Semi-drifting 12/4/19

Well, if I’m lucky enough, I may get my PC back by early next week. That’s way faster than expected. Of course there’s a chance that I’ll need to get a new PC since the current machine is already 6 years old. Which means when I bought it, that was during that year which I pulled off the dumbest deed in my entire life.

Recently, I visited the official Neverwinter site for the actual date when everyone will be going under the mountain. Given that the gamers will be having a catch-up event lasting until 23rd April, I won’t be surprised if that very Tuesday would be the day where Undermountain will reach the surface world after a period of underground testing minus all the Kims except for Taeser Kim, Agent Kim, and other Kims belonging to the southern half of salty Korea. In fact, it’s already some sort of a given that new mod releases for Neverwinter always popped up on Tuesday. Until the new mod comes with all the changes, I’m not going to play the Tales of Old event due to tactical reasons involving my main. And yes, the Chosen (wood elf) of Kelemvor remains my main. Truly a case of “Never my god and never my people” indeed.

So what will this post be all about? Basically just some rambling involving the facial features of the individual races of my fantasy world where God doesn’t exist.

Elves and Relentless Ones:
We all know the typical deal. Sharp angular facial features, a height no taller than 1.7, and the typical East Asian three sizes where the women are concerned. So how typical are my elves?

Otherwise known as the Homm’Nua, elven men and women share the same average height. While they’re no six-footer version of the giants in Norse mythology, the range would go from 1.7 to 1.75 or so. But definitely never 1.8.

Build wise, they are what scientists would call an ectomorph. While ectomorphs are lean in frame and have difficulty building muscles, they are also known to have a higher level of endurance, flexibility, and agility. These three physical advantages are exactly what elven warriors are made of. Of course, this would mean the objectified definition of sexy won’t apply to both genders. No Magic Mike and no Mythical Vergara. If you want any of that, the world defining A Requiem From Winter Past is not for you. Better luck in the Japanese 2D world, I’d say.

When it comes to the facial features, the elves do have the typical type we see in the Witcher games starring Geralt of Rivia. The visuals are stunningly real and you don’t need to play the uncensored version to know that. And besides, you can’t buy that version in Singapore anyway unless you do that illegally. However, there are two notable changes.

One, you have the ears. Because I blame the Record of Lodoss War anime aired during 1995, I decided to opt for the Japanese anime variation.

Then you have the eyes. Now while the Asian almond shape is still there, the alignment would be straight rather than slanted. Quite contrary to the dumb, drunk, and racist moments involving people pulling up the outer corners of their eyes, my observation skill revealed the truth about the Asian almond eyes. They’re not always slanted. This isn’t my truth or the Asian’s truth. It is the truth and I don’t have the willingness to deal with post-modern idiots disagreeing with me. And besides, not all Asians have the almond shape eyes. I, for one, have eyes closer to the commonly known version of the West Asian shape. Just don’t ask me how I got it because I don’t want to speculate whether my parents adopted a kid with Ainu blood. Okay, I am digressing here. My point is very simple: The Homm’Nua do have straight almond eyes instead of the slanted version. And it’s racially universal.

When it comes to the eye colour, pure blooded elves always have the emerald green eyes. But if we’re talking about half-elves, their eye colour would reflect that of the non-elven parent.

For body and facial hair, I decided to go for the typical aesthetics. In other words, no hair apart from that on the head. And it’s racially universal. No, I’m not being racist. I’m just being politically incorrect in a nation known for being politically correct.

Now onto the Relentless Ones. The only differences between them and their elitist brethren would be the hair and eye colour.

The hair would be white. Like dark elves if you get what I mean.

As for the eye colour, it’s always blue. Azure to be exact.

P.S: I have to end things here. I don’t have to repeat myself when it comes to the sins of Apple and Safari. So I’m going to end this by upping a meme. Actually it’s intended to be placed in the middle of the post if not for the transgressions of those two brand names.