Hopefully, John can get this done at the end of 11 pm here in Singapore. Also, having a Malay girl telling you to pergi mampus means telling you to go to hell. If John got it wrong, any Malay is free to correct him. And no, it doesn't have to be a pretty Malay girl.
Round 2: Kronenbourg 1664 Blanc vs Ožujsko
There's a reason why John decided to "help" Croatia. This was due to some original gangsta wannabe saying something he/she shouldn't have said. While it's perfectly fine for 13 yr old kids to behave like the kind of idiots they are (whether or not that idiot was 13 years old is of no relevance because even fully grown adults can shamelessly masquerade as kids and tweens on the internet), John decided to swear an oath. To help Croatia win it because that pesky little moron chose to support France. Not because he's a fan of Les Bleus but because he's a shameless flip-flopper. And you think the likes of BoJo and Don T are bad? Well, guess they're not the only ones.
Speaking of being shameless, John decided to share three shocking pieces of information.
http://republicofotters.blogspot.com/2018/07/forget-about-china-wine-hold-my-europe.html
It doesn't look good. Seriously, it doesn't. Apparently, for every Zhang Zhao, Cheng Pu, and Huang Gai in Singapore, you got a Zhou Gongjin as well. So will it be second time lucky/unlucky for John?
Due to some decision coming from the powers-that-be, there's no way John could watch the final (and the 3rd-4th placing match as well) free of charge on the Okto channel. John's family is too poor to afford cable. Just don't ask John whether he's a low SES Zhou Yu instead of a high SES Yuan Shu.
Key men for Vatreni and Mr Zlatko
John will just go straight to the most important aspect of any tactical/strategy post. Namely, the truly important guys and why they are considered VIP status.
Defence:
Dejan "not Louvre" Lovren is officially the new C.R Sete. Years ago, Wayne "and you think only Ireland was known for the Grannygate" Rooney was riled by what was an attempt to get him sent off. And it didn't help that the lad nearly castrated Ricardo "he came before William" Carvalho. It was mayhem. Sheer mayhem. Pure mayhem. However, this part is never about whether Lovren is now truly a G.O.A.T or some kind of talking kambing. This part is about two VIPs in the backline. And Lovren isn't one of them. Also, kambing is not a vulgarity. You can safely ask any Malay the meaning, pretty Malay girl or any other Malay.
Two players at the back caught John's eyes. One goes by the name Domagoj "he blocks the opposition in open play like DOMA" Vida and the other is Šime "don't say simisai footballer's name hor" Vrsaljko.
Against England, Vida was winning virtually every duel in open play against England. Lingard, Rashford, etc... it doesn't matter. Seriously, it doesn't Against England, Vrsaljko was responsible for two things. The first is exposing England's weakness. The other is to do it with his feet before doing it with his words. Should England be angry? Instead of being angry, Beaumains Southgate needs to sort out his central midfield because only the correct Harry and Stones were doing it right on the ground. He needs to have 2 ball playing mids in the middle of the park. And by that, John isn't referring to Fabian "does he have the depth?" Delph being the 3rd ball passing mid (note the maths?). If players like Eric "Der Dier" Dier and Ruben "can he loft the ball like a Spanish?" Loftus-Cheek are deemed surplus to the English cause, then there's no hope for the English cause at all. It's just going to be a question of who will inherit Jordan "unrelated to Henderson Primary School" Henderson at the tip of a defensive diamond and who will challenge Jesse "so when will this second vanguard come good?" Lingard for a starting place (that's provided Dele "will it be hello from the other side for him?" Alli keeps his place due to his ability to go box to box).
Enough about England. Let's talk about England's fellow Western Europeans. Namely, a nation of Franks and black people. This is going to be a duel, make no mistakes about it. At one side of the defence, Dom Vida will have to find ways to knacker Kylian 'will he make kimbap out of the opposition again?" Mbappé. It doesn't matter whether you're JJ Lin or JJ Ng. So long you support Belgium, it's only natural to seethe and rage at this kid. It's like strangling your fave SGN.
Apologies to any JJ supporting Belgium if Homer Simpson reminds you of yourself for whatever reason.
Dom Vida played an open play blinder at the defensive left. That'd put him on the collision course with KiMbappé. To stop him, Dom Vida needs to guess correctly whether KiMbappé will continue to run straight down the touchline or suddenly cut inside. To deal with KiMbappé, Mr Zlatko needs to get another Croatian dude to watch Dom Vida's back. If Dom Vida is there to cover the width, the whoever the other Croatian is must ensure the space in the central defensive region is covered properly. And that's not considering the greatest goal assassin in the current world of modern day football: Antoine "Fortnite is for England, Assassin's Creed is for him" Griezmann.
As for Simi Vrsaljko, his presence down the offensive right as the ever-present rightback bossing the ball means he will be going one-on-one against Deschampions' man: Blaise "the base protector" Matuidi. This may prove to be intriguing as Mr Zlatko needs to predict who will be having Matuidi's back in the same way Dom Vida needs a teammate to have his back against KiMbappé. Matuidi is what John would call a counter-offensive player. But that's only if Deschampions opts for a 4-2-3-1. Against Croatia, he may go for the more defensive 4-3-3 which would always result in Griezmann's inner assassin being suppressed.
Luka Skywalker and Ivan the Great. One is a polarising figure of irony while the latter is the sidekick equally good. One is like Guan Yu or Zhang Fei, generals with their glaring flaws and obvious fame. The other is like Zhao Yun and Chen Dao, warriors of lesser fame yet with a nobler character. Against England, Modrić was Guan Yunchang down the right while Rakitić was Zhao Zilong down the left. The one-touch passing from the width to the centre of the box was breathtaking, the gulf in quality all too glaring in the full glory of Croatian flair. This was the kind of football fans have been paying to watch.
