the real Romulus leading his troops from the front, that's it (note that John doesn't know whether the founder of the Roman Empire did attempt this kind of military stunt before). As for whether Dr Dries will start the game, it will have a major bearing on this Dead Rubber of Pride and Glory. His presence created a massive alarm for Les Bleus whenever he got the ball. Whenever he did a short ranged cross from outside the penalty area, John's heart was guilty of beating faster like a Lamborghini made in Belgium. That's how such a player can lit up the final match of Belgium's competitive season. If Dr Dries starts, then will Der Bruyne start in the holding mid? Rob Mart favours a 3-4-3 where Belgium is concerned. So long the wingbacks are able to keep things stable, there's no reason why Der Bruyne can't play as a holding mid. Remember, Rob Mart's fellow Catalan who currently lives in the city of Manchester made it possible. Catalans may be crazy, but you can't fault the genius in them. Bald or no bald.

Of course, it's not ITE for England. It's NOT The End, England. You did a fine job in defending the 20-yard box and middle 3rd. Your final ball was worth the square root of sod all against Croatia, but that's the only thing you'll need to work on. As John has said, Beaumains Southgate needs to create an effective 6-man passing block. 3 lads from back passing the ball, 3 lads at the centre mid doing the same. England only needs one defensive mid, that is whoever the guy deployed just in front of the back. If it reads like a diamond-shaped backline, you're reading it right.

P.S: Against France, Nacer "will he be Belgium's chad?" Chadli was seeing plenty of the ball out wide in the French half. In fact, he was the main source of ammunition supply. For some funny reason, he went MIA after John posted a few stuff on FB during the match.

Final P.S: John will be doing the final write up for the grand finale tomorrow. 9 pm atm, John has yet to eat his dinner.