Against Les Bleus, however, the duo need to be at their intellectual best. There's no question about the technique. There's no question about Modrić's indefatigable steel. However, Deschampions will be out to cut off the passes from one half of this dynamic duo, so that the other half will be forced to carry the team. And once this happens, Croatia is done for. For Modrić, the question lies in how deep he will play. Assuming he will start in the hole 9 (since Mr Zlatko enjoys doing 4-2-3-1 like a German), how close will he play to the Croatian four by two? No one can fault Griezmann's grit (after all, his club boss thinks like his national boss). However, once Croatia starts bossing the area between the French frontline and backline, Les Bleus will be in trouble.
This comes to Ivan the Great down the left. His rampaging running against England was reminiscent of Thomas "he plays Assassin's Creed like Griezmann as well" Müller doing the same thing against Argentina four years ago. Different flank, same thing. Les Bleus defensive weakness lies in KiMbappé and Le Mann. Why John says this is very simple: The two are never specialists in defensive work beyond tracking and trying their best to do an Irish Keane. This presents an interesting scenario for Ivan the Great: Will he go all the way down to the byline wire or will he do what Vrsaljko did against England at the other flank? Remember, Croatia's equaliser effectively killed England. Before that, the Three Lions were defending well from the 20-yard box to the midfield. Of course, this didn't mean anything when it boiled down to the most vital ingredient for victory and defeat: The final ball worth the square root of sod all coming from a nation that invented the phrase. Either way, Les Bleus would have done its homework. They should know it pays to learn from a rival vanquished at the end of the Hundred Years' War.
As you all can see, anything can happen from this point onward. That includes Mario "Super Mario" Mandžukić becoming the one and only proven Super Mario. Against England, Super Mario proved to the entire world that it's possible to take apart the defensive juggernaut in blue. Why John says so is very simple: Les Bleus won it against Les Diables Rouges because of an ineffective Romelu "the black Romulus" Lukaku. If Lukaku got it against France, Deschampions might well be staring at a repeat of the Hundred Years' War for all the wrong reasons. Against a half-arsed English starting XI, it seemed that Lukaku still hasn't got it going by the ratings from the Sky people (which would explain why it took full strength Belgium XI this bloody long to score the second goal).
Super Mario will not be in a forgiving mood. Corrupted people bossing the national football or not, Croatia and Mr Zlatko would want to win it. For the people and the nation, make Croatia great again. Of course, John is referring to the football and Jules Rimet golden club.
As a centre-forward, he's expected to hold up the ball in the box. As Super Mario, he's capable of drifting out wide or ghosting into the danger zone like a Croatian playing Assassin's Creed. In fact, that's how he scored the winning goal. Can Les Bleus shackle such a guy? Super Mario's ability to go either out wide or entering the fray right at the centre means his tactical awareness can easily wrongfoot a defence marshalled by the ever-excellent N'Golo "no Terry-Ferdinand jokes pls" Kanté and the equally excellent Raphaël "Pepe's problem has a name, and that name is Raphael Varane" Varane. In the centre, it's very easy to mark anyone. If the same guy goes out wide, the central defensive unit cannot afford to chase after the fellow, Super Mario or no Super Mario. Lest, we forget, the reason why Les Bleus is so excellent at the moment (results and defence wise) is down to having two bulwarks intelligent and strong like a pair of knights in shining armour. Never mind the colour of the armour. That's not important because John is a Singaporean who respects his fellow Singaporeans, otters or no otters.
As you all can see, anything can happen from this point onward. That includes Mario "Super Mario" Mandžukić becoming the one and only proven Super Mario. Against England, Super Mario proved to the entire world that it's possible to take apart the defensive juggernaut in blue. Why John says so is very simple: Les Bleus won it against Les Diables Rouges because of an ineffective Romelu "the black Romulus" Lukaku. If Lukaku got it against France, Deschampions might well be staring at a repeat of the Hundred Years' War for all the wrong reasons. Against a half-arsed English starting XI, it seemed that Lukaku still hasn't got it going by the ratings from the Sky people (which would explain why it took full strength Belgium XI this bloody long to score the second goal).
Super Mario will not be in a forgiving mood. Corrupted people bossing the national football or not, Croatia and Mr Zlatko would want to win it. For the people and the nation, make Croatia great again. Of course, John is referring to the football and Jules Rimet golden club.
As a centre-forward, he's expected to hold up the ball in the box. As Super Mario, he's capable of drifting out wide or ghosting into the danger zone like a Croatian playing Assassin's Creed. In fact, that's how he scored the winning goal. Can Les Bleus shackle such a guy? Super Mario's ability to go either out wide or entering the fray right at the centre means his tactical awareness can easily wrongfoot a defence marshalled by the ever-excellent N'Golo "no Terry-Ferdinand jokes pls" Kanté and the equally excellent Raphaël "Pepe's problem has a name, and that name is Raphael Varane" Varane. In the centre, it's very easy to mark anyone. If the same guy goes out wide, the central defensive unit cannot afford to chase after the fellow, Super Mario or no Super Mario. Lest, we forget, the reason why Les Bleus is so excellent at the moment (results and defence wise) is down to having two bulwarks intelligent and strong like a pair of knights in shining armour. Never mind the colour of the armour. That's not important because John is a Singaporean who respects his fellow Singaporeans, otters or no otters.
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